kalmia

I broke up with my bf of almost 4 years about 2 months ago. I told him I wanted to stay friends, but that I think we would need some time apart before we could do so. We kept in light contact through email about once a week (mainly because I would wait a few days before writing an email back to him). Last week he wrote me an email in which, for the first time, he said that he really missed me and wanted to see me. I didn't write back because I was taking some time to really try to figure out if we should see eachother so soon, if it would be good or bad for our relationship in the long term. I was going to write back to him today to let him know that I wasn't quite comfortable with that yet, but there's already an email from him in my inbox. In it, he harshly accuses me of leading him on because I obviously don't really want to be friends (since I didn't get back to him in 5 days), tells me to forget about everything, that he wants to put an end to this {mod edit}, and that when he asked if we could see eachother it was because he wanted to propose to me. So now i'm bawling my eyes out. I really, sincerely want to keep him in my life, but I want to do things the right way so as to not mess up any chance of a good future friendship. I tried to tell him this, but I'm not sure he understands. I'm so so worried for him, I really feel like he's miserable and suicidal (he's had tendencies towards that in the past), and I don't know what to do. I just want him to be ok, and I can't stand him hurting so bad because of me. Please, help.