liz43230

I tried it when I was inpatient in rehab. It taught some good relaxation skills, but the emotions always return. I have skills and tools to get through the moment, but nothing takes away the anger.

In all honesty, I do actually feel better when I hurt myself. I am a spiritual person. But my Higher Power, meditation, prayer, only lead me back to my anger. I pray for those that make me angry. I pray for the anger to be released. I pray for my Higher Power's will to be done. I turn over my problems and life to my Higher Power. But still the fire burns.

I feel so angry. I don't know what to do about it. I cannot release it and I cannot live with it. Now I find myself searching for new ways to turn my hurt and rage inside into physcal pain. If the pain I felt were real, then it would hurt and then go away. Instead it burns inside of me, flaring up occasionally making my eyes burn with the tears I hold in. Does anyone know how I can make it hurt? And then release that anger? I'm not a cutter. I can't use alcohol, drugs, or nicotine as I am an addict in recovery. I need a way to cope that no one has told me about yet. I want to feel the pain so I know it is real. I've told a therapist who didn't let me talk about it. I've told a friend in recovery and he told me to rely on my Higher Power (God). I need something REAL to feel the pain and make it go away. I've broken bones before and that is the only solution I know. Thoughts?