ades

hey= well i can answer your question.. But can you give me just a little more details abotu you 2. Like who broke up with who? How old guys are? and whether you broke up for a real reason? and if ether of you has any other interests in other people.. I can give you advice from my own bad judgement in the past...Just lemme kno wat happened a little more.. THANKS

Well, I am 20, my g/f is 18. We broke up "mutually" because we had been together for 2+ years and it just didn't seem to be "working", but we still had/have (?) strong feelings for each other but I guess we decided it was best in our heads, even though our hearts said otherwise.

I don't think she is interested in anyone else, she says she is not looking (and I believe her) BUT she is very attractive/flirty/outgoing and a lot of guys like HER and sooner or later it will happen.....

Me I'm not really interested in anyone else - thinking about her too much and whether it was a mistake that we broke up. I guess the sex thing is, well..."comforting" in the fact that it makes me feel like she wants me back, even though that is probably not the case and that it is purely a physical thing, even though we still have strong feelings for each other.

I know its hard because you want to hang with your ex, chill with them and feel as though you can be in each others lives..but honestly, you won't be able to keep your hands off each other.

I know what you mean, but with my ex-ex G/f, we never had this happen and although we did not talk or see each other for a while, we are now very close friends (no sex or physical contact though).

So you think just leave it? Not see her anymore - because you are right, we can't keep our hands off each other and I guess it's the discipline (for lack of a better word?) to either resist or just not see her at all.

luvsick 41,

Yeah you're right - it's "right" for all those reasons, but wrong in so many more ways.

Do you think I should just avoid seeing her altogether or see her but not have any initmate contact?

Even if we see each other and don't have sex, we always seem to hug and hold each other a lot ( I guess the comfortability factor, vs doing that with someone who was just a friend), lie on the couch watching TV or whatever, sometimes even hold hands etc when out, EVEN though we are not together. Are these things bad as well?

Am I just holding on to what we had in the past? Should I stop all physical contact completely?

Hi everyone,

My g/f and I broke up some time ago (about a month or so) and we still keep in contact and talk but have on a number of occasions had sex and/or other sexual activity. I know this makes it harder to get over her, but it makes me feel close to her and makes me feel as though she still has feelings for me.

Should I stop seeing her completely so as to stop all of this happening? Because I know that if she were to meet someone and all this were to stop, it would be hard (as it would be like going from a highly intimate relationship, though we are not together, to one where it would be "off-limits" to touch her)

We both just get the "urge" and it just happens. Then afterwards we always say it's not right, we shouldn't do it, etc, but it keeps happening. What should I do?

If she does these things in your presense, what does she do when you are not around? I realize some personality types are just this way, but she shouldn't still be seeking the attention of other men, especially if she loves you. I would never flirt with another man, why would I! The only man I would ever want is my partner and his attention would satisfy me 100%. Another option, is start flirting with other women infront of her, give her a taste of her medicine. I bet she wouldn't like it too much, she needs to understand how it feels.

My ex did this a lot, when she had a bit to drink, she would get very flirty with all the boys (and of course, they encouraged). I would get jealous and moody and all the guys would think I was overly possessive. Then I would take her aside and tell her what she was doing and she would just say "she didn't realise she was doing it" (part alcohol and part personality type?).

If any females out there can answer, is this a "valid" reasoning - "I didn't realise"? Or do you always know when you're flirting?

I I think you should not worry about her and what she is doing. You need to break all contact with her. Its going to be much harder if you see her and find out what she has been doing. Don't look back and move forward and i promise you that things will get better!!!!!

 

I know what you mean. I didn't see her for 2 weeks and it seemed to be OK, then we saw each other and now i'm a mess again. I guess I just miss her heaps and feel really lonely and that I'll never meet someone that I can get that close to, which is partly why I'm holding on - what if she is the only one for me?

Hi ades, welcome to enotalone.com.

 

Can you tell me why you two broke up? Does she still have feelings for you? And you said you wait till she calls, why don't you call her? Take some time to think about all this and re-write kthx.

 

take care

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

Jeff,

We broke up the "first" time because she started seeing someone else. Although she initially calimed she broke up with me and THEN started seeing him, I know she had feelings for this guy while we were still together. That didn't last because I fought for her, I saw her as often as I could to show her I really loved her and eventually we got back together.

Problem was, after the whole incident it was never the same and I guess the "strain" just took its toll after I was so jealous/worried because it had happened before and so we broke up "for good".

I don't want to call her because I'm scared I'll get her while she's with someone or doing something while I'm doing nothing. I think she still has *some* feelings for me, but only those that may be around after a 2 yr relationship. I know she says it's not right for us to be back together and that if it is meant to happen "it will".

Hi everyone,

My g/f and I have been on again off again for sometime, but now it is over for good.

We still see each other and talk to each other a bit, but it is becoming increasingly difficult not to get jealous when she tells me about all these parties and nights out she's having, how well work is going, things she's looking forward to, all of which don't include me. She has moved on (I think...)

Me on the other hand have not and I think about her all the time and don't do anything. I just sit around hoping/waiting until she calls hoping she'll ask to see me. I want to see her but when I do, it's so hard because I get really jealous about how she has moved on and the worse thing is thinking about her with another guy.

I'm not sure its so much that I want to get back with her, but I hate that I can't move on and she has quite easily. We were together for 2 and a bit years and I still feel strongly about her.

I try and go out with friends and meet new people, but I just get depressed because I am thinking about her and what she might be doing who she might be meeting, etc.

Please help?