empty421

trust me... i know how you feel... it hurts so badly and its all you can think about.. but after days and days of staying in my room by the phone and dwelling on it, i now have started to do other things.. ive started exercising again which i stopped for a long time, walking my dog, watching movies i love, spening time with family and friends, and going on here a lot of course... going to work helps too... anything to keep my mind off him calling

when he dosent i dont think about it until i am alone in my room again.. when he does i am happy... i think you should try to do other things.. whatever makes you happy and that you have to focus on so that you are not sitting by the phone waiting...

it makes time go by just a little bit faster..

hope i could help..

I just read your posts and this is exactly what I want to dio in mysituation... NC is too much for me and i think too much for him.. but i can do fine not calling him.. he is the one who needed space...

im glad you are handling this well... a lot better than i would at this point.. but i think you should stick with it... you are doing the right thing.. if he wants to he will make the effort...

good luck!

think about it this way... if you really still wanted to be with him would you see another guy "just as a diversion"... i dont know but that wouldnt sit too well with me...

about the not calling.. i know how you feel, maybe not after we were broken up but when we were together... its like i know at times when he would make it seem like he COULDNT talk to me... i knew he could... there is always a way to contact someone when you REALLY WANT TO. Whenever I wanted to, although difficult at times, I would find a way.

I dont think he is lying to you about going with his friend... but if he makes excuses for not calling you I dont think you should believe them.. if his friend could call, couldnt he borrow his friends phone...

It is really your decision whether you should start NC, but i dont think you should call him... let him call you

i hope i could help a little bit.. im just starting to learn how to handle all of this because im in the beggining of the coping period i guess.. but the advice from others on this forum has really helped me

am i stupid for thinking there may be a chance... why does he make the effort to call if he really thinks its over? why does it feel like he dosent hurt?

all these thoughts keep running through my head..

sillygirl.. i answered you in my last post.. yes i am weak

should i do LC... (picking up when he calls/returning his calls, yet not contacting him) i dont want him to think i am ignoring him and i gave up... i know he will take it like that... what do you guys think??

please give me some guidance on this post and the last... ive never been through this before and i know im proabbly irrational...

he called and i was weak and picked up... he told me goodnight... and he loves me... the usual...

i think i can handle the not calling him, but how do you not pick up when they call you and you feel like they are reaching out to you? i feel like if i dont pick up he will tell me he wants to see me or that he made a mistake and he wants to be with me again...

isnt it ok if i just dont call?? he is the one who needs space, not me.. so if he calls isnt it ok?? LC maybe??

im sorry... im new at this... and there are so many "what ifs"... i know im thinking too much into it...

any guidance?

help! i dont want to break down again... how do you deal with them calling??

he just called me... this is killing me

im trying not to cry again

thank you so much i really needed to hear that.. i know its all true but my heart tells me otherwise... but i think my mind is starting to be in control.. i love skating.. i should start doing that again... its been a long time... im giving him space now... its all up to him from now on... if he wants to fix things then he will if he dosent then he wont, no matter what i do... im trying to come to terms..

everytime i start to feel bad again someone on here makes me feel better... i should just stay on here all day...

i just have to keep thinking.. if he loves me, he will come back

my situation is very similar... we broke up about a week ago because we always were fighting and at the end of a huge argument he told (yelled) that we were over and he needed time...and im just as confused as you are... i just decided to stop calling him today, after talking to him and asking if i can see him and he acted like he didnt care and that when he was ready to see me he would tell me... all these past few days when we talk he calls me baby and says i love you etc... and then sometimes he will be very cold and mean and it kills me... after todays conversation/argument with him i decided to stop talking to him..if he wants to talk to me then he can make the effort... if not ill just have to move on... as hard as it is.. you should not call him or contact him in any way... he will see what he is missing... at least thats what i am hoping for... and if they dont.. i know you and I will find someone better someday..

he is acting like this because he knows you will always be there when he feels like talking to you... its a power thing...

hope i helped.. wish i could give more insight.. but im just starting down this road too..

i still check my cell every so often.. i think it would just give me some kind of satisfaction if he calls... but i just started this so hopefully ill start checking it less and less...

i have friends, but most of them are in relationships and dont have time... one of my friends and I may do something tomorrow night though... so we will see what happens...

once again thank you soo much for all your support... all of you have no idea how much you are helping me... its getting pretty hard right now and i may try to sleep soon but its pretty difficult with all these thoughts racing through my head...

its funny... when i was with him and i thought it would last forever and nothing like this would ever happen, i actually THOUGHT that being single again would be fun and that if we broke up i would be OK with it... never was i so wrong... i guess we all want what we cant have....

i just wish i could really understand why this is happening... i really feel like half of me is missing... we were going to move in together in the next few months, we talked about our future, we were unstoppable, and then all that was gone... i really want to know why...why now?

i cant believe this is happening

i ate... but now i want to talk to him... how do you guys keep your mind off of it?

im really glad i found this site.. i felt very alone and I now know that I'm not... thank you for your support and if any of you just need someone to talk to I am here for you as well... getting through something like this is so much easier with people who understand what you are going through and people who have gone through it and triumphed even though you may have never met them...

my theory is that everything happens for a reason, even though we may not know what that reason is...

i just walked my dog around the neighborhood... i may even eat dinner today... i feel good about my decision for now... thank you for lifting me up...

but there is still that damn thing called hope... i wish it would just go away...

thank you all...it really means a lot to me

thank you so much loveisparadox... you made me feel better... i just really need support through this... this is so hard for me...

but im not calling... im going to do this

im starting NC right now... im going to need help but i have to do it... i guess ill find out his true intentions in time..

this is going to kill me...

day 1 starts now... how will i cope?

he is one of those people who has no problem telling it like it is... he would tell me if he was completely done with the relationship.. yet he tells me he just needs to be alone right now...he is very busy and is in his last week of the fire academy and is constantly studying for the state test.. one of his friends also passed away this weekend... cant it be true that he really just cant deal with the situation right now... cant i have some hope

thank you rose... i honestly dont think he is looking for someone else.. this happened a week ago but it has been a week from hell for me... I feel so lost and like there is no end in sight... i just want something to look forward to... I think he dosent mean to call me baby.. just habit but it kills me when he does.. if i cant handle NC how am i supposed to give him space... and what about when he calls me... i dont want him to think i gave up because I havent

please... i am losing control

I cant handle this. I'm about to have a complete breakdown and I cant take it. As much as I wish I was able to do NC.. I can't...whenever I tell myself im going to try i breakdown a few hours later and call/pick up because I am miserable. How do I cope with this. How do I actually not call? He tells me he wants to be with me but he needs time.... but then he calls me or he calls me baby and tells me he loves me... I am so confused... I feel like he dosent care about my feelings.. he knows how this is affecting me, yet he only cares about what he wants... I would think after over three years he would give me some kind of say... at least a chance to really talk to him... im hysterical right now and I dont know how I can handle NC... im too weak for that right now.. I dont know how to make myself feel better... what do i do?? I'm at the point where I want to take sleeping pills so that I can sleep and not think, its the only time I am in peace. I barely eat because im not hungry and I constantly feel sick. How do I do this? How?

im a woman and i feel the same way.... i cant do NC... i just feel like its going to make things worse.. i just feel like if i chase that he will come back because he will see how much i care.. and i know that it make things worse... and im sure you do to.. but this just happened and im irrational right now... i dont know if you are... but it does only make things worse and makes you feel like they dont care because they arent putting forth as much effort as you... all i can say is to try really hard to give her the space she needs if you feel thats what she really wants...

what should i do now? how do i stop this pain?

thank you.. i just feel so lost right now... its sad that i really cant remember most of the things we argue about because they are so insignificant.. i know i cant make him take me back... but i just want a sense of direction... i just want to know things will be ok... i feel like half of me is missing and im very alone

the arguments are usually about somehthing i feel he has done that is an obvious thing (in my eyes) that is hurtful or you shouldnt do in a relationship) i usually start them because he does something upsetting.. i admit its not always necessary (i apoligized for that too)... but the reason that he dosent start them more of the time is because i do everything in my power to avoid him being mad at me.. i dont feel he does the same most of the time... i am just so different when it comes to things like this because I would never do these things.. he has done major things to me in the past and i try to fix them without doing this to him because i care about him and the relationship that much... i just feel he should do the same but i know we are different people i just dont know how to make myself understand because i feel as if i never will...

i never talk to him like that i just feel that way but i love him and care about him enough to not talk to him like that. I never want to hurt him like that.. if anything he talks to me like that when he is angry... i avoid it at all costs...im just angry about the situation right now... im venting i guess... i just want him to care enough about me to call or pick up and tell me we wont be seeing eachother today instead of not saying anything..