tiredofthis

So... I apologize for making a general comment like that, but it was directed towards that it isn't gender-based. so Melis, as everyone in here trys to give you advice and you process all of it and try to decide what to do, listen to this...I confronted my fiancee last night and she left me. Me confronting her the previous evening set her off and she decided to unload on me everything she's been bottling up inside and we're through, she is moving out today as we speak and it hurts a lot. When I said be true to yourself, you can't just settle for less and not be true to yourself. It will eat at you, day after day. I did it and now I'm emotionally paying for it, but I'm going to be alright. This forum has helped me a lot to deal with this and hopefully will continue as the next few weeks are going to be ungodly. -doing it on my own in san diego

Melis, wow, you're 23. You have the rest of your life ahead of you! That is so positive in so many respects. I know how you feel as I went through this with my last ex-fiancee and I'm trying to give this one the benefit of the doubt even with proof, but I just have to confront her because I'm only cheating myself in the end and if I regard trust as the most important factor we have to be open about it. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be though. I remember packing a bag and staying with a friend for 3 days and during that time I thought a lot, missed a couple days of work and told her that it was over, that I deserved better and let me tell you, it hurt for a good 3-4 months, but I got over her and the feeling that she was messing around on me and lying made it easier to forget her. This time for me is most likely harmless, but I just hate the lying, it's on both sides man or woman, they all cheat and lie and will do it again. good luck and be true to yourself that's all you can do.

I've been in the same situation before with my last fiancee, finding out she went over to her ex's house when I wa out of town. Now I'm engaged again and I told myself I would never need to check her email, phone, etc. Well I had this weird feeling last night since she was up in her old neighborhood and I logged in and found a sent email from her to her ex saying that she wanted to get together for dinner and catch up. She told me she was going up there to meet up with old friends. I'm sure it was innocent, but I called her and asked her if she was meeting up with him and she denied it. Then she kept saying would giving you access to my phone, myspace, email make you feel better and I told her that's not what I wanted, but of course I already knew. Well when I logged in again this morning to print it out to show her, she deleted it forever. I know how you feel...even if it's nothing big, it's still a lie.