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MrHorizontal1234

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Everything posted by MrHorizontal1234

  1. I mean, I'm socially awkward, although I've been getting better. I'm very much alone atm, and it's a struggle. I consider these people "friends", but they're more like casual acquaintances. And they always end up ditching me at the end of the night. Sometimes they're nice, sometimes I get treated like crap. The gf is the worst. She blows hot and cold and has a lot of baggage.
  2. Hi, I've been recently volunteering at a venue in which an old friend from school works behind the bar, and his gf is head chef. I've had a turbulent relationship with them both for one reason or another over the last few months. They often, on a saturday night, bring others back to their flat for an all night party. Tonight I heard them spewing nasty things about me threw their window. It hurts like hell, but I know I am better than them.
  3. I feel like I am struggling from severe depression.
  4. I am someone who struggles in social situations. Although, though I was told by some stranger I met tonight "everyone struggles". I can manage to be quite social and funny when I try (and a few drinks does help). I just don't seem to be like everyone else. Like I got speaking to some girl in the smoking area earlier, and she told me she knew me from here or there etc. It went alright. But everyone always seems to get with someone else. I spoke to this other girl tonight, an older girl, there seemed to be more chemistry... She gave me her number... but idk it's all ambiguous. I have had sex in getting close to 7 years. I'm 29 and I don't know how I've ended up such a social outcast that I can't pull anymore.
  5. I just feel I have been so inactive. Regarding vows, yes, I think he is married. So I am currently speaking with a mental health charity and they've suggested groups that go on walks etc. I think it is worth a try. Hobby or activity? It's my harmonica playing and a youtube channel I am trying to build. I am currently signed up with a mental health support service and have a session booked in with a private therapist for next week. Despite all of this possitivity, I am still feel very bad how I've let it get to this point. I go on facebook and I look back over the years and I think "how did I end up here"
  6. No, I don't have any friends. Just a couple, one from school, who I reconnected with recently. They both went to this thing and I wasn't invited along.
  7. Parent, my mother took her life 6 years ago.
  8. I just want to let them know that what they did has made me feel awful.
  9. Not really a close friend, but still I remember going out for his 24th bd like it was yesterday. It just feels really horrible to loose everyone. I even thought about ending it.
  10. It was an old friend of mine's 30th Birthday and I didn't get invited. I went out to a gig with my father and his gf and a venue where a friend (or should I say casual acquaintance) work and even they were going to this thing. A couple of the lads that went out used to bully me at school. I went home a billy no mates. I'm feeling really angry, both at myself, and some of the people. What a dreadful way to spend an evening.
  11. I don't go on her profile, nor do I go out socially with her or her bf. I haven't seen her in a few years. These are photos that came up in my fb timeline.
  12. If I could see my therapist I would, but she's booked up for the year. I am trying everyday. My feelings regarding this girl are very complicated and I'd appreciate some compassion and understanding on this forum.
  13. I spoke to the samaritans last night, and they basically said they think I'm inactive because I had strong feelings for a girl I worked with during my Master's course and I didn't tell her. Years later, I'm feeling pretty broken up over photos appearing on fb of her and her bf at Christmas.
  14. Thanks for your response. I should say he's not a very close friend, if I am being honest. They are on holiday at the moment, for some reason, I'm thinking of her all the time. I thought distance would be the ticket, but she's always there in my mind.
  15. I feel guilty about a lot of things in life. I'm just struggling with my feelings at the moment, and my brain is telling me theres no hope, nothing will ever get better etc. I never came to terms with my mother's death a few years ago, and Christmas is always difficult for me.
  16. Went out with them again tonight, was a bad idea. Aw hell, it's a small town. Don't know what to do.
  17. It will be easier said than done. I think the thing that kills me is that if he goes to bed at 9.00pm or 6.00am, he's got a desirable girl with him. I live alone.
  18. Ok, to give you some credit regarding the previous post, I think you're right; her looks matter to me a lot, I don't like to lie. She moved for a fresh start, from what I can remember. She was in a very-long term relationship that ended/went nowhere. So can feel for her with regards to that.
  19. Well I like her. Can I be with her? No, she has a partner.
  20. I don't care about her looks. This isn't some younger girl, this is a woman in her late thirties. I am in my mid twenties. I like her, that's all. And yes, I've seen therapists in the past, usually over past heartbreak. It's deffo time to make another appointment, but this isn't the right time of year. Also, just to add, there's no such thing as "get help". There's join a self-help referral scheme waiting list which has a lot of grey areas, and work through this and that.
  21. I have cripplingly low self-esteem and I see this girl all the time and she alleviates the feelings of wanting to kill my stupid self.
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