There is a lot to the story here that I'd like to flesh out.
- Got out of a relationship almost 3 months ago, met a guy called Reece online two weeks after the breakup who asked what I was looking for, I told Reece nothing serious/something casual because I'm freshly single and he agreed to get to know me and meet me on whatever terms I want
- Reece texted me everyday for at least two weeks before we met IRL and sent me posts/memes/asked for my opinions about things in his life
- I started building somewhat of a friendship with Reece, we talked about our childhood trauma lol, upbringing, friendships and hardships in life and I started questioning whether I was developing feelings but I wanted to see how it was in person first
- Met him in person for milk tea and the vibe was good, it didn't flow like it did online which is why I think it was also slightly awkward but more so because I built up this image of him over text so I was also nervous. My rule of thumb was if I was genuinely interested in him, I wouldn't sleep with him but because I talked myself into not seeing him in that way, we ended up sleeping together. He said if we were going to be FWB if we could be monogamous and I told him my last monog fwb turned into a 4 year relationship so I refused for now/said it was too soon for me to make that call.
- After initial meet, he still continued to message me everyday/most days, he has this habit of also starting conversation and then disappearing in the middle and answering hours later/leaving me on read but it didn't matter to me too much as he always started conversation again soon after. Also, I never would initiate conversations so it was 95% him starting.
- He would ask me when I'm free and we'd plan at least a day or so in advance before our hookups to see each other/for me to come over.
- A bit of context/Reece does everything at home (started building his own business online) and is a massive gamer so he hardly leaves the house. He comes online (Instagram) like maybe once a day. On this one occasion, he asked me if I liked him messaging me everyday and if I minded if he'd go 2-3 days in between not talking to me. In an attempt to protect myself and to seem detached, I told him I like him messaging me but I had no problem if he didn't talk to me also. Since then, the messages were less frequent but I still would at least see him messaging me/sending me posts most days.
- I was out drinking one night and messaged him late night asking if I can come over after. He responded asking what time and I responded about an hour later saying about 2am. He was offline since his last message and didn't resurface until next morning where he just left me on read and didn't say anything. This hurt me because I'd think at the very least, he'd apologise for not getting back to me/falling asleep. I didn't say anything for a few days until I sucked up my pride and asked why he never got back to me. He apologised and said he'd been quite busy/tired and fell asleep by the time I responded and didn't see a point in explaining the next day. He said I could come over but with at least a days notice so he can fit me in his schedule. I suggested another day and he agreed and we didn't talk until then.
- Two hours before the time I set to meet, he messaged me asking if we were still on and that he'll come pick me up. When we met, he asked where I've been(?!?!) and explained that he's been busy with his business/unofficial job in his game. We spoke and cuddled for hours until early morning and he told me he enjoys my company and wants me around more but feels guilty trying to fit me in in the minutes between when he finishes up work/goes to bed. He asked if I could sleep over and said I could come and stay whenever I want so long as I don't mind watching him do his work. He also said I could just show up?? at his door and he'll let me in since he doesn't go on his phone much. I told him I was not comfortable doing that and I will always ask in advance. He said he's going on a trip with his best friends next year and asked if I wanted to come? Additionally, on more than one occasion, he asks how dating app life has been but then insists he doesn't want to know/doesn't care when I talk about any other guy?? (then why ask in the first place). Then I asked him back how his was doing and he showed me but he pretty much had no other matches/anyone he's talking to besides me. Out of nowhere, he asks if I want him to delete it to which I said no, I didn't ask for that at all. He then insists he'll delete it and deletes the app in front of me. However in another stupid attempt to prove I was detached/didn't care, I grabbed his phone and installed it back for him. I know this was stupid of me because it's taken me time alone to realise I do care a lot lol.
- The day after this last meeting, he asked me to get lunch but I was busy at the post office. We texted like regular for a bit until I was out for drinks again one night when he asked when I'd be free to grab dinner. (This was kind of new as we've only ever spent time in his bed, late at night, hooking up so it was new for us to even go out and get food lol). I was out so I responded a bit late and said I could do Wednesday or Thursday. He said he'd be busy for Wednesday but might be able to make the other. I responded the next day saying I was happy to make the Thursday to which he left me on read again?? The next day, he sends me posts like regular and asks for my opinion on something. One of these posts was pertaining to bedroom performance ranking to which I joked around and said he was ranking poorly. He responded to his with "I see". I noticed he sounded dry/hurt so I said I was joking and that his performance was more than satisfactory lol. He didn't address this. The next day he sent me another post and I left me on read when I responded to it.
- He didn't message me for an entire week after this to which I kept questioning whether I hurt his feelings about the bedroom comment. I then decided to message myself as I rarely ever initiate and asked when he was free. He said he could do Saturday night after 7 and I said I'd come around about 9pm to which he agreed and said he'd see me then.
- Saturday morning, he sends me another post and leaves me on read when I responded to it. I let him know at about 9pm when I was coming to see him and I parked outside his place. I messaged again and called when I realised he wasn't responding but he didn't pick up. I saw his car was in the driveway so I drew it up to him falling asleep again so I left and hung out with another friend expecting him to wake up and respond. Fast forward to the next day and presently, he came back online for 5 minutes a whole day later and hasn't responded or messaged me back. I'm honestly furious as I respect his time when he says he's been busy and try to work with him but he hasn't given that same respect back. I also have places to be or people I could be seeing and I at the very least expected a response the day after apologising for his lack of response. I know we haven't put a title on anything so I don't have many expectations but I expect him to respect my time and energy at the bare minimum or for some kind of notice/apology when he can't make a time. I'm not sure if this comes into play but he has told me before that his brain is scattered because of his ADHD (he's medicated for it) and he forgets important events e.g. his best friends birthday and such. He told me if he doesn't have a reminder constantly in his face, he will most likely forget to do something but he's trying to be better. After getting to know him on a deeper level emotionally, I honestly entertained the thought of dating him at some point (I never told him this) but it's hard when it feels almost impossible to organise seeing him and I'm not sure if this is how dating someone with ADHD feels like.
- Sorry for the suppppper long rant, I just don't know what to make of this. He's the first person I've ever met quite like this. He's different than other guys in a good way but bad in this sense. I don't know whether to block him. I honestly want to go off at him but I don't want to give him any more reaction when he's stonewalled me for an entire day. But at the same time, I am a human being with feelings and it's not nice being stood up when he and I are meant to be friends to an extent. I've apologised when I've left mid conversation when I've fallen asleep so these are just things I expect back.
