MISSING LINK

My combover doesn't make my butt look fat.

Chicks without a pulse is an instant dealbreaker for me.

then the other variables..

Armpit hair

gossipy and bad mouthy of any chick with sizable hooters

remote hogs

not appreciating the value of a good ball scratch in the morning

the list goes on..but I have to scatch my * * * * * right now

Well hell..Maybe the pic in my avatar will get me some digits LMAO

Alright. I'm about to embark on this NO CONTACT journey, because the truth is...NOTHING else has worked. This is a LAST resort. I have not seen many success stories with couples reconciling after NC, and the truth is...it blows the big one.

Fact is I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Kinda like a drunk feels

when attempting to get sober. This relationship is no different. It has me

at rock bottom emotionally with no way to go but up.

I've done it all..begged, pleaded , bribed, been nice, been mean, been indifferent, been an a$$hole, ..only thing I have not done is disappear.

The time has come.

NO CONTACT SUCKS DONKEY SCHLONGS BUT I AM DAMN SURE GONNA

DO IT IF IT KILLS ME.

LATE.

Considering the stickiness of the situation I am not sure if this was "rape". It is a BAD judgement call on your part.

What I gather from the poster is that she is feeling "dirty" and not so sure

if she was right or wrong in the situation. I think going from a "no" "yes" "no"

with this guy, and then giving in anyway..makes you feel powerless. You said you just "layed there' and let him finish. Clearly, not the actions of someone who felt what was being done was "wrong".

I will assume the drinking involved most likely inhibited your judgements more than anything.

I think Avman is right and that a jury probably would NOT convict him due to

lack of "evidence".

Seek some counseling. It may help you be more discriminating in the future.

Definetely because you let him get away with it, but who knows if there's someone else. You can't control that anyway. Worry about yourself for now.

Not much to figure out here. His actions are SCREAMING everything you need to know. You're not a priority. He knows you'll accept whatever crumbs he throws your way. Why should he make an effort?

Chances are he's sexually curious about this other chick, and is sniffing around. It would be a detriment for you to take him back once his curiosity is satisfied.

Be glad he was honest with you and didn't decide to keep jerking you around.

You are a free agent now.

It will hurt for a bit but he has made his decision.

Let him go . Don't hold onto the possibility he's coming back. That will set you back. Keep moving on.

Hey Mikey...yep classic case of MIXED signals. I think cutting through the crap is essential. Them saying :

"Maybe One day"...Thats crap

"we'll see what happens"....thats crap

"let's catch up"..thats crap

"it's bad timing"......CRAP

"I don't know what i want".....LAME

"It's not you it's me"....MEGA LAME

So my friend..you can see things through CRAP smeared lenses...

Or you can say....this is a bunch of CRAP....and nip it in the bud.

Excuses like these from ex'es are them biding their time to CRAP onyou some more ..at THEIR convenience.

I have a take on Getting Back Together....

I don't think there is ANY "formula" you can follow..to entice, coerce, force,

or goad ANYONE into getting back together with you. Does No Contact work? Sometimes. Sometimes not, but I think it can and DOES happen.

I don't think what works for one person will neccessarily work for another. We are all 'wired" differently. The key is finding out what makes your ex "tick". Do you know your ex well enough to know this? If you don't then I think your chances of getting them back dwindles substantially..because if you don't even know what makes them tick, how could you sustain a reconciliation if you DID get them back? Sure..having an ex respond to an email or phone call is a SMALL victory, but what then?? Do you then feel secure that you'll get them back? Not usually. It's usually followed by a period of banging your head against the wall, because you feel like you have been given false hope. Most likely you have.

Our dilemma is usually..what now? Do we WAIT for them to make the next phone call? Do we create excuses to contact them again? Or do we simply

continue with NC? If you had contact with your ex..chances are they made comments that led you to believe they wanted you back. Did you LISTEN to what they said..or did you hear what you wanted to hear?? There's a difference.

An ex saying: Lets catch up sometime.....is NOT "I want to get back together"

An ex talking about old times is not "I miss you and want you back"

Did your ex allude to getting together in the future..or is that what you THINK they meant??

It's so easy to fool ourselves isn't it?

Wishful thinking is OUR downfall, not our ex'es.

We need to clear the cobwebs out of our heads and see reality..not as w'd like it to be, but as it IS.

If your ex is interested in getting back together...you will KNOW it. if you have to question it or second guess it..then you have your answer.

It's clear as day..it is up to YOU to accept it. It's not up to your ex to clarify it for you.

Thats my take.

Hi all. I'm new to this forum but been lurking for a bit.

I have read a lot of posts on why you should or should not attempt to reconcile with an ex. However I don't see any REAL advice on how to

proceed once "getting back together' has happened. What I mean is once a

breakup has happened, there is a crack in the foundation of the relationship.

Aside from getting counseling ...what other methods are there? It's imperative that the issues that broke you up should be addressed before things can ever move forward....but how exactly do you do this?

My questions are: What steps can you take to ensure the same issues don't pop up again?

Is it necessary to keep talking about things that happened before?

Some people tend to just sweep things under the rug and not address them. Wouldn;t this be a detriment?

HOW do you talk about those "issues" without sounding distrustful..or like a broken record?

If one person was the role of the "pursuer" in the initial relationship, how

can you make that more balanced the next time around?

Thanks in advance for your replies!!!

M.L.