Vanessa43223

Yeah, we're still friends, I have Discord open right now and I still have him on my friends list. I guess it's just that I longed for something more than just friendship, even though friendship is still good too.

I haven't explicitly said "I love you" but I've given hints, telling him how cute he looks whenever he posts a picture of himself, using "x"s at the end of sentences sometimes, heart emojis when saying goodnight, hugging GIFs etc. The conversation where I asked him about meeting up was around 2:30 PM UK time. It's past 7 PM here now and he's at work. Shortly after he first messaged me on Reddit he kept praising me over and over, saying he'd love to carry me over his shoulder and even posted selfies of himself posed in a way that it was like he was carrying me over his shoulder and he said "imagine you're on my shoulder" and he also sent selfies where he's hugging someone invisible, and he said "imagine you're in my arms"

Yes, it's the same man. It just turned out he was depressed and busy with work but didn't want to tell me.

30, F. So, an online friend I've been talking to for two years said this morning that it's not likely he'll travel to the other side of the world to meet up. He was exactly my type and now I don't know what to do. I honestly feel a little heartbroken but also not surprised. We've been talking just over two years. I live in the UK and I'm also ace. I've been single since my boyfriend died suddenly over a decade ago. I've always only ever been attracted to what are known as stereotypical nerds, especially if they're very fat. I guess if you saw me you'd say I'm a stereotypical nerd woman, but I'm skinny. They just seem adorable to me and like they'd give amazing warm hugs, since I'm skinny. I met this guy on Reddit who was quite literally my dream guy - horn rimmed glasses, cleanshaven, passionate about action figures, studying computer science at university, a really chill guy who'd listen, and he weighed 350 pounds. He even had a cute little nerdy lisp whenever he talked. He was easily the most adorable guy I've ever seen. He contacted me first, but he lived in California. We initially talked for a few weeks over Reddit chat before moving to Discord. He showed a lot of interest in me at first, but I feel like over time both of us kind of realised we're too far and I can't fly due to a medical condition. Today I asked him if meeting up was possible but he said it's not likely since it's so far. It kind of cemented what I already suspected but it still painful and I don't know what to do. He contacted me when I was going through hell physically and felt lost. He got me through hard times but now I sorta feel lost again. We're still friends, of course, but knowing I'll never meet him in real life makes me feel empty. It also makes me feel sad for him, too, since he said he's lonely and in one of his Reddit posts a few days before he messaged me for the very first time he said he feels like giving up, that he hates the way his face looks, and said he felt like no woman would ever love him. But from his perspective, he meets someone who does love him and everything about the way he looks, and she's too far away. I'd have dreams about him a lot, such as lying on his belly in bed, and feeling his warmth. Buying him his favourite action figures just so I can see him be happy and feel loved. Doing anything to make him happy and excited. Keeping us in company with each other. I initially thought he was ghosting me a while back, but it turned out he was getting depressed and burned out due to work, because of an inconsiderate boss who was making him work from 5 AM till 1:30 PM almost every day, and when he voiced his concerns to his boss he just ignored him. So he's been too tired to even talk most of the time the past few months. I feel like my type is much too specific and I'll never see a guy like that again. I'm not into people who call themselves nerds but only like Star Wars or something. For me it's the whole package. He was the only guy I knew besides my dead boyfriend who said I looked pretty. I was mostly bedbound for years up until August last year because of a heart condition I was also only recently diagnosed with. I've became a lot more reserved and introverted as a result of that and spend most of my time online.

This just took a creepy turn. My friend told me to try and look for records on this guy and told me what sites to do it on. Birth records, and whatnot. This guy told me his first name and surname, the year, month and day he was born, and where he lives. He's also posted photos of himself at work (he works making tortillas at some Mexican themed grocery store) wearing a name tag that is the first name he told me. I managed to find the store he works at. The closest match for him on Nuwber was a 42 year old man, which is quite a difference from 23. I searched Ancestry, specifically, his first and last name and being born in 2000. The only results which came up were either people with his name who are not listed as living in the place he told me he was living in, or dead people. Out of curiosity, my friend tried to look herself up on Nuwber, and she was the first result. But she's tried herself and she can't find any matching official records on this guy using the info he gave to me. I'm very confused. He's sent videos of himself driving and talking in the car (not pointed at his face), photos of his front garden, and photos of himself in college classes and also photos of himself at work. My friend said that his voice doesn't match what he looks like, and also that many of the earlier photos of him smiling looked like "fake smiles". She also said even in the early photos "I see darkness in his eyes, like he's dead inside".

I've made the decision to ghost him back, the last message I sent him was "Have I said something that's upset you?" which was 24 hours ago. He sent me "Not at all" Then 39 minutes later "Rest well and take care when you sleep I work from 5AM to 130PM tomorrow like always See you soon 😁" At exactly 1:30 AM last night. He hasn't sent any messages since.

Update: He recently got back to me a few days ago saying he can't talk much because he's busy and very tired because his schedule hours have changed. This morning (before he woke up in his time) I sent him a voice message. He had one class at college from 12 pm to 1:15 pm today. He didn't even acknowledge my voice message, and simply said he's sorry for not responding, a few hours ago. I remember that before he'd message me when he woke up, and he'd also message me when he was on his break. The not acknowledging the voice message is something unusual, since before he'd reply to them. I even asked him if he received my voice message since Discord was messing up today and he said "yep". A week or so ago he didn't acknowledge my selfie either, which is something he did before. I'm not sure if it's because he's tired, but he almost looks like a different person in the photos he showed me of himself recently. I say "recently", he hasn't posted a photo of himself since January. His eyes look dead and he's not smiling. In some of them he even looks angry. I managed to find his Facebook account, he barely has any friends. His Twitter account also has 0 followers on it. EDIT: I went ahead and asked (quote) "Have I said something that's upset you?" His reply (which was almost instant) was "Not at all" and he hasn't replied anything else since.

No, we've never met in person. He just sent me a message on Discord: "Rest well and take care when you sleep then I work from 930AM to 6PM tomorrow 😁 See you soon, since I'd assume you will sleep now that it's early/late" Between asking me "sleeping soon?" which was about an hour and a half ago, he didn't talk to me at all. I still feel terrible about the idea of just ditching him and I'm not sure how to handle it emotionally. Especially since he mentioned 2 years ago (a few days before he approached me on Reddit for the first time) that he's afraid of getting another girlfriend because he feels like they'll become abusive to him like his 2 exes apparently were, and that he's lonely and feels like nobody will ever love him. I'm looking to get into the art field, so there's that. I've been ill for over a decade, it took them a long time to properly diagnose and medicate me, so I've been shut in for a long time since an aspect of my heart condition was that it prevented me from standing upright. It'll take a while to adjust but I'll consider the advice you gave. I appreciate it. I'm going to head off to bed for now, I'll respond to any additional responses when I get up.

No, it was online, but the way he interacted with me right at the start was as if he wanted to date me ASAP. He was clingy. He seems like a completely different person now. His work hours have been harder on him lately, but even on his free days he acts the same, nothing like before. We used to chat every day all day and voice chatted often. He'd laugh a lot and sounded genuinely happy to talk to me. I just wish I knew what happened.

In April 2022,I met this guy online (Reddit). I live in the UK, and he lives in California. Word went around on Reddit that I'm very attracted to nerds, which I am, and then this guy who is the epitome of one in terms of looks approached me. When we first began talking he kept complimenting my appearance, and would go into detail about how he'd like to cuddle me and whisk me over his shoulder (he's morbidly obese with a BMI of 49, I'm skinny and short). He likes collecting comic books, action figures, and studying computer science. He would message me all day every day, which I didn't mind, he was just a bit clingy and if I was afk for a while he would continue typing messages worried that he'd scared me away or something. He told me that he's lonely and his exes had abused him which has put him off of finding a partner. At the same time, a post on his profile was of him complaining that his therapist said that he was abusive and he's trying to make himself look the victim. At least one of his exes was violent with him and tried shooting him, only for the bullet to fly past his shoulder (according to him). He made a post about how he felt like nobody would ever love him and he felt like giving up, and he wouldn't care if he died. This was shortly before he approached me. He never said anything that was bad to me. Early on, he did almost demand selfies of me regularly so I could see photos of him. But I chalked this up to him being a lonely socially awkward nerd and nothing more. Some of the selfies he posted were of him holding his arms out as if he were hugging me, and another was him posed in a way that he was whisking me over his shoulder. At the beginning he was often smiling in his photos and looked happy. Now, he doesn't smile. I have POTS and Dysautonomia, and it flared up really badly in January 2023, during which I would lose sleep and also sleep a lot at times at weird hours (I have been on proper medication starting from last August, and feel a ton better physically). Whenever I told him I'm struggling he'd just respond with something like "distract yourself". I don't know why, it just seemed...cold? I put it aside assuming he's socially awkward. But as time went on he messaged me less and less, and it's like we are distant now. Even early on in the night he asks me if I'm going to bed soon, like he wants to get rid of me. He doesn't send Whatsapps anymore, or photos of himself anymore. When I upload a photo of myself he no longer compliments my appearance and responds with "cool" and nothing else. I uploaded a new selfie two days ago, and he didn't even acknowledge it, even though it'd been a year since I took a proper selfie since I'd been sick and looked visibly sick. He'll not message me for days and say it was because he was tired from work. I'll have to make an effort to carry on a basic conversation with him. What should I do? I feel really sad rn. I genuinely felt love towards this guy, now if I see anyone who looks like him I just feel weirdly betrayed and upset. I'm starting to think things that are out of character for me, like maybe this is the reason nerds are unpopular amongst women, because they act like this. And yet I love them so much and they're my only type, I'm not attracted to any other type of guy at all. I feel like I'm going to grow old and die alone.