I split with my ex nearly 3 weeks ago. We‘ve been civil for the most part in fact even just short of a week ago I was really enjoying his company being friendly whilst working on myself and what makes me happy. We are 29yrs old and have 2 children and a mortgage so it isn’t as simple as just walking away. I honestly feel like the person I once knew has gone and I now live with an imposter.
He just wants to be out with his friends partying and in his words “I want to relive my youth because I didn’t get to in my early twenties.” This is because we decided to be parents and you loose that selfishness when take on a greater responsibility like that.
I don’t believe for one moment he is happy. I’m all for letting my hair down and having a good time but when it becomes almost a daily occurrence drinking, smoking, partying in between working and being a parent for me it’s blocking out and running away from your problems but I suppose that’s just my opinion.
I’m concentrating on myself and finding out what brings me joy outside of being a mother. I’ve bought a book to start reading, connected with old friends I’d been neglecting, meditating, exercising, eating less etc. I’m in such a positive mindset and I’ve never felt more confident.
I know I’m worth more than being with someone who doesn’t come close to matching my own maturity but it’s hard to let go. I worry that he’ll press self-destruct for a short period and then the penny will drop and he’ll think what the hell am I doing but by then I hope I’m strong enough to tell him it’s too late.