Trab

she smsed me today, wishing me a good weekend, and a kiss. I replied wishing her one too. I'm thining of asking her over for xmas still. what do you think?

whats your story?

Never give a direct answer unless it's no! She wont ask! If she does, play with it. It's a test to see how you react

FACE YOUR ENEMY! That's your fears, not her! She'll email you for a reaction. OPEN IN and put it here so we can pick it together!

half your friends are probably lying about it! Really! They want to fit in!

wow, that really is an impressive reply, thank you. I'll have to read trhrough it many more times before I fully understand it.

I didn't text her last night, but was really expecting one from her. I'll go back to NC and look what happens. I feel better now then 2 days ago, but because I have hope again, and you are so right how no problems like this can be resolved in a few days, only months or never.

I even hoped that her friends whould talk some sense into her. I just wish I'd kept my composure last night, and not acted needy.

She'll just NC me again.

Hello everybody,

This is my ppost with my original story

Last night a couple of friends and I were going to meet up and have a lot of fun. I was with another male friend and we were early, so we dicided to have a beer at a bar I have't been to in years.

When we walked in there, it was so busy that we walekd straight out, but on the way out I caught a glimpse of my ex! I'd been on NC for 4 days. I kpet walking out. When I was out I felt so bad, that I walked back in. She saw me and came up to me and I said I'd like to have a chat, and she said that was a bad idea because she'd had a copule of drinks. She was there on a going away party of some people of her work, some of which I know a little and they were glad to see me.

We ended up going to a very quite part of the bar, and I started saying how although was was upset for a day or 2, the spilt had been terrific, because I realized so many things I did wrong, and that I neglected myself and that I'd tottally picked up on my study and my business plan. I asked her how she was and she said she'd been swamped with work. I said I had been really living it up and been out all the time, at which point she got upset and walked away, saying I was making it mpossible for her. She walked back to her group and I walked after her, put an arm on her shoulder and whispered to her that every moment without her had been agony, so I took her by the wrist, and led her back to where we were. HEre I mentioned some things I missed, and where I admitted to where I had been wrong in the relationship, and that the time/space apart had been very usefull, a real wake up call. She said she missed me so much and we hugged, and we had some light kisses, just pecks on the lips really. I felt so attached to her again! GRRRR I HATE ME THERE AND THEN! She then got up and walked back to her friends with her arms behind her for me to take her hands, as she wanted me to talk to some of them. They were however at the bar, and she said I better go and meet my friends. I was really reluctant to go and started saying stupid stuff like I need a yes or a no, or I can't live without a descioion kind of BS! She said we'd talk soon. I kissed her on her head and walked out. She looked out of the window and I made the gesture to follow me a couple of times. She then sat that with her back to the window.

I went out, had a great night, met a lot of people, including some very nice girls, but was open about my ex and I and even got some advice. It was along the lines of NC her again, and she'll contact you around Christmas ( She'll be alone on Christams and Boxing day now) and you'll be together by New Year..... I hoped she'd sms me or dropped by in the club we were, but nothing. What was good for me ( yes, I know thats bad) is that i learned she'd been very upset and depressed about it too, and that there wasn't anybody else.

What do you think? I still do love her to bits, the chance of us seeing eachother was so unbelieevable small, I'm sure we both think it meant something.

I've tried to fllow your posts but they confuse me! Is it in code?

Why wish her a MErry Christmas if you don't mean it? Surely you don't want her to me happy this soon after your break up? You can aonly think about you now, and thats ok! NC IS THE ONLY WAY!

Read this! Go to page 1 though

Hey! Seh dumped you! Let her sms you Merry Christmas! STAY STONE COLD! DONT DESTROY 1.5 WEEKS OF SILENCE NOW!

Oh yeah, and if you do go, have a really long shower, have a briliant shave, andput on your best clothes. Dont let her see your weakness. If she wants anything to do with you, she wants a winner! So go do it soldier, but it's your last shot, so do it right! What would Clint Eastwood or Steve McQueen say?!?!?!

FEED YOUR EGO! DONT DISCUSS HOW YOU FEEL!

IF you want to be real cold, dont turn up. NOW THAT will make her wonder. If you want her back, and be honest to yourself, INITIATE NC!

HEy I have a silly quetion, but it may help somebody.

I've the person who dumped you, contacts you after a couple of weeks of your initialized NC, saying he/she wants to meet up or get back together, should you maintain NC or make an appointment on your terms?

Letting a window slip shut seems a waste. Any advice on this?

(I've only been on 2 days NC btw, not expecting anything for ages)

what did you tell her?

wow brother! NC paid off!!!! What you going to do? I suggest you wait for some reactions before you reply!

yes, its been 48 hours of NC and i cut contact of with her friend. I'm getting there. Slowly, just the memories and the festive season.

NC is for me, not me getting her back! That is what I need to realize! IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

no you are not! dont break NC!

IT's been 40 hours since NC. And althought I did a lot better, I feel like hell today. I coulnd't sleep, beating myself up with thoughts like how she could not contact me and beg me back, and that she's going out everynight, adn that she's may even be with another already. I know it's none of my buisiness anymore, but I'm breaking. It feels so hollow. I still want her.

Be honest to your ex, don't give him false hope. The causal guy is tempting now because it will give you closure, but trsut me, try not to go there, it will hurt you in the end.

Simple:

Stay friends:

Dumped - harder ( no recovery space)

Dumpee - easier (less guilt)

NC:

Dumped - easier (recovery time)

Dumpee - harder (guilt, regret)

I am in the same trap! Stick to NC!

Listen to some music that makes you feel good! For instance I hate rap music, and I just listened to it all day, and it gets you pumped!

I rrally sypmhazise with you, It's terrible. I'm affraid your situation is way above my head. I think it is for a lot of people so that's why you may not be getting as many replies as you hoped. JUst hold on tight, im sure youll get some great ones soon! If you feel you need a friend to unlaod on, send me a message and ill give you my msn and we can chat. like many others, im here for you.

just NC her and be really cold to her. Girls like it when guys do that. YEs! I did just say that and it may sound unethical, but I'm a real nice guy, and I have friends who are real nasty and al lthe girls love em!

The most important thing is to keep doing what's best for you. If going there is best for your career, go! Don't let her stop you!

Distance makes the hard grow fond or cold, it's something like that. THats the beauty of NC. The primary point being, that you get time to move on and less emotional. She will start realizing if she misses you or is better of without you!

It's a tricky call in your situation, because she seems pretty undecided. Do you still see her?

Dude! I'm no expert, but as long as there's converstaion, there's a way. Maybe you really have to change your ways, if you really love her. It seems like you haven't really broken up yet. It's your call really. Sorry if anybody disagress with me. I'm very optimistica, and honestly think you can fix this. Let me think about how though