I am in love with this guy. And he feels the same toward me. However, he is better than me in every way. He's smarter, better-looking, and so on. This makes me feel inferior and insecure. I feel I'm not worthy of his love. I feel extremely small when I'm with him. I wish I could be as intelligent as him in order to be more worthy of his love. I hate myself. I hate my shortcomings. My biggest fear is that he would abandon me because of the fact I'm not as great as him. As a genius, he has every reason to despise me. He outshines me in every area. Whenever I detect a tiny sign that he might ignore/hate me, I feel like dying. Because of these, I'm not myself when I'm with this guy. I care TOO much about how he thinks of me. I appear very nervous, hypersensitive, and stupid. And this makes things worse. I am over-conscious about every word I say to him. I fear something I say would sound silly according to him and that he would despise me. I feel I'm just a silly little girl in his eyes. I know in fact he loves me. But I can never enjoy his love because of my feeling of inadequacy. I feel I need to be a much, much better person to deserve his love. I always try to be smarter so as to be "equal" to him, yet only end up making a fool of myself. This drives me crazy. What can I do now?
