markm

Well just a little update I guess.

I posted that last Friday (St. paticks day) she texts me twice about how someting made her think of me and she asked if I was doing well/having fun.

That was at about 9pm just before she went out I guess.

Well, yesterday I found out from one of her friends that The new guy broke it off with her again (3rd time now) on St. Pattys Night.

This was because Karen told his ex that he was a "bad seed" and smokes to much weed, etc.

And of course his ex (that he has a kid with) told him all about it. (LOL, idiot)

This was right after he got thrown out of some bar.

So yesterday (Sunday), I get 2 emails from her.

One Email was a joke, which was mass mailed to other people at the same time.

I told her not to send me jokes anymore a couple of weeks ago.

Then a second email that said,

"Just wanted to know if you went to the comedy show and if it was fun.

I hate that you don't keep in touch once in a while" - Karen

Well, it makes me feel kind of good when she contacts me, but it pisses me off too.

I told her not to call me, text me, etc. and she does anyway.

I'm trying to heal and when she does this it makes me fall back a few steps.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to see her or call her, but I am just sticking to the NC.

But I sure wish we had another chance together, even though it is the wrong thing.

I havent contacted her in just over 2 weeks!

She has text me quite a bit, but I just ignore her. And of course last weekend she came over with her family, unexpectedly.

Should I respond to any of her messages?

I'd agree. You're a sweet, great looking guy! Get out there!

Thanks.

I've been going out a lot lately.

I hate just sitting at home so I go out as much as I can with my my friends.

I know this will be REALLY hard, but it seems like maybe you should move away from this site. It seems to keep you talking and thinking about her. Almost like a way to keep her in the forefront, when, after this amount of time, she should be a memory. You both did things wrong, you both did things right. Try to accept this and move on. You seem like you're trying to 'keep the dream alive' by re-hashing over and over again on here.

 

You're a great guy- get out there and prove it to someone who deserves it!!

Thanks.

I just wanted to make sure people understood the situation more clearly.

It has only been 3 weeks since our breakup.

Every time you contact her, she wins and you lose. She wants to keep you at her disposal, don't be her pet!

 

RC

Damn right!

That is what my ex is doing to me right now!

She is with another guy (which is killing me btw) and she still texts me once in a while.

I'm sure part of her misses me and wants to keep me in her life is some way.

It is so tempting to text back or call to visit, etc.

But all that will happen is she'll feel like I'm still there for her and shoot me down and I'll just feel worse than I did before.

N/C is the only way we gain power over them.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

Make her miss you!

Stick with N/C.

I know it's hard, trust me I know!

But, I'll be doing it with you.

Smart Man Mark! How 'bout them Wild Cats!!!

 

RC

LOL. I hate Cats, I'm a Sun Devil! ASU!

N/C is the only way.

That is why she came to visit you in the first place.

N/C drove probably drove her nuts

And that is why she came over.

But she saw that you still wanted her she felt better herself and just wanted to "be friends".

Now you feel worse.

I am on 2 weeks of NC and my ex is already involved with another guy.

She texts me every once in a while, and I just ignore it.

I know that if I text her back she'll feel like I'm still around for her.

N/C is the only way to enpower yourself, keep it up, I am.

Thank you for speaking so highly of me.

But, I didn't show her all the love I had to offer.

I often held it back.

When she moved back from Colorado to live with me (again) I became weary.

I barely snuggled with her.

I would sleep on the opposite side of the bed from her.

I remember waking up in the morning with her and I would just get out of bed. I wouldn't roll over and snuggle at all.

And I knew this all bothered her.

I wish I could do it all over again, and change all that.

But, I did it for a reason I guess. I didn't want to get hurt, becuase I felt that if I become too emotionally involved with her she could hurt me.

And I didn't want to be hurt again. So I kept my distance.

All in all, I just didn't want to wear my heart on my sleave and get hurt, and I had some commitment issues about her.

Now, this is all because of past issues.

2 years ago she broke it off with me and started dating another guy.

Well, I fought like hell to get her back.

She was living in Colorado and I fought like hell to fly there to get her back.

Each time I flew up to Colorado we would get along so well and have sex and it was great.

BUT! The other guy would visit too! And she would cave in and fool around with him too!

This happened a few times and I just kept taking it.

So when she finally moved back to Arizona to be with me, she kept in contact with him which made matters horrible.

For 3 months I was always snuggling with her and loving her, but she would never love me back.

After 3 months of that we finally became close again and she really wanted to be together.

But, her next assignment was in Colorado again.

She said she was gonna move right back after the Colorado assignment was done in 3 months.

But I was pissed because I just figured the other guy would visit her and I'd have to go thru all that hell again.

Well, he never did. She did end it with him and really showed she wanted to be with me.

So she moved right back to Arizona to be together again.

Well, I just held so many grudges against her that I didn't give this time around much of a chance.

That is why I acted the way I did!

Don't get me wrong, we did have many many good times together.

We spent all our time together.

I was always loyal to the core.

I was always there for her, always supportive of her, and would have done anything for her. And she knows that.

GREAT job on the NC! Two weeks is rough. Good luck to you- just keep looking forward

Thanks.

Well, after almost a week she text me tonight.

Twice actually.

"Saw 944 Magazine, thought of you! Hope you are having fun!"

Then 20 miutes later, almost the identical message,

"Saw 944 Magazine, thought of you! Hope you are doing well!"

I'm not responding.

I wish she would quit it though.

Makes it that much harder to move on.

Well, let the NC go on!

I'm sure she'll come back.

But she sounds like a nut.

I would run if I were you.

Now, if I would only use my own advice.

Well at least I have been maitaining NC.

I havent contacted her in about 2 weeks. (wow can't believe it)

She has called me once and left a message that I didn't return.

And she texted me at about 5 times, and I didn't respond to any of those either.

But that was last week, and since Sunday she hasn't contacted me at all.

So at least I've got that going for me.

Mark...your thread history is up in plain site. You first started coming here in 2003, because she had left you. You then put another thread when it happened again. And then we have this thread, where the same thing is happening...again.

 

Let's just say, you've gotten a tremendous amount of feedback on basically one issue...more feedback than any other poster I've seen, to be honest, if you add it all up. And yet here we still are...three years later.

Well we always ended up getting back together.

But, those times I chased her and worked hard to get her back and it worked.

This time I'm not contacting her at all.

M&M, U been going through this 4 3 years? I mean, coming on here about the SAME girl? Wow, man...wow.

 

Nothing wrong with U, I just didn't realize that she put U through all this.. coming on here, etc. 4 3 years.

 

Maybe U should seek out a professional...some one on one with a pro would do U some good, I bet.

 

Just give it a thought, man. You'll learn things that can help U, and then U can come on here and help us with your new knowledge, as well.

 

-Solo34

LOL, wait a minute!

I came on her over a year ago about some problems back then.

But they were resolved.

I just got back to this site a few weeks ago when she broke it off.

couseling? jeez.

I think maybe when I have her I don't really want her, but I don't want anyone else to have her either.

Kind of sick, eh?

It's been such an up and down relationship that was so challenging and I guess I got addicted to it.

There were so many things about her that bothered me.

She drove me nuts!

But all of a sudden I forget how all those bothersome things made me feel.

Perhaps my ego is just hurt.

Even when I felt I didn't want her, just knowing she wanted me made me feel OK.

The minute I felt she didn't want to be with me, I would get all worried and cave.

I think our whole relationship was based on who was in power, sort of speak.

Addicted? yeah I guess I am. I just can't figure out why.

I guess I always felt she was my girl.

The weirdest thing is that I was contemplating breaking it off with her for a while now. In fact, sometimes I couldn't wait to get rid of her.

I would play it out in my head by wondering how I would feel if she left and we broke it off.

I felt that I was ready and it wouldn't bother me much.

Well, when she moved out I felt sad but a bit relieved.

And, I wasn't in a big hurry to have her move back.

But, the instant she told me she started seeing someone I freaked out!

All of a sudden I wanted to be with her and I felt like I love her and can't live without her, etc.

Why did that happen?

I think she could've came by with her family and all that because they were probably asking "How's M&M doing?" and all that.

 

Maybe she didn't have the guts 2 say that she's not with U anymore. If the parents really dig U, that might just be it. I mean she could've just said that U had things 2 do, so that's why U weren't with them, etc.

 

Just my thoughts, I'm not sure...just a hypothesis. Of course, this is if the family DOESN'T know that U 2 aren't 2gether...if they DO know, then I'm just as lost as U are. If they know, maybe she thought that by bringing her family around U that it would make U want 2 be around her?

 

-Solo34

They already knew we weren't together.

Yo, M&M...her name is "writegirl," not "whitegirl" homie...Haha.

 

But I'm in the position myself of knowing that my ex is with another man now. It hurts, and it hurts BIG time. At least my ex was mature and kind enough 2 just leave me alone. She didn't do ANY of the things that yours has done.

 

Take care, M&M.

 

-Solo34

LOL, oops.

Yeah, no kidding!

Whats up with her texting me and visiting me unannounced with her family last weekend.

Well, I haven't heard from her since last Saturday night when she text me about "how nice it was to see me and her family enjoyed seeing me", etc.

But, I'm sure she'll contact me again.

And when she does, I'm gonna tell her to just leave me alone.

markm believe everyone here, you are a great guy, you're nice, handsome.. you deserve someone better than her! what have you seen in her? why not lady bugg or natalie?

im getting tired of your posts but i enjoy reading the thread anyway man: good luck

 

(well, i must admit i seem crazy too.. i've my own drama.. lolz but im finally seeing the light)

Thanks writegirl.

I appreciate your support.

Sorry this post has been soooo long, repetitive, and yes....tiring, lol.

I have some rough nights knowing she is with another guy.

But, I just have to set my emotions asided and realize this is for the best.

She was a nice girl to spend time with, but she lacks many things needed for a serious productive relationship.

I should have ended it much earlier but I was affraid too.

unfortunately, this prolonged our relationship and now I think I just miss her due to familiarity.

It is just hard to understand how she can just go from me to another man so quickly.

That is one big reason I should be thankful this happened now and not after we got married, *whew*.

It would be easier if she was a mean nasty person. But instead she is very sweet and nice.

However, she is very weak minded, lacks common sense, and can just move to any guy that is "nice" to her.

Well, I think the "nice, sweet, & week minded" combination is more dangerous than "mean and nasty"

I constantly think over and over that I could have acted differently, been nicer at times, etc.

But the truth is that I read all the warnings and I understood that I should not get too close to her because she is capabale of doing the things that she is doing right now.

Do not think about it!!!!!!!!!!

 

Remember, we all know the current bf is a jerk, from what I have read, he probably won't do anything for her at all and if you ask me (which you haven't) she deserves the grief she is going to get from dating him.

 

So, again, forget her (easier said than done) and live your life for you, do what's going to make you happy.

Well, I'm sure he'll do something for her.

Anyway, it's just gonna take a little time to move on.

But, make no mistake about it, I AM moving on.

Yeah, I know.

Her birthday is next week.

Pisses me off that some other guy is gonna do all the "make her feel special" stuff with her. Ugh!

Oh well, he also has to put up with her lack of brains too. LOL.

Well, today kind of sucked.

I'm still letting go in the sense that I am maintaining N/C and given up on the whole thing.

I also realize that she is not good for me in the long run.

But, Damn! I can't stand that she is with another guy!

I can't stop thinking about it! Makes me feel like hell.

This would be so much easier if we had just broke up and she was just hanging with her girlfriends.

She is so giddy about this guy, jeez.

Hopefully, he'll continue to be a slimeball and sleep around with other chicks. LOL.

I just hope I don't run into them.

I can't begin to imagine what my reaction would be. It would be real ugly.

This sucks. ](*,)

Thanks MarkM, I appreciate it....I hope that day comes soon where I can look back and laugh Time will tell I suppose, I just miss her, I spent most of the night thinking about "how can I get her back?", should I call her, almost convincing myself that she'd like to here from me, or course she would right....I kicked that thought around, but didn't act on it...long night I must say, thanks again and sorry about your situation, heartbreak is a bad deal....I think I've done all I could to get another shot with my ex, I don't know what else to do....thanks.

 

OCD

Don't do anything.

As a matter of fact, let go.

It feels good to let go.

You can't "do" anything to change the situation anyway.

All you can do is make it worse.

Thanks Solo....those are points that we should follow. Although I'm having a rough day today, I'm sure we've all woken up on the wrong side of the bed. I did today, just an overwhelming feeling of missing my ex. Haven't had that in quit sometime now. I guess chalk it up to a bad day, and hopefully tomorrow will be better. I just couldn't stop thinking about here last night and this morning, how to get her back, should I call her, etc....even though I know it wouldn't do any good. So I'm coming here to vent yet again....hopefully someone will tell me to not do anything, etc...it's just always good to hear, thanks guys for your help....I'm hoping one day I just get over her, but I still love her...argh!

 

OCD

No worries.

Just remember we ALL feel like you.

We are all in this together.

You will have your ups and downs.

But, eventually you will forget all about this and move on.

When that day comes you'll look back and wonder what the fuss was all about and almost laugh.

Hard to imagine now, but it's true.

Hang in there!

I am hanging in there with you.

My girl broke up with me on my B-day and is all involved with another guy!

Just think of me when you are down in the dumps.

Haha...Hey if that's what I got 2 be 2 make a "Love Connection" between U 2, why not?

 

-Chuck..er...Solo34

I wish 8-)

Thank you Mark smart on top of cute

 

Seriously...I really HOPE you mean this. We all would love to see you finally put this ungrateful woman behind you, and find soemone who deserves you.

 

Best in all!!!

Thanks Lady!