I suppose it should have been more obvious, but for the past two relationships I've gotten to a point where I just *had_to_get_out.* I only recently came accross something that made me read more about commitment phobia, and it blew me away how much it sounded like I was reading about myself.
Anyway, I'm looking for resources. I've hurt two very beautiful people who loved me like there was no tomorrow, and my fear of commitment just blinded me. I cheated on them, I became emotionally unavailable, I stopped wanting to have sex with them, I did almost anything to try to get them to break up with me, or to end the relationship, except for sitting down with them and telling them that I wanted out.
I'm embarrassed by my behavior, and very sad at the loss of these people in my life. I am looking for good resources - books, therapists, articles, anything - that can help me understand my fear and overcome it. This is a pattern I need to break.
Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
