Magic99q

Yes it is the same woman, we managed to make things work and she was by my side during my time in hospital. We worked things out in terms of family life. she wants me to be a provider and problem solver. My mindset scares her. I live a privileged life and I have always had my dad to turn to when I needed something. Her dad was not there for her. She fears I will be like her father because I have a habit of asking for my dad for help or advice instead of just doing it myself. She says I am still a boy and not a man yet and that I will never be like my father with my current mindset.

I don’t know how to put this really so I’ll start from the beginning. I(m22) was involved in a recent accident where I was hit by a car, I am lucky to still be alive honestly besides being in hospital for a month and having to learn how to be myself again I still have my life. Ever since I have just not been the same. I am struggling mentally with the realisation that I will never be back to my old self in terms of being able to compete in sports anymore. I mean I can barely swing a golf club, let alone walk for an extended period of time without my leg swelling from having broken my femur. I recently moved to a different province and have no friends or family besides my parents. My girlfriend moved to the same province as me but our relationship has been turbulent. I feel extremely alone with no one to talk to or express my feelings to about everything that has happened in my life post accident. I try expressing my emotions to my girlfriend but that’s not a safe space as I feel that everything I say is used against me and that I get called less masculine for having these feelings. I get condemned for not being able to solve problems like a man should and if I cannot solve my problems how am I supposed to solve hers. I am extremely exhausted and feel truly alone. Having to deal with the trauma of almost dying and having these expectations placed on you to grow up faster and become the man that my girlfriend wants be to be, is really taking a toll on my mental health. Plus dealing with the constant physio sessions to get at least a tenth of my mobility back is tiring. I am working so hard at trying to heal my body as well as working hard to become this person my partner wants me to be. I sometimes think that everything would have been simpler if I didn’t wake up in the hospital. It is a terrible thought but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know where else to turn any advice ?

My ex girlfriend (f22) and I (m21) were dating for 2 years as of April this year and broke up very recently, we have not told any of my family or friends yet. We are both students ant university. Our relationship was good in the beginning but over the last year and few months it has been rocky and she has been extremely unhappy. The issues that have plagued our relationship are as follows: I do not feel worthy of her. We have had many conversations about who I am as a person, and the issues that she has with me are my lack of discipline when it comes to things such as going to the gym, academics, money etc. another issue is my ambition. We come from very different backgrounds where she comes from a background of Poverty, separated house hold and being abandoned by her father where she has had to fight to get to where she is. Where as I come from a fairly comfortable background with both parents and my dad being able to provide more that I need for me. The conflict comes in where I have a support structure that I know I can fall back on if needs be that being my father where as she does not. She feels that I lack the drive and ambition to be able to provide her for and our family in future because I will always depend on my parents and I need to stop doing that and become independent and a man. the second issue is with my family. My family does not like her and do not respect her. Having tried speaking to my mother about this situation to try and fix things nothing has happened. To the best of my abilities I have tried to mend the fences between my ex girlfriend and my family. She does not want any part of them anymore and cannot handle them anymore hence her breaking up with my recently due to this bottle up of emotions. I know I’m order for me to win her back I need to change every aspect of myself as well as tackle the challenge of my family and out of boundaries between them and my relationship in order for this to work. She says she loves me but I have the feeling that she has lost feelings and I do not know if doing all this this will be in vain and I will lose her to a more established and stable person than I am. what should I do?