Elisette

we already broke up

Hey friends, I'll start by introducing myself, I'm Elisette i'm 15 and i live here in Denver Colorado. Well I've been through alot of problems with older guys (over 17) because I have only dated older guys.

As I posted earlier i got into a BIG problem with a guy that was already married and as i recovered from that problem emotionally I decided to give myself another chance but this time i would start all over again by dating young guys my age, BUT Oh My God that is such a drastic change, the young guys hardly say what a girl wants to hear unlike the older ones that say "I love you" the first night they meet you only to get inside your pants. But to make matters worse this guy I'm dating is young PLUS unexperienced, so it is very hard for me to feel good and act his way if we have so many different ponits of view.But my problem right now is that I'm going out with this guy his name is Martin and he's only 16 he has only been going out with 3 girls, he's very shy, his relations only lasted 2-3 months, and he's a very down to earth guy (so he only says what he feels). We started dating on September 7 so we've only been going out for 2 months and we are having problems lately becuase of so many rumors going around and he gets mad at me because I later want to talk to him about what i heard and he starts telling me i should trust him. And i do because he's a very nice guy and also very honest, but a week ago i was talking to him and i'm always used to ask him playfully "how much do u like me??" and he usually answered "alot gurl!" but last week i asked and to my surprise he said "i dont know" and i felt really bad as soon as i heard that, then i asked again and he said he was confused and he needed time to get his feelings straightended out because he was very confused and it was all because of our differences and that i did not trust him. Then the next day i called him and he answered; we talked and decided to give each other a second chance and right now i dont know if it will work out but for the moment everything is going just fine BUT I feel really bad because i really cant tell if he's like that because he dont like me or because he's unexperienced, i mean he tells me that he has never said "I love you" to a girl because he bieleves love is when you are willing to do anything impossible for that person. He's a very honest, sweet, and nice guy, and i think i already fell in love for him and it would hurt me if we broke up so i wanna know what yall friends think because I REALLY NEED ADVICES OR OPINIONS PLEASE ANSWER ME IF YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!

Not necessarily. It only means he loves himself more.

That's what most people tell me they say he only cares for himself and does not love anybody but himself and does not care who he hurts

Walk away honey, in fact, run. You're too young to cope with this. These are adult games and you are not an adult. Don't get involved. If you think you're head's messed up now, wait until you do cave in and he gets his way. Walk away now before he hurts you badly.

 

I don't think she comes back without some sort of interaction between them, like for example him saying sorry and he'll never do it again and her believing him. Either that or she is as a big a fool as he is a cheat. Think about it.

so you are saying he's only lying???

It makes no difference how many times he slept with you, it's a separate thing, a separate life until the two worlds collide that is.

Then he has to make a decision and he almost ALWAYS chooses his wife, she is his partner, the one he loves and has hurt intensely and will do anything to make it up to her, including kicking the bit on the side into the gutter. Harsh but true.

Well he has never slept with me but I know him and he still does not regret what he's doing in fact he likes more and more by the way i notice him he is just like his dad unfaithful till the end and I just have that question if he loved her truly he would not hurt her....... and whenever she finds out he's been cheating on her he let's her go. But she is the one coming back to him everytime

so you're saying that you DO love someone and still cheat on her???? but in my case he's cheated on her ALOT of times, so many times that he lost count

A love of parents to children is different from a love to your significant other and different from loving a pair of sandles.

it actually si very different because love for family never ends and for a wife it actually may die and respect for a family is very rare these days (no offense)

If someone is cheating that usually means they don't love the person they are cheating on because if they did they would truly be dedicated. Respect COMES with love, you cannot say that you love someone but not respect. Same with trust, trust comes with love as well.

that's what I thought to

Not in EVERY case. But it's a S T R O N G indication he has very little respect for her.

but respect is very different from loving....so you mean he might love her but has no respect for her???????????

???????????????????????

I always wonder why mostly (not all) men only look for physically pretty women, and they almost never care for how they are in the inside, I have this problem because whenever I date guys IN PERSON they mostly go out with me physical and I also have talked /met guys in the internet that seem and are looking only at girl's personallity, but I have heard that men before were more smarter and looked at the inside of a girl

Theres a reason, this guy is saying beautiful things to u, because hes working of the goal of having a very illegal affair with u, and as soon as he gets what he wants, he will decend back into the shadows of which he came..it seems he's the type, that will pop up when he wants something and disappear when he doesn't...as the others say stay away..resist temptation and hide.

What do u mean by he'ss go back into the shadows??? Do you mean he will never talk to me again????????

welll that's the same question I have asked myself because a married guy is going out with me and he says he truly loves me but he's with his wife so I always ask myself if he really loved her he would not cheat on me, but my opinion is that if you really LOVE someone you NEVER CHEAT on them

Elisette you'll have to re-add i dont know what happened

Hey I tried to re-add you but it is still the same but you try to add me it is email removed

Hey you,

 

Haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Perhaps because you would be a sleep by the time I log on msn . I guess the time zone makes it harder to catch you online.

 

So are you okay then? Have you thought anymore about what you are going to do?

 

I have to say, for a 15 year old your very mature indeed. Much more mature than I ever was at 15, and it wasn't that long ago lol.

 

Since I know more or less what your going through, I would like to help you the best I can.

 

Hopefully I will get to chat to you soon!

 

For now, take care!

 

Miya xx

Hey well It surely is very hard to catch u online over there it is like 9 or 8 hours later than my time zone. but well I have thought about it on the wrong side of the situation. I used to think only good things about aur relationship and I used to have alot of illusions for him and me but all they were fake dreams. And now that I think all the bad things that I could have done with him it all sounds sooooo bad. Well I hope to see us soon Miya thanks

well i guess he does not sound like he really loved me 4 years ago but he now calls me and he tells me he and he married because he "accidently" got her pregnant but he still feels the same special way for me, but then I ask him "what about your wife" and he does not say anything!!! I dont know if he feels something for her or for me

Yes we sure are very appart from time zones well over here it's barely 6:21 p.m

I know this sounds wrong but I am in love with a guy who is married and has a baby son but I have done nothing wrong with him besides talk with him a couple of times or only see each other once in a while but he's been after me since the time we saw each other after about 4 years without seeing each other. He's been calling me and he's been telling me he's only with his wife for his son and he loves me and he married his wife because he thought he would never see me again but after 4 years he saw me again and he says he loves me like the first time he saw me. I really need help, and I'm only 15 and I SERIOUSLY need to know if somebody cann tell me if there is really such thing as being in love with 2 persons at the same time?????

mysterious gurl are you here????

Thanks I am very confused right now

yeah once a cheater always a cheater

Everything you just said ... doesn't that make you hate him? Look you deserve so much better. Go NC! Get away from him. Think of everything he does that hurts you and how much you deserve better.

 

He's not worth it. Your talking to someone here who understands you, and why? Because I was in a similar situation myself.

You must really understand me because acutally I have kind-of hated him because of all I've been through, well one time I felt as if all the love I had for him had turned into hate, but then he calls me and he tells me he loves me and tells me not to believe anything people tell me

I can see you guys want me to get away from him, but I've tried to but it is very hard especially whenever he's calling me and saying all this beautiful things to me, but I sometimes question myself if he loved me we would not be in this ''dirty relationship" since yesterday his wife caught him on the phone with me, as soon as he finished talking to me his wife got the phone and pressed redial so I answered and she started a big drama today I called him he said she left but I never heard him say something in leaving her forever. it breaks my heart that still he has NO plans in leaving her and taking me serious as he says

Laura I am new here and today I came because I cant handle any more well I have the same problem as you. I am "going out" with a married man and I understand how you feel because I know it seems impossible getting the idea of saying "good bye forever" to him because you love him. And I also know you have the doubt of him taking you seriously. I am in the same situation as you I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

I know this sounds quite bad but "my boyfriend" is married and has a baby son, I dont know what happened but I just fell in love with him a long time ago. Well right now I'm 15..... but 3 years ago I went out with a guy 5 years older than me but the problem was that he was a pimp, he always had alot of girls and he never took girls seriously. I was attracted to him and he was attracted to me but unfortunately he got into a fight with my dad and my dad never let him come back to our house. I loved him soooo much that I cried for him alot. Well time passed and 3 years went by and in December 2005 I finally heard from him!!!!! but the bad thing is that he had married and his wife was going to have a baby shower, so that baby shower night I saw him and he saw me again and I looked at him and he looked at me like whenever we were going out. After a month passed in January he called me at night and told me he still liked me and he wanted to be with me, and I still loved him as the first day but I also had in mind that he was married. But right now i have done absolutely "nothing" bad with him we've only talked on the phone and we've seen each other on partys and other places but I'm going through a very tough part in my life because it's really hard for me to know if he's saying the true about what he tells me whenever he says to me that he wants me seriously, and that he loves me and that he's only with his wife because of his son, and he wants to have me on a serious relation ship and if i come out pregnant he will be responsable but I ask him "what about your wife" and he does not say anything I dont know what to think anymore I dont know if he really's taking me serious or if he still loves me the same way I did and do or if he loves his wife . I need and advice because I dont want to do something and then find out he only wanted my body!!!! PLEASE help me