LL1421

Im working on it , im sifting monwy away, it just takes time, if i had some where to go i would

I dont think so, its becoming too toxic

Yes he gets DLA

Married 3 yrs was promised the world, turns out his quite nasty. He regularly tells me to get out his house, which we bought together , but the main issue thats playing on my mind now is he has told me ,never to my son,that he wants him out. This is making me realise that my son ,18 autistic, has no security, if i was to die tomorrow woukd he just get thrown out ? I have been sifting away some money for me and my son to move out but this takes time, how can i make sure he has some security if i died ? All money is in a joint account , house is in both mine and husbands name

Have tried everything, when he does witness his troubles he says its all a put on , im fighting a losing battle at least thats how it feels

I think some of that is right , and he thinks he wont get anywhere whithout a push, and i think my son has got into a bit of a rut , bit husband doesnt see the panic attacks, he doesnt see that he cant process and remeber information or that he cant walk through an unfamilar door wothout me, that he just cant cope with people he doesnt know or do something without being shown a few times , and i wont put his mental health and even more risk than what it is, i beleive that he will find his way in his own time, just becausr he is now 18 doesnt mean he can go out a het a job like any where like any other 18 year old, he has limitations and they have to be met for him to succeed

No . No pre nup, my husband is a bit jakyl and hyde, hr can go from being nice to horrid, i do feel he hid alot of himself away before we married

I know, and it feels far from that

Before we were married he wouldnt dare say anythibg to me, as soon as feet under the table and we married it all changed

Exactly this is why my boy is not working or at college, and i have said all this to my husbsnd but it falls on deaf ears

I have said this to him

No other arguments about money, plenty about other things, it just seems ti be if i get my son something he says he will never learn and get a job whilst im getting him things , he doesnt see his autism says thats just an excuse

Only been married 3 years, and the house is in both our names, i work full time and have basically said the same that if i want to spend money on my kids i will its nothing to do with him, my son has no relationship with his dad ,

He wouldnt get away with saying to my son or infeont of him, its me he says it all too and me who gets the abuse, no way would he be allowed to say that to my son

Ok, so i have one son living at home , husband has a son who comes at weekend, my son is 18 and has autism, he has struggled with college and finding work so at the moment isnt doing any so im looking into sending him to a speicialst college so he can get some quals, my husband says there is nothing wrong with him and its all excuses because he is lazy and i let it be like that, he wants him to pay towards the house which me and son have agreed that he will pay a token amount out of his DLA, but then husband goes mad if i buy him anything saying he has his own money. He spends over 100 a week buying whatever his son ,15, wants and said he will happily pay for his son for the rest of his life but not mine as he is just lazy and not his responsibilty. I dont want my son pushed out like this and im so angry and my husband xant even see why. Am i wrong?

Hi thanks for replying, we have been married 3 years not 30 , the 30 yr thing was how long i been vegetarian, if you dont mind ne asking, how did you come to realise your behaviiur was harmful, it sounds like you have taken steps to change, so much you said resonates with him and trying to explain to people who dont understsnd how frustating and humiliating it is so diffucult, im currently sleeping on the couch, yes post op , whilst he is in bed because he had another tantrum and i cant be near him

Thank you to all who have replied to this topic, its made me feel a bit better that im not being unreasonable xx

Yes he always turns converstaions or situations on to himself, ehat ever the topic he will change it to something he is dping in work how fantastic such a thing he did was etc its like theres no room for anyone else

I have considered many times , but starting all over again with nothing will be hard , living situation - as long as he gets his own way things are fine

I know, thus is already someting i have considered

To give another example of his moodiness , i have been vegetarian for over 30 years , he became vegetarian when we net, i never asked him to what people eat is their chouce, but said he did it for me, last night he declared he wantrd to eat meat again, so ordered himself a huge kebab , fine if that is what he wants to do, but then he said he wants me to start eating meat to which i replied no , so he said he became vege for me because he loves me so i should start eating meat to show that i would do the same for him , or it just means that he lives me more and i just dont care

If i try and do that he follows me , and says its because i dont care about how he feels

No it isnt , if i say im tired or just dont feel upto it he will do the same , we have sex most nights. It isnt about him doing things for me , i understand that people have different wats to showbthey care but he seems to have none , we both work he comes home goes to bed whilst i sort the house out then will come down when tea is ready, he doesnt do anything ,