artblue

He called and we talked about everything. He apologized for not being more sensitive to my feelings. He is very lonely there and is excited I will be coming to see him in three weeks. I feel so much better now. Thanks for yor support!

The update is that he has not called for two days now, and no emails either. I am still sad and frustrated because I would like to discuss the situation with him. But he must need the time to think. It drives me nuts. Maybe he will call tomorrow- which would be bad timing because I have to work all day! Oh well... I did call a friend to come over and keep me company last night she and I ordered pizza and talked about all kinds of things including him. She thinks he won't drop this ex. I guess I will have to see. In September he will be finished in Europe and will return to Texas. I guess that will be the time to decide.

It was not pretty. He says I am taking away his freedom to express his feelings. Things with her have gone bad and they are not friends right now. He can not handle me being angry too. He said he wants to be alone and with out the pain of angry women. He also said he would not call me today as he had planned to do. I am heartbroken. He is so selfish. I do not know if this means we are finished. I guess I am just going to have to wait until I get to Austria to talk to him. Three more painful weeks.

Just want to say I am so happy to have received so much good advice so fast! You all are so kind. I have been letting this issue stir in my mind for a month now and it is time for me to set limits. I anticipate he will try to talk me into being a more compassionate person especially because of his ex's mental condition. However, I am ready to stand guard over my own needs and what I am willing to tolerate. Until now I have been seeing only that I must be selfish to want him to break ties with her when she is so needy. When I look at it from the point of view that I must maintain my boundaries then I do not mistakenly place blame on myself for his actions or her needs. He is in Italy now where she lives trying to "transition their relationship into a friendship". I will be joining him in August when he is in Austria. He should get my email tomorrow, where I tell him my needs and limits. I will keep you updated.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Before me he was seeing a woman for three years who was/is very cruel to him. However he keeps trying to remain friends with her. I don't see any logic in the matter except that he must still love her. I feel like a fool for letting him go on trying to smooth things over with her because she is obviously doing this to get attention from him. He tells me that he can't just dump her in the trash because she has been diagnosed bi-polar and he sees her as very weak and needy. By the way, he won't tell her he is seeing me because as he says "she is not ready to know". Now that I type this it all seems so stupid of me to tolerate. I guess what I want from you is to tell me I am not alone. I am an intellegent woman with two degrees. I feel silly for being in this situation.