I FEEL SO HURT AND TORN. MY FINANCE HAS JUST LEFT FOR A SIX-MONTH OUT TO SEA BECAUSE HE'S IN THE NAVY. IT HURT ME SO MUCH WHEN I LEFT HIM IN THE AIRPORT. WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH. WE BEGAN HAVING A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP SINCE DECEMBER 2001 AND I WENT TO VISIT HIM IN FEBRUARY 2002 AND HE CAME BACK AGAIN THIS SECOND TO LAST WEEK OF MAY AND HAS JUST LEFT TWO DAYS AGO. HE'S STATIONED IN SAN DIEGO, CA. AND I'M HERE IN NEW YORK CITY, NY. IT REALLY HURTS NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE HIM EVERYDAY. I'M SOON GOING TO MARINE CORPS BOOT CAMP, THIS SEPTEMBER. WE BOTH SHALL BE BACK TO NEW YORK IN DECEMBER 2002...IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T THINK I COULD HANDLE IT THAT LONG. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. AND I KNOW HE DOES TOO. I JUST FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS KILLING ME SOFTLY AND I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF. I WISH I WAS IN SAN DIEGO WITH HIM OR HE OVER HERE IN NEW YORK. IT'S EVEN HARDER FOR ME HERE BECAUSE HIS PARENTS DON'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH. AND MY FATHER DOESN'T WANT ME NEAR HIM. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY FATHER THINKS I'M JOINING THE MILITARY BECAUSE OF MY FINANCE AND DOESN'T BELIEVE I COULD MAKE IT. I 'M UPSET AT HIM BECAUSE THAT'S NOT TRUE...IT'S NOT EVEN THE SAME BRANCH OF ARMED FORCE. MY MOTHER IS THE ONLY SHOULDER I COULD LEAN ON FOR NOW...BUT I FEEL SO ALONE. I KNOW I HAVE TO BE STRONG BUT FROM WHERE DO I GET THE STRENGTH, IF I FEEL SO WEAK.
