I can’t tell if I’m dramatic or if my mind is groomed to accept toxic behavior from my upbringing. I left to church with my 3 year old this morning and decided not to go back home to his father (we are not married). We have been working on his anger issues, over the years he had a history of breaking my property, when I was pregnant he dragged me by the leg during an argument. He is working very hard to give us a better life, on a regular day he spends time with me and thinks of ways to make me happy. I can see the will in him to please me. He is not perfect, but I try to stay out of his way and let him figure things out like a man and he appreciates it. When he’s upset, I give him space. I’m rarely upset. But when my menstrual cycle comes on I hear all of these negative voices in my head, my energy feels depleted, it’s like I’m frozen. I ask him to leave me alone during this time so I can rest and have a safe place to process my emotions, and if I have an attitude it’s best he just stay out my way and not take it personal. I expect as a man he can provide this type of stability for me and my hormones, but no - because he didn’t like my “tone” he proceeded to correct me for my tone, tell me to shut up, which made me even more hormonal and say mean things. This just started a series of him saying things that made me realize he has zero compassion for what I go through. He told me my menstrual is just an excuse, and that he didn’t care if I was giving birth no one will speak to him in that tone. He recorded me while I was crying, which made me feel uncomfortable so when I pulled out my phone to record him he smashed it. I’m honestly scared of him, but it’s hard for me to close my mouth I am very hurtful (yet truthful) with my words. Which is why I decided to leave so I won’t make it worse.