pablovblack

Hey man, No theres nothing wrong at all with these little setbacks, I have had one this weekend, the first one in about 3 months, and yeah its thrown me off track because my ex turned up a party for my Dads Girlfriends 40th, the doors came opening again and Im questioning everything...

Yeah I still love her, and I just dont know what to do.

We have them, its just knowing what to do, unfortunately I dont.

Hang in there.

Dont be too hard on this guy, people can change and this is a fact. I know because I did. If you still have feelings for him give him 1 chance.

Ok, So me and my ex broke up 6 months ago nearly to the day, she had had enough of me becuase I never appreciated her, I was always too busy with my friends etc etc, we was in love yes very much but I forced her away, we was together for 5 and a half years from the ages of 18 and 15 to 23 and 20.

I came to these boards after finding them and they helped immensley but after time I managed to wean myself off them and never came back because I knew I was getting better and reading posts here set me back, i.e. It was no longer the "safe" place I mention in my past posts.

Anyway its been six months and my Dads girlfriend had her 40th birthday party this weekend and my dads band played as the entertainment with me doing vocal dutys.. anyway I come off the stage and my mates says, you'll never believe who's here, yep my ex was stood in the crowd with 3 of her friends.

Now we havent said a word since we split up she kind of tried to block me out, but there she was at my Dads GFs 40th, I didnt speak to her cos I was terrified, It was like seeing a ghost and even weirder because she would always be at the music gigs when we was together.

So just when I think Im doing well, and I really believe I was getting there.. It was like resurecting the pain and anxiety feelings and I found myself driving round last night looking for answers in my head, something I havent done for 4 months...

But guys why did she come, yeah I think she was invited but she was hardly a "good" friend of my dads girlfriend, she only knew her becuase of me...

So yeah as usual Ive got the thoughts back, why did she come, what did she want, reconcile???? I dont know... All I know is that I still love her, still want to be her Boyfriend when I convinced myself I didnt and now I want to call/her email her.

Can anyone throw some light on the subject or at least offer some advice or an explaination. bearing in mind I sent her the sweetest 21st birthday card 2 months ago..

Thanks all.

awww...you poor thing! very nicley written.

Cheers chick, dont worry I dont feel so down anymore, I wrote this one months ago and thought I would post it.

She is replaceable, it just takes time to realise that.

Explain to me why my love is no longer warranted here

Why I cannot simply say hi or give you a piece of my heart

How can you water your plants sir when I feel this way

How can you swallow your food whole when I cannot down a slither

Show me the gods that took my world and stripped it of you

They are no match for me and my new competent mind

How can you read the news like yours is more important than mine

Surely my news is more important than yours, its mine

Tell me why I have become dissolved inside myself

Believe me when I say I have the will to succeed, but not the heart

How can you be upset when you crashed your car, an earth element of no fixed emotion

How can you tell people what I was like when I died when your heart died too

But most importantly,

How the F * * K am I going to replace you.

this was a very refreshing post...

rejection causes depression and discouragment. He wont be the last, but you have to make sure he wont be. Dont let one person ruin the rest of your life. Even after just finding out that someone who has caught your eye, doesnt respond with the same feelings is enough to take the wind out of your sail. It will take a little time, but staying away is the best remedy.

 

But believe me, just hang out somewhere and look available, a guy will be looking, single guys are almost always looking. But dont look desperate. Be inviting... if someone catches your eye, smile back. Help with the flow...

 

hope I helped... im bad with my life, but others I can help

hey man,tell me about your band.... i'm in a band too..... i sing and play guitar..... cool stuff... a

and i'm glad your getting there bro....

I think your poem is wonderful, Its is very fluent.

Plus her away message last night said "when will you stop haunting my every thought?" Could it be me she's talking about???

I would say yes, it is about you, but thats my humble naked opinion.

Thanks guys thats very kind!

This Womans Work - Kate Bush (Check this out)

Thank You - Led Zeppelin

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

Nobody Knows - Tony Rich Project

I woke up again this morning to the same bad dream

Or should I say my new life

Removed of its greatest piece

The piece that held an insecure fool together for so long

What do you think of in the morning

Do I cross your fluffy mind

Or have a melted in this summer heat we are having

like a snowman stood at your door rolled in the wrong season

When you look up at the stars and analyze the sky

Do you wonder if it was ever meant to be

When you eat microwave dinners do you see my sat with my tray

I can see you as clear as the day

There really is one thing that I want you to know

That I would give my earth to have your mascara smudges back on my pillow

I miss you monkey.

She has someone else now to make her feel good on her birthday, and at the end of the day it isn't me.

There you go thats all you needed to say, Good luck.

Yeha I think giving it to a friend to pass on is a good idea.

Good for you HPSOWCE, Thats hat I did this afternoon, I managed to make myself cry and i feel so much better for it.

Well done, I answered my own question after carriying it out.

Let me chime in, My ex was my first Girlfriend together for 5 years and 3 Months, She left me three months ago and her birthday is in 1 month, She is 21... If I do not get her a card to wish her well on her 21st I will never forgive myself, I love her more than she will ever know, More so now we are not together as I understand her more. She deals with things by not facing them head on and thereforeeee she shut me out, But that does not mean I dont want to wish her Happy Birthday, I know she would appreciate it even if she doesnt want me in her life. She will always remember me doing it and I think it takes a man to be able to offer you congratulations without expecting anything back in return.

On the 26th of August my ex will get a card from me her first boyfriend and I will not expect anything in return, Why should I, she left me and it was my fault. Im not bitter, just wanting to wish her some thanks and to remind her why she loved me and why I loved her in the first place cos you cant take that away...

Im just not bitter anymore, its her 21st, what kind of man would I be to pretend she doesnt exist and pretend that I no longer care, I would just be fooling myself.

CRVRS: Do what is in your heart but do it on your own terms and expectations....

what are you depressed about bro?

You summed it up perfectly. Thanks very much.

Ok for the past 4 days I have had the massive urge to cry but it just hasnt happened yet, its been there waiting to just come out and its making me hurt.

Now I'm sat at work and I want to just get this stuff out so I'm going home for lunch and I am going to get a photo out with her on it. I want to know if this seems like a good idea because I know it will break me down and help me get this out..

But my question? will it set me back is it a bed idea and make me more upset any ideas/help will be appreciated.

Im just having a little set back thats all its now been 3 months 2 weeks since we broke up, I miss her so much and everything, but I can live without her and I'm moving forward but its just one of those little emotional twists which should be gone soon.

From what you said, It is up to you now to do the reconnecting, as it was you who did the No Contact in the first place, this guy is probably most terrified of being left in a hole again.

I personally would say option Number (2), But how long was you together before you started NC and what was the break up terms.

excellent post thanks very much, Its about 3 months and 2 weeks for me since my relationship of 5 years ended, I cried and I had a relapse this morning... Tis true you will never forget!

My story is quite like CRVRS, I too got to the point where I thought the grees is green and began to neglect the relationship to a point where I thought I could handle being without her, of course I couldn't after a few days because I realised then ho wmuch she meant to me. I also took her for granted and after a while she had, had enough. Its been 3 months she hasnt contacted me and I dont think for one moment that she will.

I love her more now because I understand her, which is kind of ironic.

Oh well.. gotta keep on keeping on.

- I took her for granted

- I took her for granted

- I took her for granted

I would do anything to change what I did. I've learned.

yeah i feel you people.. had a little relapse this morning where i wanted to write her a letter... didn't do it though because it wont work that and she doesnt * * * *ing deserve a letter..

try living 5 minutes walk away from your ex..

If I look out of my window I can see a street lamp, If she looks out of hers she can see it too... Although we are broken up after 5 years this feels like a spine of her world connected to mine....

Painful to say the least.