Backstroke03

I like where your head is at Spunk -- all of these are top notch ideas.

Thanks.

Sounds like you are in the clear to me -- go for it and enjoy.

I'm going away on business for a week, and wanted to send my girlfriend something while I was away, just to let her know I'm thinking about her.

She likes flowers, but I feel that I do it a lot, so I'm trying to think a little more out of the box this time. She's good at coming up with sweet things for me all the time, and want to do the same. Any suggestions?

Don't say anything -- keep your one and one time with her as it is, don't overstep or push your way into another conversation. Just let it play out, if you are talking to this girl and things are going well they will develop natuarlly, you don't need to force group conversation.

Just let it flow and things will take care of themselves.

Agree with everything that is said here.

If she was the "one", this would not be an issue.

I need some help here are something i need help with:

1. if she doesn't like me like that will that completely scew over our friendship? --- Maybe, but if you go about it the right way it might not be completely awkward. See below.

2. how should i go about asking? --Keep it as casual as possible. You say you've been friends, but do you talk on the phone, online, in person? Pretty much I'd keep the communication as normal as possible, example if you only talk online then don't call to ask her out. Just throw it into the conversation, asking her if she'd like to see a movie or grab something to eat (the activity itself is arbitrary)

3. should i schedule a movie to go see or just show up and see whats playing? Schedule the day, if it works out, but don't go nuts with the planning/itinerary. Again just play it casual, ask if she'd like to see a movie, and then let the conversation go from there. Ask her when she is free and then see what your option are. Just make it as laid back as possible.

4. should i put my arm around her? Play to the situation, I really can't answer that for you. Without knowing the girl, that's really hard to answer. Hopefully her body language will give you clues.

5. will she go with me just out of shear pity? (cause thats the last thing i want, id rather her just go ahead and say no then force her) --If this idea is in your head, don't even ask. Sorry to be blunt, but you can't enter into this date with pessimistic thoughts. Don't be cocky either, but realize that you have good things to offer in a potential relationship. If she says yes, she did so for a reason, and take that as a good thing.

Best of luck to you.

Agreed, you are clear. Nothing to worry about -- sounds like you are very careful, which is a good thing.

Agreed experience is huge. My longevity is way more than it was ten years ago. I know this is a corny thing, but think about baseball. Works for me at least.

I dont look people in the eye very much. I get shy a lot.

 

When someone is looking me dead in the eyes i feel really awkward and confronted. If i really really like someone and they are looking at me... i get really really shy. But thats just me

 

 

Agree with this, some people feel too much eye contact is confrontational. I wouldn't read more into it, and just see where this takes you. Sounds like a promising start.

 

 

Good luck.

IMO the definition of sex is too blurry. I've been wondering what defines it too. I've heard some people say there's a difference between sexual activity and sex. But I think I've blurred the line between those 2 things too. I thought all sexual activity could be considered some form of sex.

This is why I asked, and it's blurry because everyone has different definitions as we see in this thread.

I agree if someone asked me if I had sex with person X and it was only oral I'd say no, but let's be real -- if you received/gave oral to someone you've blown way past the "hooking up" stage too.

No one is grilling me -- my current girlfriend probably doesn't care at all -- we are both adults don't dwell on these things. I'm not going for a plan of attack, I'm very upfront with my history as I have nothing to hide, I just like to hear what people have to say about different life situations, it's the sociology student in me.

And it wasn't what to answer, always answer honest, it was what number people are looking to hear.

I'm just throwing the question out there, this has nothing to do with virginity, I guess when someone asks you -- Did you have sex with person X, what constitutes the act? If you had oral but not intercourse, what's the answer there?

RayKay your definition was pretty much what I was getting at as mine, you phrased it much better than I did.

So you two don't consider anal as sex?

It's a Seinfeld bit, he jokes once the nipple makes an appearance.

But in all seriousness, what/how much has to happen for you to consider it sex?

Personally I think if one (hopefully both) of the people come to climax through whatever means sex has taken place.

How long were you together before the distance became a factor. I had an LDR that worked in the past, but we were together over 2 years before the distance came into play. Need a very strong foundation for it to work in my opinion.

Just outright ask her to be your exclusive girlfriend

Went with this strategy -- I'm a blunt person so it matches my personality. Worked out well, she's into it, we basically talk everyday so not much is going to change in that regard besides the "title." I think as long as the delivery comes with confidence the verbage is not significant, how I exactly phrase it isn't going to be the dealbreaker, she had impression made of me at that point anyway.

Anyway thanks for the help - always appreciated.

Thanks RK for sharing, perfect example of how these situations are unique to each couple.

I'm going to see her tonight, and probably a lot in the future, so no need to rush it. I'm sure it will find a way to present itself.

I personally think that like in your last relationship you should go with the flow and work hard to make meets end.

Right, and I kinda agree, but still when do you make that first move and refer to her as your girlfriend? It's gotta happen eventually.

I know these situations are often unique in and of themselves, but I'd like to hear some experiences about how some of you took that leap from dating to a full blown relationship. I'm currently seeing someone a lot, we've spent the last month or so getting together at least twice a week and talk pretty much everyday. I saw her the past two days and we are going out tonight to cap the holiday weekend.

I feel we are ready to make that jump to committment, but just not sure how phrase it or bring it up I guess. (my last relationship lasted 4 years, and in all honestly I don't even remember how I approached this, it just kinda happened)

So anyway, for those of you in relationships now, how'd you bridge that gap from the courting stage to the relationship?

Everything listed above is great -- but the biggest key to getting abs or vascular in general is cardio and diet. It all makes a big difference.

Dude don't worry about it. When I was 13 I was 6'2 and had size 15 feet. (I'm now 25 and am 6'2 with size 15 feet). Anyway you'll grow into your body, get comfortable and be just fine. Having some size has it's real advantages down the road.

It's weird how when writing this topic I seemd to totally forget that a few months before this when I was in town I was getting quite a bit of eye contact from women. No smiles though.

 

So, anyone going to try this test or what?

Gave it a shot at the gym today just for the hell of it, especially since it's not much different than how I normally act anyway. Got some smiles back, little small talk, nothing more or less than you'd expect. Didn't pursue it any further than friendly conversation about the weekend and such, but can see how you could parlay it into something more if you were so inclined.

To be fair this is probably an easier setting to pull off than at a store or in the street, since we aren't really moving around and in closer quarters, but have to think the same ideas apply.

You could do some more functional training, like pullups with varied grips, especially coming in narrow to target the biceps. Personally I use all free weight movement to hit my biceps and shoulders (varied curls and raise movements) but it can be done without it. Might be worth a shot to cycle some weights in for 8 weeks, then go back to more of a core program that you mentioned. My body responds well to constant change in the workout.

 

So i try to run without music or anything and wow...i hate it...i hate it so much, so the easy answer to my problem is an Ipod. But being a guy i don't want one of those dinky nano ones that only hold 4 gigs and are built for work outs...oh no...i want that beastly 60 gig video ipod with room for 17,500 songs and a bajillion hours of video. Problem is i don't know how well it will stand up to being run with...does anybody use them to run with? If so what problems have you had?

Man we think the same way, and I hate to break it to you, I broke an IPod doing this. Basically the guy at Apple told me the traditional Ipods have movable parts, and are not made to be run with, it's no different than running with a computer in your hands.

Had to breakdown and get the Shuffle to supplement my real Ipod, which I agree looks ridiculous in my hands but it's better than busting another one.

If the sex is happening in reality, what's the need to fantasize? I'm thinking about my significant other in real time and what attraction I have to them.