nai808

So for the past year or so I've been having people tell me that I might have ADHD. I know that it's not a good thing to diagnose yourself or others as we're not doctors or professionals. But I can't help but think that I might have this and the more I educate myself on it, the more concerned I get over myself. I want to get help for it if I do have it, but I don't know how or what to do about it. You see, I'm currently in the middle of doing an internship. It's not paid so I don't have the economic means to seek therapy or a psychiatrist right now. I still live with my parents but they don't support me taking medication as theyre concerned I might get addicted and they also think that I'm fine which isn't a very healthy thing to say to someone. I'm aware of that. They're just not supportive and are ignorant when it comes to mental health, therapy, and such. Since I was a kid, I've always been a very distracted person. I spent and spend most of my time daydreaming/spaced out. I've struggled alot with following instructions especially if they're vague. Like for example, if someone wants me to get them their belongings I need them to tell me what it is specifically and what color/detail it has because if they don't then i'll end up getting them the wrong item. I've also always been very unaware of my surroundings which has led me to bumping into people and almost getting hurt by accident. I often forget things in the most random of places. I often catch myself fiddling around or moving my leg alot when im sitting down. Sometimes I get these bursts of energy and don't really realize it until someone points it out. The list goes on but in my internship, not being able to follow instructions, forgetfulness, and lack of focus have been the things that have been affecting me the most in negative ways. I feel bad for the person I work with as I've made multiple mistakes when it comes to getting her things or her asking me to do things. She's very vague and I'm afraid to upset her. No matter how much I try, I just always end up doing the wrong thing or forgetting something. I've researched a bit on ADHD after having multiple people point it out. All my life when I was a kid, I always had the things I listed above being pointed out in a negative way. I've been told that the reason why I'm distracted is because its just my personality. Ive expressed to my family that maybe I might have something but to them, they just think im fine since I've always been very distracted. They, like I said, keep using the "its just your personality" and "if you had something the doctors would have told us years ago" lines. So at this point, I've just given up on asking them for help and given up on trying to convince them on ADHD. Another reason why they think im okay is because my dad acts the same way. They think I've just inherited his personality traits. But then again I've read that alot of the time fathers tend to pass down ADHD to their daughters and that it can be a genetics type of thing. I guess with this post I just wanted to ask, what can I do to better myself? Is there anyone here who has ADHD and if so, how do you treat it? Is there any natural remedies or things I can avoid to better it? Don't want to diagnose myself without really having a diagnosis but I just have this feeling I might have it and would like to stop feeling frustrated over the little things at work that I struggle to control.

Hi so I've been noticing that many people in my life (friends, acquaintances, family members, people I went to highschool with) are getting married and having kids. I'm 22 from a small town in a conservative state. I've been hearing and seeing things like this for a while now and I can't help but feel pressured/behind on life. As a 22 year old, I oddly don't see myself or feel like an adult yet. I'm currently in the process of getting my degree and getting a job. I plan to further my education and travel and grow into myself. The idea of getting married now and having kids are things I don't have planned. I honestly dont feel ready to do those things and don't really seem interested in doing so now or anytime in the future. Yet I somehow feel the pressure to do to these things now especially seeing people close to me doing them. It doesn't help that I'm from a small town. My bestfriend is getting married this month and this has hit me as well. I feel old like I need to have my life together yet at the same time I feel like I have so much yet to accomplish. I've experienced people telling me that the age I plan to maybe settle down is too old. My ex boyfriend used to tell me "having kids at 30 is way too old" and that I should consider settling down younger. We're not together anymore but hearing things like that did make me feel bad. I just want to be financially secure and emotionally ready to do that and I feel like in my early-mid twenties isn't an appropriate time. As in this age, it's important to figure what you want and to live out what you want to do. Oddly too I've been shamed for feeling unsure/not wanting marriage or kids. I get told things like "you'll change your mind" or "you're going to end up alone" if I don't go for it. I guess I'm just unsure and have other things focused on right now. But what I came here to say is, is it wrong to not want kids/marriage right now? Or ever? How can I avoid feeling pressured on doing these things? Any advice is appreciated.

Hello, so it's been a couple of weeks since I last broke up with my boyfriend. After the breakup, I decided to block him everywhere. Because I knew that if I had him on my social medias, I would try to get back with him or he would try to convince me to take him back. I wanted to cut things clean and I knew that if I didn't block him, he would reach out and try to endlessly call me/text me and convince me that it could still work out. Now it's been a couple of weeks since the breakup. For some reason I oddly feel weird/guilty for not feeling heartbroken or sad. I'm the type of person that is very emotional. Usually when I've lost a friend or a person in my life, I tend to cry or feel sad for a good period of time. But currently I don't feel that way. I can't cry. I don't feel angry towards him or towards the things he did to me. I don't feel regret of having an 8 month relationship with the person I was with. Sometimes I'll feel a bit lonely or nostalgic about the relationship. But other than that, I don't feel like it's the end of the world or that I wasted my time. I know things weren't perfect and that we both weren't either. But I learned alot throughout the relationship and gained many experiences I've never had before. I did cry alot throughout the relationship. I lost respect for him everytime he hurt me. Whether if it was pressuring me to do something I wasn't comfortable with or when I caught him interacting with other women in fetish communities. I felt that when things like this would happen, I would unattach myself from him. I don't know why. Maybe it's a coping mechanism I have. I guess my issue is that I feel guilty for not feeling down over this breakup. I know grief has several stages, so maybe I'm in denial or in another stage I don't know about. But I would just like to ask if this is normal? Is me not feeling sad a sign that I didn't love him?

Thank you so much for the advice everyone. It really means alot. Thank you for the article I'm definitely going to read it. What's stopping me is that I've read and have been told that it's rude to do it over the phone. That if I'm going to breakup, I should be upfront and do it in person. This is why I'm conflicted as to how to do it. Also, should I be direct and just say things aren't working anymore or should I explain why I want to break up?

Hello, I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. I'm 22 and he's 23. I recently got into a fight with him because of what I said. Last week, he took me to his house. I've been to his house multiple times and have met and talked to both of his parents. I get along well with his mom as we were both born from the same area and we share a sense of humour among with other things. His dad is 75 and I've talked to him a few times. But everytime I have, he seems to be very suspicious of me. We don't talk as much since he's either mostly at the doctors when I'm at their house or he's asleep in his room. But last week when I went to my boyfriend's house, I spoke to his dad and mom. The conversation was going great until his dad asked me how many boyfriends I've had before. I honestly said one, and looked at his soon. And after saying that, in a serious tone he said I was lying. This really bothered me as I have no reason to lie about something like that and it's true that I've only had one boyfriend. I explained to him that I have strict parents and that I've always been a shy kid and that was why I haven't had past boyfriends. But I guess he didn't believe me as he didn't acknowledge what I said. Then I talked to my boyfriend the day after and told him that I felt like his dad didn't like me. That's all I said. I didn't say that his dad was mean or rude or that he was a bad person. But my boyfriend got mad and told me to not speak that way about his dad because he's from a different generation and I don't know what his dad is thinking. He said it was wrong of me to assume that his dad doesn't like me. And I said that I was just expressing how I felt. He didn't bother to ask me why I felt that way or what caused me to feel that way. He got mad and I immediately apologized and didn't seem him after. Now that I've processed what happened a few days ago, I understand that what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have assumed because I don't know what his dad is thinking. But at the same time I feel that I didn't say anything disrespectful and that I do have the right to express what I feel. He told me that I was just jumping into conclusions when I expressed that I felt like his dad didn't like me. This bothers me as he's had a history with saying things like "you jump into conclusions" or "here we go again" or "you're overdramatic." These statements really make me scared to tell him things and it makes me feel like my feelings aren't valid. But fast forward to now, I haven't spoked to him in two days. I've been taking space and thinking about the situation as well as the relationship as a whole. I was going to ask him if I could have space, but usually when I've had in the past he always wants to confront things immediately or he pressures me to say what's wrong. He doesn't give me space willingly and this also bothers me, so I had no choice but to take space on my own accord. I am planning on speaking to him again, but I just wanted a few days to myself to think, feel, and reflect on what happened. I've been thinking about breaking up with him. Not just because of the situation, but because of multiple things that have happened in our relationship. He pressured me to go down on him when we first started dating even though I told him that I had never done that before. He apologized and we moved on from it. Then I found messages of him interacting with women I didn't know and in fetish communities. And now this situation with him invalidating what I said and my feelings. I feel like I've hit the last straw and I feel like I should have seen the first two red flags. But me caring about him and seeing the good in people blinded me to that. Also, the relationship feels the same and being in his house as well as his parents makes me feel uncomfortable. All we do is go to his house and then that just usually leads to sex. We can't cuddle or watch anything for too long until it ends up to that. That and as well as us having different views, and being raised differently are also a reason. I don't want to drag the relationship longer. Should I break up with him? I want to do it in person, but everytime I've confronted him about our problems, he just begs me to not leave him. He cries and then just follows me even though I tell him I want to be alone. It's okay that he gets emotional its normal in relationships and situations. But I'm scared that if I break up in person, he won't leave me alone or just get on his knees in public or try to convince me to stay. What do I do?