How do you move forward or even just find friends?
My (32F) BF left a few days ago. We’d been together nearly 5 years. We had our ups and downs. But I thought we were in a good place. I also knew deep down he hated the state we lived in and deeply missed his family 6-8 hours away. I knew it was coming with how he was acting recently. He was growing distant and would break down crying after talking to his family. But I still feel blindsided.
He’d left once before for the same reason. But he came back and I thought that meant he’d chosen a life together, that he’d made a CONSCIOUS choice to be together. And could live without seeing his family very often. The night before we cuddled and watched movies. Then he asked to talk the next morning. He packed and left in just a few hours. And now he’s gone.
I’d let myself be optimistic for once that things would work out, that I’d found my person. And now I just feel shattered and alone. I moved here for my career. He was the only person I knew here. All my friends are in other states. And I have no one for support or to talk to. At least he’s going home to his family.
And I can’t bring myself to hate him. I understand why he did it. I knew family was very important to him. He tried. I hope he can find happiness. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less for me. Especially when I let him come back after the first time he did this.
I know it’ll get easier with time. But what do you do when you feel like there’s nothing left? How do you find friends and a support group when you’re in such a miserable state that you can’t even eat or sleep?
