normal man

I think that the world we live in doesn't instil enough value for patience. We're all so oriented with getting things now that we don't understand the virtues of waiting for something.

 

Credit cards

Fast Food

Get rich quick schemes

Diet Pills

A cigarette buzz

et al.

 

That is why this is so challenging. You can all do this, just be strong and know that if you really want it, there is a long road. It always helps to see why the road seems so long, keep pespective.

She is set to move a large distance from me in a month. I feel as if i dont have time, possibly because i feel i have to stop her from goign cause that will be the final straw to the end.

Possible that im exagerating and over hyping how i think shes moving on to never look back with this move

I was doing so well all last week with limited contact. Saw her out last night and we talked, she cried, we talked, I held her consoled her. She was drinking during the night so maybe thats why she let me get semi-close. I sort of did a dick thing cause my emotions were nuts, i made her come in my house to "talk" while talking i made my advances and we had sex, probably worst sex we have ever had together.....I drove her home and she told me she was moving in with 2 girls from work cause she needed a new start farther away from our hometown. We talked today and she was upset about last night and didnt know what to say. I lost it again today and called her work several times to talk and plead, which pissed her offf beyong beleif...strange to say but i felt like i couldnt help calling and basically pleading for her not to move. She responded to one of my "why why why" type emails with I have to let you go. It's not fair to you letting u hang on. I told u how I feel and I still mean it, but I dont knwo whats good for me know and i need to figure it out.

Im done....sorry i think i might have posted this in another thread also...

Mine came back. He's been back for about 10 months now. Things did not really work out, and I'm wondering why I wanted him back in the first place. The same old problems that caused the breakup initially are back, only amplified. He's leaving in October. This decision was mutual and I can't wait to start my life on my own.

Kiss my butt for letting people in and out of your life so easily

I hate you for not wanting him back and saying he will never have a shot. I hate you for saying you have to move forward. I hate you that you said you have to move forward apart. I HATE U!

Well not you really but my woman anyways. She left me and is creating a new life for herself with moving in with new friends she just made and is so set on figuring out what SHE needs to do and has left me at the curb as im trash.

Hell i respect someone who knows whats not right for them, but for now I hate her for it. She was all i had in my life and she decided to ditch me and leave me in the dust.

She told me i just am afraid of rejection and that im afraid to not have someone and thats why im going crazy without her, maybe she is right but all i know is that all i want is my GIRL.

My posts are angry and many these days, i apologize. they're probably not the most readable either, since it's my venting ground and nothing else

Im so sorry about that man I really am. Knowing you're in pain has me feeling worse about myself for what I did to my ex's ex boyfriend when I started dating her. I was never in the shoes of loving someone and them starting to date someone else so I didnt know any better. Maybe me apologizing to you will somehow eliminate the bad karma coming back for me.

Her ex contacted her through IM and she told me about it thinking I might have talked to him and gave it to him. That is why she told me, not for me to be a dick to him. Anyways i took it my own way and figured he was up to his old ways of trying to get her back so I IM'd him from my own AIM and gave him a peiece of my mind. Almost as if i was getting tough with him, when he was being totally nice in how he was writing back to me. I'm kind of embarashed and ashamed and deeply sorry to him for hom I handled it. Wish I could turn back the clock and not do it, or atleast apologize to him....both arnt available to me though.

Sorry man for being "that guy" that took ya girl away

stop emailing.

 

see if he calls.

 

If he is serious about anything, he will pick up the phone

yes do that. You might be looking into his flirting to deeply. You dont want to set yourself up for another major let down and have to grieve all over again ( low selfesteem and all that nonsense)

maybe im bitter cause I had a bad night and day with my ex, read my need quick advice post if you'd like, but i feel for you abut having feelings for this girl man.

From an outsider it looks like you should just appreciate being away from the drama of not being caught up with a girl who is confused and doesnt know what she wants, but it's so hard....if anyone i understand.

while it's good getting advice here I just realized you have to be critical of peoples advice on actual feelings and such. Only good advice on this breaking up board is the NC threads.

You're asking advice from a majority of people that have had their OWN hearts broken by being dumped. They are sensitive to you as you saw peoples comments to you leaving your woman the first time. I myself cant give great advice cause im in a heartbreak and am now loooking at things through emotional goggles.

she was out with a friend that hangs out with my friends. Saw her last, made her come talk to me, she was drinking. I had her in my car talking and she was crying about how she cant and that she loved me and all. Than she dropped a bombshell on me that she signed a lease to move 30mins away from where she was living with her father. She's moving in december with a girl from work that she just got close with when we broke up and one of that girls friends.

We ended up sleeping together. I was pushing for it and she was saying no but than gave in. BIGGEST mistake ever. It didnt faze her cause today i called and couldnt convince her not to move and that it would split us forevere and there would never be a chance.

Im back to square one with pleading and hurting.

talked to her again today and she said :

I NEED TO LET YOU GO. THIS ISN'T FAIR TO YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'D EXPECT ME TO SAY OR WANT ME TO SAY. I TOLD YOU HOW I FELT ALSO...AND WHAT I SAID STILL STANDS, HOWEVER I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME ANYMORE AND THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT.

I'LL TALK TO YOU SOME OTHER TIME, NOT NOW.

Im a guy myself and I dont know why he would say he isnt sure if it is over yet but I eveluate it when a woman says this to me and i think she feels that if she gives me the cold honest truth that she is totally closing the door because now she thinks ill hate her and be angry towards her cause she was so blunt about it. In reality it's just her cutting the case and goign forward with her decision and not being indecisive about it.

I was too excited about my new job so I called her at work. She talked to me and when i made assumptions about her moving on with someone else and assumtions that she didnt miss me I guess She said no she didnt say that. I probbaly shouldnt have said things such as that because it's almost putting her in a position to feel guilty, but things i was thinking just came out.

I asked her to meet me and talk and she seemed so nervous and taken back by me even bringing it up. She was like "for what?" as if she is worrying that I'll try to plead for her back. Anyways she said she couldnt talk anymore cause she was at work.

I sent her an email shortly after, and than texted her to read her email and that she should try to finish the whole thing because it wasnt like the others were I plead and begged for her back...

I'll post the email I sent if anyone wants to read it.

Me and my girlfriend broke up and she wanted her space but I called and emailed and annoyed for a week straight. After that I let good and gave her her space and we talked on Monday and agreed maybe we shouldnt talk for a bit because it was too hard. She seems to not want to work at this at all and wants to just move on were I am crazy about her and would like to work it out.

Well I havent had a job in awhile and used that as my excuse for being neglectful and moody, which is what I assume pushed her away. She know is enjoying herself with new friends and new things to do which makes it harder for me to get her back, i believe.

Anyways I started a new job today and am so happy about it and feel like calling her and telling her about it and maybe asking if we can meet up and talk about out relationship and maybe work things out. Since ill be happier and less moody and able to work on the relationship. Thing is Im scared if I get turned down Ill just feel worse again. We've been broken up for 2 weeks.

Need advice ASAP please and thanks

I totally agree with you friend.

 

I am hurting badly, but i am beginning to realise, I dont 'own' my girlfriend, I dont 'control' her also. So now im thinking I must let her go her own way.

 

If she wants me, she will call me and get in touch. I dont own her life - she must mkae her own choices. If she wants me then she will call me. If not, I WILL find somebody else

so wishing that i could accept your wisdom for myself. Read all my posts and you'll see why im so scared. She changed and is going out more and meeting new people. It's been only a week since it ended and she is doing a fine job keeping herself occupied and busy with whoever. It is so hard to keep that mind thought of you cant control her and dont own her, i know it is fact but i feel as if she now has her freedom and is living it up and i have to sit by and do nothing

here to vent some more.....

My mind is going crazy again. She lives close to me so i find myself driving by when im on my way home from things. She seems to always be out and God knows with who and doing what. usually she is home after work and relaxing cause she works long hours.

Thoughts of a rebound man are cluttering my head and im back to being sick and lost in my own self.

Im not sure about career/money issues mate, Im only going by getting hurt by a girlfriend.

 

But what i am doing is going to the gym. Im saving up to go travelling.

 

 

SMILE and the whole world will smile with YOU!

Guess my issues about career and money are because she makes good money and works with 'kids' that make large amounts of money. I get thoughts about how im broke and cant offer her much in that department. She was paying my way the last 3-4 months of our relationship

All you really can do is send an email possibly stating exactly what you're feeling and that you would love another chance to make it work. Try not to put too much emphasis on you getting over steff and mentioning that because it might make her hesitent again and she'll wonder if you are actually over her.

Possibly just say you had personal issues that didnt allow you to have your heart and head entirely in the relationship last time and that you wish you were able to go back in time and not hurt her the way you did, because you werent stable when u were with her. Say that you have experienced what she really means to you and you know see that you want to be with her and make a great relationship work.

Nothing else you can do but put your feelings out there and see if she responds and wants you again.

Salamander - I know what you're saying is 100% true since ive gotten over a past love several years ago. But no matter how many times i get my heart broken it'll always be the same feelings of pain and lonliness....Problem is each time it happens i gets harder and harder as Im getting older. Reaching 25 and not having a career set and a future set is depressing, for me anyways

Normalman

 

I can hear you but I am the opposite of you as I am accustomed to be with myself and comfortable with it...I hve had lots of gf's just this time there is a void and I know there wont be anyone else who can fill it...

 

Never felt this way about anyone, ever and doubt I will again...

 

Hang in there....

Indeed a painful feeling.

I dont think I could handle being like some of the others here that havent spoken to their ex's in many months and still hold on. I do not want to be one of those people at all. I feel like im going through a death of someone with this grieving and i wish there was some way to put a quick stop to it.

I wish i could be feeling like she is which is probably relief and freedom knowing she is moving onto something better. While she doesnt know what the future holds, she chose for it to 100% not have me in it. Takes a strong person to make that decision and I respect her for it, but i cant get over the damage to my self-esteem that someone who spent that much time (2yrs) with me has decided they didnt enjoy it and will be turning it in for hopes of somethign better.

I want to be a MAN again and not feel the way I do!!!!

start with telling us how you broke up and the problems you to had and how you responded when he left you. And has he moved on and whats going on with him now ?

work on it. If you dont fix this now it will ruin relationships for you over and over again. People dont like to feel like they cant breathe and cant do anything without someones approval. You need to allow him to feel comfortable and trusted when he does things that dont include you coming along. If he doesnt have that feeling he will start to think it's trust issues or that you are too attached to him. Dont make yourself look needy, if he goes out to do something than find something else for yourself to do in the meantime and dont just do stuff in spite

Dont be clingy.

I was the same way and would get jealous if I wasnt invited in things. I know how you feel and we both need to not be this way. understand that sometimes people need other people to socialize. Be confident and understanding and he'll appreciate you more that you understand why he doesnt invite you out sometimes. If he feels guilty himself than fine, you dont need to say a word and dont need to make him feel guilty either

Id be scared myself but like everyone said dont push the issue with pressuring her. Ley her know you want her to be happy and that you have changed and feel you're a better man now and can have a healthier relationship with her again. Than stay away for a bit and allow her to miss you and make up her mind.

Also make sure you truly truly do love her and want her and not just worrying more now cause you found out someone else wants her. I know you said u confessed before you knew he did but now that you know dont allow that to cloud anything. Shouldnt be wanting someone when your only agender is to keep her close and keep her from being happy

I'm definatly doing better everyday, the pain is still there but atleast i'm starting to realize she isnt coming back. It's taking awhile because it wasnt a major fight that made the breakup. She just decided I wouldnt change and she wasnt happy so she just broke it off in a slow way.

I think i'll always be waiting for a call and checking my email 1000 times a day until i find someone else to come along and fill that void. I'm a relationship person and find comfort having someone, being alone is hard for me.

Im reflecting back on last time i went through this and I was a mess than atleast now im feeling the same pain but my actions are more in control. Probably because I havent seen her out and dont know what she is up to so i dont have to see her and be upset. My past experience i had the ex always around where i was and it drove me crazy that she wanted nothing to do with me

I agree LadyV, wish i could convince myself NC was just for me but im still in the hope stage and seeing if it helps bring her back (making her realize there is something worth working for and she'll lose me forever if she doesnt give me another chance)

Eventually doing NC to win her back will just drift into doing it for myself.

I do realize the good in just letting yourself heal and gettiong back to you. I was blind in relationships till coming here and it is sad how much of my happiness relied on her.

I'm a bit confused and I do love her but maybe my feelings of pain and such are just a result of thinking of her with someone else (ive always been a jealous type) ; being rejected and not worthy of someone else ; feeling she'll find someone better than me (money and friends and more oppurtunity to show her a good time) which will make me feel more insecure; feeling of me not having a good career and feeling my life wont come together soon. Ive been irresponsible and havent work in awhile ( I did just graduate with a B.S degree in finance this past may)

I know it's hard to see the light ahead and let nature take it's course. Thats one of my biggest problems ive had all along in my life which is not expecting change. This make this breakup situation hard because i cant allow myself to think positive about how things happen for a reason and my life will get better eventually. Also, even though i want her to be happy with everything she does, it's scary to think shes moving on to better things and will have a happy life now while i'm stuck back here trying to put all the pieces together and find myself again

Im still holding on and giving her space and hoping she comes to her senses.

I got a job i start tomorrow and i dont know how im going to concentrate on that with my mind all screwed up and grieving so deeply and not able to focus on anything else but thoughts of her. Thoughts of her coming around to her sense, what she is doing, if she misses me, if she is just working on herself and moving on meeting others.

Went out last night and saw this girl I knew awhile back and she was with a friend of hers. I talked to her friend for a short but not long at all. Talked about how she broke up with her boyfriend and such. I asked the girl i knew for both of their emails and such. I get home and im pretty drunk and wrote this girl an email. When i woke up this morning i regreted it once i re-read what i wrote,cause im sure i looked dumb with what i said.

She hasnt emailed me back probably cause she hasnt read the email yet, but it might be doubtful she even will. She was drunk herself so she will probably think, wtf who is this guy and what the hell did he send an email saying crap like that for.

If anyone has seen the Movie swingers, I truly feel like that guy thats girl left him and he is just all messed up over it and does stupid crap obsessing about his girl and others