what would you do if you were dating someone for about 5 months and then for whatever reasons decided to look them up in the courts (i'd go into details what made me do this but then this would be really long and more confusing) and found they had a crime from 7 years ago. The crime is trespassing. But thanks to google you find out it was originally a burglary, so the lawyer must've had it dropped to trespassing. The crime is he went into a woman's home (he was friends with her) early in the morning, through a back window, while she was still sleeping, went to their bedroom, she was sleeping with someone that night and they woke up and chased him out.
When I asked about it he says he had a panic attack about these friends (I guess worried something happened to them?) and went to check on them..then says I am intrusive for looking him up and stops talking to me, ghosting and blocking me. I tried telling him this is public, anyone can look it up. The court docs says he has a mental illness and was supposed to be in mental health treatment. From what I know talking to him he does get paranoid, start talking about things that don't really make sense but he seems like a good person. I do believe a mental illness is at play.... although not a panic attack? Maybe some distorted thinking made him make a bad decision. and not use common sense?
At this point he's blocked me and isn't responding to any texts or calls. So I've been ghosted. I guess he's mad I looked all of this up. And please don't say I was in the wrong for looking him up, or being stalkerish. like I said to him anyone can with a few keystrokes and google. I wish I had done it sooner because now I already invested time and emotions into this person. He seems like a quiet, shy, gaming guy I'd have no idea he had an arrest before. For now on it will be something I remember to do sooner.
If he was worried about these friends anyone with a clear head would call them, knock on their door, wait a couple of more hours till maybe they were awake. Common sense being a male, even if this was just a friend or a past girlfriend, it wouldn't be a good idea to just go through a back window and into their bedroom because no one knows his true intentions.
He also still has a bench warrant because he was let out on bond/parole. I believe the warrant is because he never paid the court fees and bond. Not sure how serious this is.
I can understand not telling someone all this being scared it would scare them away or turn them off..but it'd be something he'd have to share eventually if he was serious about a future with someone. Part of me is thinking maybe since I like and care about this person, and as someone who has depression and anxiety myself I try to be understanding of others if a mental illness really is at play. Feelings can be clouding my judgement though.
I've never had something like this happen to me, the whole ghosting thing, I'm feeling hurt and confused. Some have suggested I go to where he lives, confront him and try to talk since at this point I've been ghosted. Even if it's to just get closure. Others say the whole thing is weird, and I can never know what his true intentions were with what he did. If there is a mental illness going on it might not be my job to make sure he is ok, or if he is delusional there might not be any getting through to him.
