glegend

Do you have a steady job?

Does she?

Transportation?

What's she going to do about school?

Well I already went over this but you may have missed it so Ill go over it for you. I work at Best Buy for 8.50/hour + 12% comission on every warranty sold and 15.00 on every new internet subscription sold. My girlfriend doesn't work at all, sometimes at her dad's restaurant. I have a tuned GMC Jimmy SUV 2-Door Model. For school by the time the baby would be born we we both be out of high schoo we are both in grade 12.

I know this might be very traumatizing to your little sister cause she is little, and seeing your mom pack her bags and her not knowing what might be happening and not knowing if she is coming back, i don't think its your mom thats the bad guy, i think your grandparents might be putting the wrong ideas in her head, like you said "They did not offer once all" to help out, i don't know if money is tight or not, but you'd think of all people they would understand, we all have lives to live, school, jobs, extra activites to do too, and there are ways to make things work till the task can be fix, walking, you driving, taxi, laundry mat, doing it by hand.

Yeah it would be a bit shocking for her cause she might ask "where's mommy going" or "why is she moving to grandma's and grandpa's". And your right its not my mom who is the bad guy its my granparents cause they put both bad and stupid thought/opinions in her mind. Money is a bit tight for my parents not for me 'cause I work at Best Buy so I pay for my cell phone bill, my gas, my clothes, and other things. I would think they would understand the most since they came from the village in Greece with nothing, they even grew up with nothing. Even my mom grew up with practically nothing, cause my grandparents couldn't afford much. My dad grew up the same way in a village in Greece, he moved here when he was 14. But when he grew up here and in Greece he didnt have much at all. But my dad and his sister (my aunt) understand it 100%.

Someday the Thank you might kick in when she relizes she would have never did it without you there to help her get to work and such

Maybe one day.

Like you said they managed way back then without, this is a luxury to be completely true, i managed when I was in an apartment without a washer or dryer, those cold winter days walking downtown to the laundry mat to get it all clean, was hateful but i did what I had too. think about all those kids that don't even have a roof over there heads, they'd never think once about a car, having fancy clothes, all that matters to them is making it though another day, or weather they even got to eat or not, there are some cruel ppl out there, i know that its there daughter and they want the best but no ones life is perfect!

Exactly that was my point. And they were like no she cannot do laundry by hand and she needs the car to go to work. Im like excuse me but no she doesnt she knows how to survive without it. Plus I drive her everyday and never get a thank you.

glegend, I like you. You have a level head on your shoulders. Keep up the good work. I've read this thread since the beginning, and I like the maturity and responsibility you show.

Wow thanks.

I can tell you really love your sister and want the best for her, so personal i don't think that its completely "mean" to take her away from your parents / grandparents, i know you feel that they need the taste of there own medicene, making everyone feel as if they started it, by taking your mom away, they'll know how you felt and they will have to feel it too by you taking your sister from them.

Besides my girlfriend I love my sister to death. Like I cannot see a world without them. Dont forget she's the only sibling I got. Me and girlfriend pick her up everyday from school bring her home fix her snack take her for ice cream the works. As for taking her away from her parents she will still be with her dad, cause that where me and my girlfriend will be living (my girlfriend and I are planning to get married, my dad will be at our house now). You know thats why I want to take my sister away my sister away cause they said they will take her and we will never see her again that they will make my mom have full custody, but they are forgetting my cousin is a lawyer and I can get her to get at least joint justody with my dad.

I thought of something else......has your grandparents ever offered to help her fix the car or washer??

 

Blush

They did not offer once all they said was for the car was for me to fix it either with my money or my parents since I know automotive and have worked on that car before or to buy her a new one. Not a used one a brand new car. As for the washer either for my dad to get the replacement part or buy a new one. My grandparents were making a huge stink about it since july cause that when the car died and in august the washer broke, but they say they are going to move my mom back here like 2 weeks ago, just cause she didnt have a washing machine or car. Like I would drive my mom to work everyday, and she would never give me gas money like how my friends do including my girlfriend (I don't like to accept the money but they insist so I put gas and let them pitch in 5 or 10 dollars 'casue I have a SUV) The one thing I don't understand is they say a car and washing machine is a necesity, and my mom cannot due without a car or washing machine, but yet my grandparents from both sides including my parents grew up without cars and washing machine and all these fancy things that kids had back then.

Oh yeah, you'll still have those even when you feel like an expert, but at least you will be MORE prepared then someone with NO experience!

 

True but with more experience you will have less and less

Exactly and by the time we have kids she will be like a pro at dealing with babies and we wont have to face those difficult times where you have no clue what to do.

Well what I suggest is that she doent move in with her sister 'cause that's when it usually falls apart. Like she will have more freedom, time to herself basically she will be how she was before she got married at all. Take it from one who's seen it happened this happened to my uncle, him and my aunt were fighting alot they decided to take some time apart from October to the end of December, January came he was still at my grandparents house, now 1 year later and he's still there. But good luck and hope everything works out for the best

PS:

If you would like to hear more about my uncle's situation, to learn about what he is going through and what he has gone through basically what happened from the start to know so you can find ways to fix things please do no hessitate to private message me I will be glad to help.

Have you considered going to one of those clinic's where they do the test and give you the result? They are a free service I'm sorry I dont know there exact name. Its tought to brake it to them that you are pregnant, since you are only 15 (I'm 17 so I know what its like at this age since Im only 2 years older then you). An old friend of mine went through this, I just found out recently. She got pregnant last year by this black guy (no offence I dont mean to be racist) now she has a kid. But her's was a bit different she was messing around with the wrong crowd so you would of expected it. But it was hard for her. It will even be hard for you (if you are pregant). When you do tell them keep in mind they will be pissed off, they will say the old "where did we go wrong" they may get pissed at your boyfriends possibly try to kill him (hurt him). You will have to face them no matter what (if you are pregnant) just go in with a gameplan, wear your big girl clothes and your boyfriend his big boy clothes. Slowly set them down and tell them that you had "sex" even though you know it is wrong to do so at your age, but now you are pregnant (and if you are keeping the baby) and what both your plans are. And just be careful that your boy sticks around, cause you'll need him and if he doesnt I'll feel sorry for you (even though I don't know you) cause I know what its like for a kid not knowing there daddy, I have a little cousin who has never met,seen or herd of her father and she is 4 years old. The guy got my aunt pregnant then told her the truth that he was on business and he has to go back to his country to his family. And ohhh make sure they dont kick you out of the house 'cause they might do so.

They say we dont love her just because her car broke down. Me and my dad would not fix it. Well my dad wouldnt pay the money and I wouldnt do the work (Im do some auto repairs, mostly for my SUV and family/friends cars planning on getting into an automotive apprecticeship) 'cause it would of costed about 1200.00 CND and the car wasnt worth that (1989 Mazda 626). Then the laundry machine broke down and we couldnt get a replacement part so it was broken for 3 weeks, until I can up with a contraption with my dad to make it work. Some money problems were a cause, and also cause sometime my mom makes gramatical errors while she is speaking and we correct her but she takes it the wrong way also sometimes we make fun of her side of the family 'cause basically some of them arn't the brightest tool in the shed. They say we dont love her but like I know my dad and sister do, myself not at the same level as my dad and sister. Just 'cause my mom has said quite a few words to me but I still love her to an extent.

So yeah thats why they say we dont love her and they will just take her away, cause of that and sometimes me and her get into arguments (when Im not ouy with my girlfriend or when I come home, so basically almost evey night)

But if they try to and even think about trying to get joint custody when I turn 18 which is not to far into the future (currently I am 17) I'm going to file for custody of my sister and neither my mom nor dad have custody of her, and only let my sister see my mom and grandparents every now and then. Show them that it was a big mistake taking my mom away from her family and that they including my mom have to pay the price. Would you say that would be kinda mean though?

They say we dont love her

She may,

 

And if she does, remind her what you've already talked about. Another thing you can do is suggest she volunteer at a day care or post ads to babysit so that she can get in some time with kids and enjoy herself, but not have to take on the role of parent.

 

You are thinking on the right path, glegend. Don't let your gf sway that logical thinking- you know what is best for you both in this situation, and she's just thinking on a whim and on her teenage hormones.

She might but like you said just remind her what we've already talked about. Maybe it would be a good idea to get her to volunteer at a daycare centere or even babysit. As for being on the right path, well I need to be right cause I dont want to really do anything that can basically * * * * up my future. My apologies for swearing.

Hey everyone hows it going? Well me and my mom got into a big fight. My granparents said they are going to move my mom back in to their house making her leave my dad and me and that they will take my sister away from me. Which would be no big deal cause when I turn 18 I can just take full custody of my sister and she will be 11. I believe that by that age she would have some say in who she wants to live with. Anyways my parents do fight and at time I do fight with my mom more then my dad. Now its been 2 weeks and nothing has happened, I havent gone by my grandparents house in that time only to drop off my sister one day but I didnt walk in at all. Now I'm kind of worried that they are planning on splitting my parents up. What should I do? Are there any precautionsI can take? Any adivce

My girlfriend was saying the same thing to me "lets have a baby lets have a baby" only difference is we've been going out for 5 years (since grade 17) and we are both 17 years old high school student. The people of enotalone were able to help me help her. What I suggest from my experience is to wait abit longer. Until you are finished university and working at least for one year, and after you have a steady boyfriend who could possibly be your husband and then maybe get married first and have a baby or at least engaged and then habe a baby.

Sorry for taking a while to respond my appoloies. To tell you the truth I think she will be fine for at least a few months. Im kind of worried because in 2 Saturdays my family is invited to one of my moms uncles surprise 65th birthday party, my girlfriend is coming with me, but all my little cousins that are aged from 1-5 are going to be there so Im kind of worried she may start up again.

Glad to hear she was receptive to taking things a little slower and in an order that works for both of you.

 

Great news!

Thank you thank you lets just hope things stay like this as desired

Congratulations on your engagement!

Thank You Thank You. Its not really official, I havn't given her a ring yet Ive only asked her an she accepted

Have you talked to your gf about it? What does she say?

Ohh yeah I spoke to my girlfriend about this. So we went for a long drive, and I just asked her to marry me. I told her I love her to death I want to be with her, and start a family but lets take it step by step and do things the right way. She was just shocked, like she couldnt speak but yeah so she agrees with me and see it that we can start a family after college and my apprenticeship.

Yes- what are you going to do?

Just gonna marry my girl, do that automotive apprenticeship (im going to quit Best Buy) and then after she is out of college then start a family.

Your 17..

 

This debate has gone on long enough.

 

Obviously you are going to do what you want to do and you have it all figured out.

 

Is there anything more we can help you with?

Well I guess I got everything figured out now. So atm there is nothing more you can help me out with. Thanks alot for the help everyone, who contributed there time with this thread. Well actually there is one more question does anyone what I am going to do?

There's something totally absurd about the way you're treating this issue glegend,

May I ask what is so absurd about how I am treating this issue?

Right now, it sounds like you are WAY more interested in your truck than a kid.

Well my truck is like my "baby". It was left to me by my grandfather so it has its own sentimental value to me. So thats why Im interested in it so much besides my girlfriend. Cause its the only thing I have to remember him by.

Exactly. And although I know your parents got by on only a small income, you probably have no idea how hard it was for them.

To tell you the truth back then when I was a baby or even when I was 7 and my sister was a baby, it was easier for my parents to start a family as opposed to now. How you may ask, the answer is simple they had more dispossable income. My mom worked so did my dad, only difference is that my dad had an accounting job and he would do side jobs after work and weekends every now and then to make a some extra ca$h (which there is nothing wrong with that, is there?)