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I don't mind waiting. Is not that is absolutely necessary that we share flats as soon as possible, but it would be very convenient, renting is expensive in Spain and, as much as I'd like to have my own appartment, at first I'd have to share it with someone. I'm not looking forward to share flats with strangers again, but I'll have to choose between that or having my own appartment and that implies not saving anything for traveling or so. In the end time will tell, I agree it would be best not to consider moving together for a while. He seems to plan to stay at his parents for some time and save some money first anyway.

Thank you for your insight. I agree it would be wise to wait until he adresses his depression to move together, we can always become independent but not share flats at the begining. I guess I have things to consider until then.

I'm glad you understand me, I don't want to seem too harsh or make people think I'm hyperactive all the time xd And yes, it concerns me that he's, like you put it, "at a far end of a spectrum". Still, I want this to work and I cannot say for sure that we can't function together because we have never experience a normal time together to test it (we spent a week sick with COVID, a week while I was mooving houses... the recent 4 days in the Christmas holidays were the closest).

As I was saying, thank you for sharing your experience. I must say I'm not living on edge, waiting for a great change to happen or anything like that. My partner is a loving person, even if treatment didn't work for him, he woulld still be an awesome partner. But I agree we are very different and time will tell if not too different.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm trying to type a thoughful answer, but I have a cold and it's very late, I'll think about it tomorrow.

Yes, I'm afraid this is a possibility. I don't have a clear picture of what it would be like if we lived together, but either it would make us closer or more distant.

Thanks Tinydance! Actually, I'm not an extrovert. I realize it may sound like that from my post, but I'm pretty reclusive. I expend most of my time alone on my computer and only go out on weekends. The point is, even when I'm alone, my energy levels are always high and I'm always doing things. The social interaction can make me tired, but not everyday tasks. I agree that I have to respect what he's capable of, and if he wants to spend hours lying down, that's ok.

Yes, this is what worries me. What I think would happen is, if we move together, that I will spent most of the time on my own, which is not too bad because I'm used to be alone doing my own things. But I don't know if the time we spend together will suffer, as I mention we have sometimes ran out of conversation and such. If anyone here has a partner with a very different level of energy I'd like to hear what it is like.

I agree he needs it more, his therapy will have to wait thought. My mother will probably pay for mine, but I can't ask her to pay for his as well. But it's a good advice to take it one step at a time..

Thanks SooSad! I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better. I don't like the use of medication instead of therapy, I think therapy should come first, but it's something we can discuss down the road. I have never consider our different schedules to be a problem tho, I'm studing to be a librarian now (illustration is not paying my bills), and I will eventualy work during the day, so my "natural" schedule will have to shift.

Thanks Batya33! Of course I'm being flexible, and so is he, we're not breaking up or anything, I'm just sorting things out. I don't expect to do everything together even if we lived together (I like my alone time, thanks). But all my friends have normal levels of energy... some of them even too much energy, so I'm used to people keping up with me. In this case, I'm dragging him around xd And no, we are not currently in therapy, I started therapy but had to stop, I'll get back as soon as I can; he wants to go to therapy but has no income at the moment.

Hello! I'd like some advice with my relationship, story goes as follows: I am a transgender dude dating a younger man. We met studying art, we're both illustrators. We've been together as a couple for a year and a half, but long distance. We meet by discord and we see each other only a handful of times a year. We have lots of things in common, besides illustration, we both like cinema, games and music. We get alone pretty well and we never really fight, only some heated discussions that we apologized for afterwards. He's very understanding about me being a transgender and that helped a lot. We support each other emotionally and, when we can, finantially. So, what could be the problem? Well, we're expeting to move together sometime. And we are very different people, I am very energetic, always doing something, with 2645836 projects and working out almost daily. He, on the other hand, suffers from depression and has very limited energy. I'm not blaming him for it, I suffer from anxiety myself, but this creates a contrast between us. We spent 4 days together this Christmas on a flat I rented and he complained constantly because it was a 20 minutes walk to the center of town. Besides, we could do only 1 activity per day. If he goes to the cinema, he doesn't want to do anything else for the rest of the day. There were times in this 4 days that we were just lying in bed, not talking, and I knew he was very happy like that. But after 30 minutes I was grabbing my phone because I coudn't just stay there doing nothing. He knows he needs therapy (we both need therapy), but we can't affort it at the moment. I just wanted to know if anybody has had a problem like this and wants to share their thoughts. Whenever I travel or go on vacation, I expect to go see things, walk through town, etc. Also there were times when we ran out of conversation and that has never happen to me with anyone before (I'm very talkative xd). There are lots of things sexually that I also want to try, but since I suffer from my transgenderism it's a lot easier if he takes the initiative on new things, which hasn't happend recently. I thought that next time I'll bring some things to do on my own (books, something to write, a sketchbook, films). We also have a different schedules, he's a morning person and I'm a night owl, so he goes to bed at 10 pm (thats veeeeery early in Spain, that's what you expect from a kid or an elderly person), and I stay all night and go to bed at 6 am in the morning. I'm OK with doing things on my own at night, as I did. But idk, when we were both awake, weren't we supposed to be excited? As I said, any advice is welcome! Thanks for reading!

Hi there! I'm transexual, so maybe I can help a bit. The thoughts of you being female will be normal for a trasgender person, however, you said that you didn't felt right with that image. If you feel confortable with your actual genitals and such, you don't have to worry too much about it. And I see you base lots of your conclussions on stereotypes. I know women who work with their hands and men who love literature, that doesn't mean anything (I don't want to seem rude, this is a friendly clarification). Of course it's not the same everywhere, I'm not judging. But being transgender has nothing to do with what you like. I am a transexual man and I don't like sports, I am bisexual, I love art and I have a very soft voice. That's my personality. I'm not feminine, I look completely like a man and I feel like a man since I can remember. Thi point is, do what feels right to you. It's ok to try dresses and stuff, I advice that to confuse friends because that creates a real image of them in that kind of outfit. If it doesn't feel right, then it's not right for you. Hope it helps!