In 1982 a month and a half before my 17th birthday I began a 4 and a half year relationship with my highschool band director (age 26). the relationship was our secret for 2 years until the end of freshman year in college (I would have been 18 when to the outside world we would have "began dating"). Prior to age 18 there were secret sleepovers, lots of fondling, oral sex and once there was "accidental" penetration but never ejaculation inside me.
this relationship had a long drawn out ending over about 6 months during which I found out he was beginning another affair with a then current senior student of his. This ending was a horrible horrible episode in my life. I believe there was at least one student before me too. In the 20 years since I have not been able to get completely past this relationship. it has haunted me ever since even though I am married with 3 teen/pre teen children.
Was I molested/raped even though it was consensual?
Lately I have been battleing this demon more and more due to all the press regarding student/teacher relationships and possibly my own child becoming involved in a high school activity. What do I need to do so that I can put this issue to rest and not still be haunted by it 20 years from now?
