Sorry it's quite a long post.
I am 29 male from India. I used to work as a software engineer in a startup (left two months ago). Last year in November an attractive young woman (25) joined my team as Account Manager. We were all WFH , and it was an early stage startup so all of us used to interact on company groups on WhatsApp. I was senior engineer, and my team had no lead, so I was kind of leading the team. It was a B2B startup and we had MNCs as our clients who would tell Account managers about issues with our products and account manager would call me. Which means she would call me.
Now I have never been in a serious relationship in my life till now . When I saw her dp on WhatsApp, I was happy that atleast something interesting is happening in monotonous work life. But I was senior guy in company so I tried my best to be professional in all our conversations. She was quite outspoken, confident, talented MBA grad fresh out of college. And I am introverted shy kind of guy. But we had common interests like movies, tv series etc so sometimes conversation would drift in that direction. And I would crack jokes sometimes which she would laugh at and life was good.
On call , she would tell me sometimes about issues and conflicts she faced at work . And I would listen and wonder why is she telling this to me. Then we started having personal conversations on WhatsApp which were mostly initiated by me. Normal stupid messages like have you seen this movie ? Etc. Etc. I guess no wonder how hard you try, your desparation comes out in some form :(. She would reply to most of them but the replies were not that enthusiastic. Obviously we were both working so I didn't mind. And she would rarely initiate personal conversations with me . To which I thought, hey I m senior guy, maybe she is bit intimidated to initiate.
Just when I started liking her, one day she informed me of her resignation. She had some conflicts with the senior management. It was bold move as she had no offers, but she was quite determined to get a job within 2 month notice period. I was quite sad, but I felt for her. So I would sometimes ask her about her preparations and upcoming interviews and would give her some advice. I don't know whether it was me trying to help her as a friend, or using it as an opportunity to just chat with her. Maybe it was bit of both.
Then one day we had to test out some website we had developed. I asked her to check, it was bit urgent. I personally messaged her to test. She didn't reply. So I posted on the main group. Then after sometimes she replied on the main group. I was bit angry. I asked her. She apologized saying she was preparing for interview so was busy.
I thought *** is happening to me. Why I am getting angry over small stuff. I am sometimes very impulsive and the next morning I thought it's better to just tell her that I had feelings for her and get this over with. I thought I had no chance anyway, so just telling her would lift off this weight from my chest. I just said that I had a crush on you, and she very politely declined saying that she saw me as good friend and she was bit surprised by my confession as she saw me as an introvert . And btw my WhatsApp DP was some Monae painting. Which means she had no idea how I looked. lol
So after that she worked there for 3 weeks . We had just professional conversations on main group. Also the founder of company told business side not to directly call tech people in case of any issue. So we had no interaction on call after that. I called her up on her last day at the company. She was quite elated as she had gotten a pretty good offer. I congratulated her and told her that I would miss working with her. I was in very vulnerable state then and was expecting her to say
something. And she said that I could message her anytime. Which slightly irritated me a bit. It sounded like a consolation.
After saying bye, I was very disappointed. I started blaming myself again for being too desparate. And I decided that I am not going to v her again. Ever.
4 months have passed since then and I too left the company for some other reason. I didn't even serve the notice period. I was jobless for around two months. Have just got an offer and I have put up a decent DP too :).
In these 4 months there is not a single day I haven't thought about her. We are connected on WhatsApp and on LinkedIn.
Tell me , is it too outlandish to expect her to message me ? My ego stops me from sending messages. But I am bit perplexed. I always treated her nicely. Maybe she could have asked me how I was doing?
Should I message her ?
If anyone has managed to read till here, would love some advice. Because I am not able to move on. Women folks! Please offer your wisdom:)
