Katt2323

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

I gave detailed suggestions in your other thread about this topic. Several other people offered great suggestions as well.

Previous thread

Have you tried any of the suggestions?

I did listen to your suggestions. I haven’t contacted him. 

I was in relationship, I feel like the relationship was a priceless vase and I accidentally dropped the vase. 
 

Now my boyfriend is done with me with no way of getting him back. I now I need to move on now but this is so harsh. The pain feels over bearing. And I have so much regret for dropping the vase. 
 

I now it’s time to move on but this is extremely painful. I tried to distract myself but I’m still really sad. How do you deal with the pain of losing someone who is done with you, especially when you feel it’s your fault? 
 

I know I keep thinking about this but only because this person meant a lot to me and it’s extremely painful that he’s done with me as if I am nothing now. 

I just lost my boyfriend. I have so much pain, regrets and self blame. He used to be warm and affectionate now he acts cold like he wants nothing to do with me and this is extremely painful. He hates me so much now. He asked me to let him be alone so I respected him but to be honest this hurts so much. 
 

I have tried distracting myself and seeking activities I enjoy and spending time with friends but none of this helps completely. 
 

Please don’t say something like ‘move on’ or ‘it’s over’. I already know it’s time to move on and it’s over and I promise I’m doing my best to accept this but that doesn’t take away the string of the pain. 
 

How do you move on from losing someone really important especially when you mean absolutely nothing to them now. 

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is this about a recent breakup? You can call a mental health hotline. Someone will listen to you and help you. They can direct you to affordable clinics and therapists for ongoing support. 

Ya it’s really painful. I went from being valued to being treated like a total stranger. I really need someone to talk to and I feel so alone. 

Has anyone ever felt like reality is to painful? What do you do when reality is too painful?

4 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Naaah, he's just putting it on you so he doesn't have to be the bad guy. And it worked. 

Thank you for your input though I couldn’t tell if he was starting fights intentionally or actually upset 

Sounds like manipulation. Maybe it’s for the best then that we broke up….

16 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

After learning that his cold shoulder was about him wanting his ex back, what do you believe that you could have done differently that would have changed that outcome?

I dont know how to respond directly to posts. But responding to cat feeder, I don’t know what the cold shoulder was about.
 

It could have been because he wanted his ex back but he could have given me the cold shoulder because he told me was that I was avoiding him all week, the previous week(the week before we started fighting and things falling apart) This is total bull*** because I wasn’t avoiding I was just busy and stressed with stuff going on in my life. Sometimes I felt stressed and burnt out were I couldn’t give much energy but this wasn’t me avoiding him. I did my best to talk to him and be there so I don’t know why he thought I was avoiding him. 
 

He said I was avoiding him but I don’t know if this is what he truely believed or if he was starting a fight because he missed his ex. 

Responding to wiseman: 

We were together for one year and he was a really important part of my life. He is still really important to me so this is painful. 

It’s painful to realize my toxic behavior. I wish I had responded better 

To reply to Jaunty: I needed space because I thought he was giving me the cold sholder. But I feel like that was the wrong choice. People keep telling me asking for space was the wrong move and I really regret it. 
 

I do believe him about the ex but I feel like my toxic behaviors contributed to the break up as well. 

I lost my ex a few weeks ago. I blame myself for losing him because I asked for some space. After I asked for space he got a lot colder and later broke up with me. I can’t stop blaming myself because if I hadn’t asked for space things would have been better. 

Later I talked to him (against my better judgment) and he told me he wasn’t over his ex. While I knew this was true and a valid reason to break up, I still feel that’s not the real reason we broke up. I feel like the real reason is because I pushed him away. I still can’t stop blaming myself for the toxic behaviors that pushed him away.