almost22

I wouldnt have been out getting drunk and messing around with other women if we had been together, But we were broken up, so I actually didnt cheat on her....I did make a mistake however...

I actually talked to her after not talking to her for a week, and she suggested if I am not sure what I am ready for, that we could just see eachother either when her kids are asleep or when they are with their father. but that would also be difficult because I dont want to drive two hours to have short little visits all the time....stilll confused.........................................I dont think that would make me happy. But I love her.

So Im not sure what the heck is going on now. I went out with that girl I was suppose to meet, who is my age by the way. Long story short, I wasnt feeling it with her, but ended up drinking and one thing led to another, I slept with her. That is horrible of me. This is ultimately the most disappointed in myself I have ever been. What If I decide that I do want the relationship described in my first post (which I am leaning towards after spending some time with the other girl.) I will have to confess what Ive done, which might ruin everything anyway, and she will probably think that is the reason we cooled things off in the first place. I have a hard time make decisions with relationships, maybe i wonder too much....what if....But I still am unsure of anything. But I know this...I love her soo much. We have been apart for a week, and her memory hasnt left my mind. Im very disoriented about all of this, and everything else...I wish I could just read something that would tell me exactly what to do, and know that was right....hhhheeeelllllllppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you all for your advise thus far: I do adore her children, and I love her. But with the age difference, I feel like she knows what she wants in her life/out of life. Im so young I just dont know If I want to be completely settled right now. Just like a prior post clementine orange said to live your life or you will wake up one day and realized you missed out on a lot of things that come with being young. I moved out at an early age and I kinda feel like I missed out on that stage after your schooling is done and you start working, and live at home, carefree. I feel like I have already rushed into my life, and Im not sure if I am ready to rush into this next new stage of it. I have now started to second guess everything in my life, my job, where I live, my friends, what it is I want out of life. Im just trying to find out what it is I want out of life, then I can begin working on it. My friends told me I should go on a few dates, and see if any other girls give me that same feeling in which she did. So I am meeting a new girl tonight, however I am really unsure if this is the right thing to be doing, plus I am definitely not excited about it...kinda dreading it actually. I hope this made my situation a little clearer. Thank you all for your help, now I need some more!!! lol

I am 21, she is 37, exactly 15 1/2 years apart. We have been dating for about four months and she has shown me love that I have never experienced. The degree of caring and security that only true love exhibits. Recently we have decided to cool it between us for the simple fact that Im not sure if I am at a point in my life when I am suppose to be ready for this. She is amazing, she also has two children, the ages of 8 and 9, of whom I adore. I feel I am more mature then most my age, ive acquired an associates degree, established a career, my truck is paid for, and about 6 months ago I bought my own house...on my own. However Im not sure if Im ready for the whole "family" idea. And the fact that im unsure of what I want had distanced me from her in our relationship, and it has been a recurring thought, or fear that I have. We also have another obstacle, we are also attempting a long distance relationship, we are about 2 hours apart. I dont know if this is all too hard to attempt, or if I am ready, or what to do. What about 10 years from now I will be 32 and she will be 47? Will I be okay with that. A little sound advice could go a long way for me....please help!