Harp8373

I am totally cool with that. This is clearly worse than I originally thought. Thanks everyone

We don't talk or see each other. It is like one text rarely so I have massively disconnected from him. I am going to bring it up in therapy next week.

That text was in the early stages of our relationship and there hasnt been anything else inappropriate since that and he has been respectful.

Since I have been in my relationship we have had text conversations, maybe 6 or 7 times and that has included me telling him I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize my relationship. The drugs and alcohol thing including him was years ago and I meant that I haven't done any drugs in about a year.

I am definitely going to speak to my therapist when I see him again. I would hope after a couple of weeks boyfriend will calm down. I realize how crazy it was for me to expect my bf to be around him. I have done it my entire life so I have probably normalized it too much. My boyfriend is also the lying that came with not telling him

Yes that sounds like hell and I can't imagine trying. I know it probably sounds odd but I do care about him and don't want to see him in prison as well.

I am going to talk to my therapist when I see him again. I am hoping after a little time that my boyfriend will settle down and come to some level of acceptance. He hasn't been all bad in his reaction.

Yes, talking to bf was the first time I have ever spoken about it ever. There was a lot of times I wanted to say something to friends or family but never let myself. The older I have gotten the more I have realized the truth of the situation and how screwed up it was, much more than when I was younger. The first thing that I fear is not being believed. He used to give me drugs and alcohol and that continued until pretty recently. My mother and I always had a good relationship but I think that would hurt my credibility. It is really humiliating and the thought of people picturing it makes me feel terrible. Also I am not trying to send him to jail, don't want to go through a trial if anything could even be proven at this point.

I am not completely opposed to talking to my family about it sometime in the future. I am not going to avoid my family forever no, but in the short term I am ok with it for now. I don't believe it is my boyfriend's place to say anything either and I would probably leave him tbh.

No, my mother knows nothing about this. I don't mind being around him but am fine not being around him. Yeah I am going to cancel the trip. I would prefer no one knows because of how embarrassing it is but I also really prefer no legal action because it sounds awful.

Our main relationship was between 14-16. After that it happened at least a couple of times a year up until I was 19. Nothing has happened since then and I have talked to him about my relationship and boyfriend. Our relationship was complicated. I see him as an abuser for sure but also see him as my ex in some ways. I made a lot of not so great decisions. I'm sure it has changed my bf's view of me. He thinks he is gross but hateswhat I did.

I am going to talk to my therapist about it soon. All of it definitely was not consensual and was complicated. Bf is just disgusted by it of course, idk if it is more on mine or other guys part. I have lied to him about it since we have been together and he doesn't like that. I pretty much came up with a story on the spot about losing my virginity when he asked me. I for sure think that he thinks I am tainted and it all just sucks. I just don't think I can handle everyone else knowing about this.

He does not have access to anyone else like he did me

I know it is a big deal, I have just lived with it an dealt with it for a while in my own way, but it is hard keeping it a secret sometimes. No I did not expect this big of a reaction and I see that was dumb now. I didn't think it through before telling him.

I think he thinks it is both because it was. It happened when I was older to and not everything was forced. I agree that it should be my choice and about the worst thing he could do to me is tell my family. I see a therapist but have never told him about this so maybe I should.