Deviant_Kate

1. Sexual Behaviour (who do you have sex with?)

2. Sexual Preference (who do you find sexually attractive?)

3. Sexual Identity (what sexuality do you identify as?)

This is at least the second time I've seen this type of thing posted, and it's got me curious about all of you. What is YOUR sexual behavior, preference, and identity (if you don't mind me asking)?

As for me:

1. homosexual

2. bisexual

3. homosexual

p.s. Thank you, Managor! I'd tried the "new topic" button before, and didn't realize that the lists of forums it gave me were so I could choose where to post. I thought it was just redirecting me to other forums as though I wanted to see their new topics.

 

I couldnt think up any good fantassies, is that weird? So I just thought about the last time my boyfriend and I had sex. Eh?

 

What makes you think that doesn't count as a good fantasy? - I LOVE mentally re-living awesome sex-memories It's better and hotter than anything I could make up.

I'm always interested in how people handle their First Time. But... how did you feel afterward? I've always thought I'd spend the day or two afterward just contemplating the experience, and contemplating my new identity as a non-virgin. What was the day after like for all the rest of you?

Just like you think it would be - "Wow...I had sex." I couldn't get over it or stop thinking about it.

Don't give up. Just don't make it about losing your virginity - make it about finding someone who's worthy enough that you would allow them to be in your bed. Get yourself out there! Date! Maybe you'll fall in love with someone and you'll be able to go through the rest of your life knowing that you only shared your body with the love of your life.

My gf has told me that she's really sensitive down there, so will the extra lubrication be enough to fix this? It's seem like she enjoys broader stimulation, like thrusting against my leg as opposed to finger stimulation, but I sort of feel weird having to use my leg to bring her off instead of my hand.

Actually, I have a similar thing - I prefer a more broad type of pressure sometimes (with a hand though, not a leg...). Maybe if you keep your four fingers together to apply pressure to the outside of her labia/vulva, it'd be a way to use your hand and still give her the type of stimulation she prefers? And when you do go for the clitoris, follow the advice of everybody else - lots of lubricant and very gentle pressure. And you can always ask your girlfriend for directions while you're down there.

Oh! As for oral, just lick slower (but vary your pace from time to time), and more with a flattened tongue than with the tip, and try licking more than just the clitoris.

I know he didn't technically rape you, but rape isn't the only thing that's illegal when it comes to sex. I think you should call the police and tell them what happened - be VERY clear about the fact that you were coerced into performing a sex act. He used your fear of getting in trouble with your parents, and he violated you. He shouldn't get away with it.

You're not a fool - you're just a girl who got stuck in a really crappy situation where you felt like you were out of choices. If you can manage it, I think it could do you good to talk to somebody about it.

1-800-656-HOPE is a free confidential call to a national hotline for victims of rape, incest, and sexual abuse. They're there to counsel people over the phone 24 hours a day. They won't push you into telling them anything you don't want to tell them - they're there so you can talk about whatever you need to talk about. If you'd rather, you can go to their website, link removed

I don't know what else to say...but you're not alone.

These girls know what they're talking about. Condoms are a must for anal sex whether or not you've got any STIs/STDs, and so is lubricant. Some companies actually make a special kind of lubricant for anal sex that's thicker and so it provides a little extra protection for your delicate innards.

link removed

There's the "Anal Easy" lube (hey, it's on sale!), and I'm sure there are mutliple other brands on this site.

I was 18. Lol I feel so conservative now

I didn't have actual "intercourse" until I was 19 1/2.

The first time I had sex was with a girl when I was 18.

Oh Come on people. Like it or not this kinda thing is looked at in a different light than if it had been a a 28 year old man doing 12 year old girl . It did happen and yes she "was" married but separated from her husband. Pedofile is a very strong word to be using here also. And I also think that most 17 + year olds here who claim to be virgins are full of cow manure. It's a fact of life, most teenagers lose their virginity before their 16th B-day.

1) Sex with someone under the age of 13 if you're over the age of 18 is, in fact, considered to be pedophilia in the eyes of the law.

2) Only about 50% of teens lose their virginity before they turn 16, and the figure is only at 65% by the 18th birthday - 60% of girls and 70% of guys. ( the Alan Guttmacher Institute, link removed)

Do some research before you make bogus claims that you can't back up.

Don't worry about it. Frankly, I'd love to have a wake-up orgasm on my period - it'd be better than monster cramps.

I don't understand the whole laying on the stomach thing that everyone is talking about...IMO, that would make things difficult...

My recommendation actually comes in the form of a book: What Your Mother Never Told You About S-E-X by Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. She's the co-director for the New York Center for Women's Sexual Health, and she knows her stuff. Page 76-83 covers orgasm and masturbation. It's $14.95 USD new, but you could probably find it on link removed for much less.

Good luck!

(p.s. if you don't want to buy the book but you do want the information, let me know and I'll type up a few passages for you.)

so a real orgasm should include the shaking of the whole body ie trembling? i do have orgasms that include the pelvic muscle contractions but not whole bosy trembling. and to robowarrior: you're saying i should continure to touch my clitoris DIRECTLY even thought i get this unbearable whole body sensation? you mean it'll fade away or strengthen?

girls you opinion on this!

If it's uncomfortable, don't do it. You can always stimulate it through the hood. Or you could try using less pressure. I know exactly what you mean by "unbearable whole body sensation", I end up redirecting my partner's attention to a different location because it's uncomfortable. The clitoris actually extends up toward your belly button (either 1.5 inches or 3 inches or somewhere inbetween), so rubbing what's called the "clitoral shaft" might also be worth a try.

I'm not sure if this website will really be helpful, but it's kind of an FAQ site for sex information. link removed

It's worth a shot!

Maybe he's bisexual in his behavior, but the fact of the matter is, if he says he's gay, then he's gay - There are tons of women who get girl crushes or even have flings with girls, and they still consider themselves straight. Same principle. Whether his behavior agrees with his identity or not, he knows himself better than anyone. You just have to trust him to know who he is.

I havnt got to the swallowing part yet, I wouldnt mind doing it up when ever he gets close he grabs my chin and pulls me up to him, and then he kisses me. O.o Maybe I havnt got him wild enough to full out go in my mouth, so maybe Im doing something wrong, but I dunno

I don't think it's because you're doing anything wrong. Maybe he does it out of respect, or maybe he just really wants to be kissing you when he comes. I think it's kind of sweet.

thanks. I dont understand why she argues with me about it either, my cousin said maybe she likes me and doesn't want me to be anything but straight so it'll be easier to get over me being 9 years younger than she is..and her liking me?

That's very possible. I'm only 22 and I couldn't even consider dating someone your age because (and believe me, I mean NO offense) at sixteen and seventeen, I felt pretty grown up, but I had a LOT of maturing to do still. It would be really difficult to be post-college aged and trying to live a "grown-up" life while trying to date someone who hasn't graduated from high school yet. Relationships (at least for the under 30 crowd) are much easier when the age difference is within 3 years or so. That said, it would be heartwrenching to have feelings for someone nine years younger because of the near certainty of failure if it were to turn into a relationship.

I don't have any actual advice to offer...just a little insight, I guess.

Good luck, SNER0812.

Sorry to respond again, and off topic, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to start a new thread on this site! I'd have asked in a more appropriate fashion, but I obviously don't know how. Can someone please please please send me in the right direction?? Tell me how to start my own thread?

Now, whether they are likewise attracted to you, that is hard to know! YOu should know by a lot of eye contact and touching.

I beg to differ - when my girlfriend and I were just friends, she was the only friend I didn't hug. I was very aware of the fact that we NEVER touched, and we more often than not didn't look in each other's eyes when talking (not out of avoidance; it was just the way we were). We never would have ended up together if I hadn't just come out and told her one night that I was at a serious risk of falling for her.

It helped that she already knew I liked girls, and that I knew she had thought that she might be bisexual. I suppose if you're open with friends that you're questioning your sexuality (bi-curious?), it'll grease some wheels and get you a step or two closer to finding out for yourself.

I wish you luck and fun in figuring it out.

the relationship is a bit complex we arnt bf and gf but we'v had baths together and regularly both sleep in my bed. ill try and offer it in a way that makes it easy for her to say no if she does feel a bit weird about it.

 

thanks for all the help so far. couple more questions:

 

what areas do people particularly like being massaged?

and what sort of scent is good for relaxation?

The upper and lower back hold a lot of tension, and so does the butt and the neck.

Scents - I think lavender is supposed to be a calming scent. Check out the wikipedia link someone gave earlier, and maybe google "massage scents" to find some good suggestions.

But to your topic; a good massage should be from head to feet. Oil is a must, but remember to warm it in your hand before apply it to her body.

Actually, when I'm preparing to give a massage, I put the oil bottle in a bowl of hot water.

I've done some reading on massage, and one thing I remember from my reading is that you should ALWAYS have one hand on the person you're massaging. If you're pouring massage oil into your hand before putting it on her skin, have the hand you're pouring it into laying palm up on her back.

Also, when I give massages, I start with the back and I move to the neck and shoulders, and then massage down the arms all the way to the hands and fingers, massaging toward the tips of the fingers like pushing the tension out the fingertips. I do the same with the legs (down to the toes), but if you two aren't dating, I don't know if she'll be comfortable with a massage that goes below the waist.

You have to use pressure in a massage for it to be effective, but it's important not to use too much pressure. The key in finding the right level of pressure is simply trying things out and asking her "does that feel okay? I'm not pressing to hard, am I?"

I've found that on the back, circular pressure with fingertips or thumbs goes over pretty well from the lower back all the way up (in small oval shaped rotations, the size of a bar of soap, perhaps).

Also, if she's comfortable with it, dim lighting (candles are great) and soothing music help in the relaxation process.

Wow, I talk a lot...I hope I helped!

Suicidal threats and cutting himself in front of you is some SERIOUS manipulation - one of the most glaring signs of an abusive relationship. He doesn't have to beat you to abuse you.

Don't let his suicide threats stop you from breaking up with him. He's only saying it to get what he wants - he doesn't actually mean it. If he's too good for his job, he obviously thinks the world of himself, so there's no way he's actually suicidal.

Your job is to take care of YOU, to do whats best for yourself. You're not his parent, you don't have to take care of him or protect him.

If you break up with him and he threatens YOU, call the police as soon as possible. Don't get stuck in a bad relationship. You're too young to have to deal with anything this crappy - you should be out having fun.

Paige, I think the first thing you need to do is change the order or activities during sex. DO NOT start out by giving him head. Make that be the second thing you do - make the FIRST thing you guys do be him going down on you. If it's the only way to get things started, he'll start doing it just to get what he wants, OR he'll really start to understand how important it is to you.

Make oral sex the golden ticket. If he isn't willing to give it to you, put up a No Trespassing sign.

I no longer believe in Christianity, but I am exploring my faith in who God is to me. I choose to believe that God is true love, and everyone has a purpose. He/she/it didn't make us to damn us.

Bravo! I love it when people have true faith in something, but I seriously hate Christianity because of how hypocritical and hateful it makes people. I have so much respect for everything you just said.

my girlfriend and I are both pretty femenine. We're not Barbie, but we most certainly don't do mullets, flannel, or anything else that's stereotypically butch. Straight people never suspect that we aren't one of them.

Since the gender roles are kind of thrown out the window a little when you're in a same-sex relationship, the person who initiates sex is either the less shy person in the couple (if there is one), or just the person who happens to want to have sex at the moment. There isn't really a sexual script for same-sex couples like there is for opposite-sex couples.

As to the length of the sex, it really depends on the women, and sometimes on the act. The great thing is, women have a little more control over how long it lasts. Since most lesbian sex acts (in my experience) involve one person at a time stimulating the other, you can take your time and not have to worry about things like premature ejaculation.

I'm not 100% sure what else you might be asking, but if you want to send me a private message, I'm pretty open about sex-related stuff (when it's not being posted on a forum read by dozens of people). I'll answer whatever I can.

I was an asexual teenager until after high school, so I never really had to question my sexuality until I was eighteen. Even then, the only reason I ever had to question my sexuality is because my best friend told me she was in love with me. I told her I needed some time to think about what she told me, and after a week of thinking, I realized I was in love with her.

Of course, she cheated on me with a guy and we parted ways. Lets just say the name I have for her would show up like this: ***** *****.

It was a horrible couple of months, but it woke me up in terms of my sexuality. I'm bisexual as far as crushes go, but as far as relationships are concerned, I'm totally homo. I might never have realized it if it weren't for that horrible girl.

one of my friends did this to my best friend david (he's gay, im not) and she also kept asking him if he and i were together. she knows that he's christian and kind of threw it in his face about christianity doesnt support gays and it really hurt him.

Maybe he should check out link removed

I'm not religious, but I've used it for papers for school (regarding reasons for homophobia, etc.), and I think it had some stuff about how the Bible didn't originally say anything about homosexuality being wrong - just that it was wrong for straight people to perform homosexual acts, and that homosexual prostitution and the molesting of boys by men is wrong.