Anna09

Yes I'm trying to really ignore who he texts for the sake of my sanity but it Really annoys and it bothers me. We seat in the same room and he will be on his phone all time not talking or even looking at me, it's like i don't exist and as if i have nothing interesting at all to talk about or discuss, so many things and feelings and i don't have anyone pysically here to share that with and he is stick to his phone. It frustrate me but when his grieve are around he treats me better and pretend everything is fine. and i just stay on my laptop looking for jobs or improving my resume. But it's still frustrating .

It just hurt me to see how he is with other women, when we we're in distance he always made excuses to why he didn't text to much and i believed him as i didn't like to clingy either. But now i see him sending 30 Texas to them and multiple girls, and true its a big boost for his ego to get all this girls and have me loyal and devoted . I remembered first i met he was very simple guy that shops at thrift stores and now he dresses all with brand clothes and the worst he makes me feel underneath him because i just wear very simple things and i shop at thrift and very cheap stores . He will say" are you gonna go like that" even if we just going to a neighborhood store next block and telling me i need to change my clothes and get near once even that he knows i dint have money for that kind of luxury . and his girls on Instagram are nicely dressed and makeup and sexy pics ... all this makes me feel horrible and I'm a bad mood all time when around him.

Hello everyone, thank you for your advice and help, just an update. I started working in a restaurant. I Finish my training and now i will start getting paid better. It's only part time about 30h . I asked the manage for more hours and also looking for asecond job to save as much as i can. That at least makes me feel kinda better . But not so much. I'm still living with the guy that call himself my boyfriend. And the situation is basically the same. He keeps on pretending that he loves me and care for me. Taking me to his friends house for dinners... by i feel worst than i was. I just can't stand him anymore. Wharves he does just gets on my nerves and i just don't want to be around him and sometimes i just ignore him and don't want to talk to him especially when i see the first thing he does in the morning is to start checking his Instagram and replying for bunch on messages from different girls everyday. I still use the phone he gave me. Today i saw notification from the same blonde girl . And the one he answered the phone to that night after ordering food to her place. And another IM not sure who she is. It makes me so upset and angry but i can't even call him on his shi**, i just want to blow up on his face but i can't. I haven't even received my first check yet. So i can't do that. And all i can is to ignore him and not even look at him. But than the atmosphere in the house just horrible. I really just do don't get it why is he doing this. Pretending to live me in one part and texting so many girls in other part. He could've just brook up with me while we we're on long distance and get with all this girls .

Hw is to say how mulch free dislike been on his phone all day long, and he even claims his eyes hilurt really bad because of the phone light. But that all he does. Just in his phone or watching tv . I m bored out of mind at home and i prefer to be out of top be with other people while with him. Than just both of us. But all he wants to do is to stay home even that he know I'm bored and new to the city i need to see where things at and explore.

I m hoping one of this jobs will be a good fit, and maybe meeting new people and forming a social circle as in stucked in the house alone or with him i. Don't have a car and when her is home all he wants to do is to be on the couch. When im visited before we go out and do things and i always good him i like to do different activities. But now it's just staying home. And previously we visit good friends home or they visit us now he doesn't let anyone visit us even his close friends. He came and he was outside he went to talk to him instead of inviting him in the house. And i met him multiple times in the past. And I'm not is he trying to isolate me or what I'm his head exactly

Yes you are right i over invested and i call so stupid for that. And i feel so miserable to be with someone that thinks I'm not good enough and pursuing other women for him and keeps pretending to love me.

No im not really attached it s just gard for me to process all this . And i admit it hurts because i put so much effort into this. But i see the way he is and it makes me miserable and just want to get out . I did fellow the advice as i applied to 30 places all together . And today i received 3 invitations for interview at 3 different restaurants. This is all i can do for now , is to look for work and look rooms for rent .

I keep applying for more jobs and looking into rental rooms. And he keep saying to dont worry about finances, he will take care of everything finnancially until i start working. But it's not just about money or finances. What's hurting me more is that i out my entire trust in him and believed everything he sold me. I just never imagined that hw will do such a thing and he the one that kept insisting that trust is the main and the most important thing in a relation , and we need to be honest 100% witth each other and tell each other what's going ... and he still on that notion as of today . And his last relation supposedly ended because his ex cheated so he knows the pain you cause someone by cheating but still did it anyways. I told him before i moved for months and months while planning the move. The importance of honesty and that I'm putting ending in the line for this and moving because i really loved him and trust him and have faith in him. And i told him how we musy support, respect , care, and treat earthen with kindness and empathy and he agreed 100% on everything just to fund our after 1 week in that all that was just bullsh***. It hurt and it make me feel like a failure and so disappointed and heart broken .

I'm not been picky about what Job i get. Of course i would love to get a job with my degree but i know very well or could take months for that to happen as i Don't have any experience surg my degree yet. I been applying all day to restaurants, stores, gold clubs and even temporary agency staffing . I can't stay and don't want to be here. I feel very depressed, anxious, uncomfortable, awkward, fake all time and it hurt me so much to see the way he is with other women. It's really taking a toll on my mental health too. I had already depression and trauma from past event not related to him , but this is isn't hopeful and or drives me crazy. I need to get out asap and go get help withmental health as i really had good intention with him and had my hopes up just to crush. Right now he is been out for his supposedly have a work meeting for 1h our 1.5h and it's been hours. He texts saying he is still at the meeting. But how can i believe him anymore.

This is what happened last night He got home from work and he said let's just get food delivered and no need to cook dinner at home. So he ordered from our favorite restaurant. I was like I'm my mind karts juke try to keep peace and enjoy this meal and forget for a moment about all this. About 1h after ordering he looked on the delivery App, and he was like it's about to be delivered in 3 min, and after about 5 min and nothing arrived . He looked again and he said oh No , the food was being delivered at this "other address". He apparently have another address saved on his delivery app because he delivered food to that address in the past and the last time he got delivery was to that address. I asked who is address is that address anyways, and he was is for " friend is my friend Carlos" . I just said okay. I know good friends Carlos and i been at his home more than 3 times and i know rusts not his friends Carlos adress and he don't is a friends of a friend Anyways he try to fix the address but the delivery person said he is on a bike and is far from our address. So he suggested to just go out and eat eat around the house, we did that. While we were seating at the table cross from each other. He has his phone facing up and a phone call from a someone named "Sofia" was coming in. He responded because i already saw the name, he talked to her but i didn't understand a thing he was saying as he talked in Spanish ( that's his native language and we are in a city where a lot of people speak that language ) . His face got enlightened and he was all smiles and giggles talking to her . And after he finished the phone call. He told me that she will check and see if the food at her door and she will send it. I was like why is it for at her house.? And why do you have her address saved in your phone? And he said she is a good friend of my friend Carols and they have a nice pool art her apartment complex and last time i went there with Carlos and another friend to swim and i ordered food to that address.. what is bullsh***. And he said " are you jealous sweetheart" I good him no I'm not , but don't i have the right to know why is an address of another women in my boyfriends phone. And there was a huge shift in the mood and he noticed and than said what is wrong with you and i said nothing, but than he is like you are "weird" And i was like good is the 3rd time you telling me I'm weird and is becoming insulting. Anyways after dinner we came back home, and no one did anything anymore about this Sofia or what Happen and i just stayed on my computer applying for jobs. While he was on his phone. In silence. How many womens this man have on the side im not sure and it just makes me feel horrible. I was crying after that while he didn't even noticed .

Yes . I went out and put some applications in stores and restaurants , and i applied in indeed to Mor than 10 places. I try to keep it at the place that ate not too far so i can take the bus since i don't have a car for now. I will give a fellow phone call to each place i applied at in couple days if they don't call me.

He is 30 and he isn't American originally. But he has a residence here. And he came about 3years ago

He you absolutely right i need to seek a medical and psychological help in regardless to my self esteem , and depression .

Yeah he probably still lie and cheat. And for some reason i keep having this feeling that he knows i know something. As he keeps over correcting kinda of thing. Keep saying how perfect i am. And now he said he wants to stay with me for ever without me asking anything about it. And trying to bribe me but offering to buy me more things. Trying hard but it doesn't matter to me. As i don't see him the same anymore and once i have enough money i will leave. I can't trust him or trust what he says anymore. Also is like Im getting more involved with him. Now he is taking to party this week with his coworkers and close friend( he works at the same place with his close friends) . Before i like Doing things like that wit him, more or just makes me uncomfortable, awkward, and what the point anyways to go to his work and attend a party.

Yes, I m very mad at my self for making such bad decision at this age and putting my self in this situation . And you right before this message things were fine or so i thought, I trusted him a lot and really believed what he said, and thinking of it now i release that his words and actions when in person while visiting mad me convinced that i was good enough for him. For the first time i had a romantic relation where my partner made me feel i. Was good enough and i was special and worthy to to be loved and cared for, i know or pathetic but this is the truth. And when i find out this texts it was like a slap in the face as i released all that was bullsh***, and actually he wasn't satisfied enough with me and i wasn't good enough for him, and he couldn't just be honest and tell me instead text other women , and give his his address for other women to visit him and seek sex for money. It hurts and I'm not sure if this is good everyone that been cheated on feel but this is how i feel right now.

Yes that's the plan for now i keep pretending to don't know anything just keep looking for work and than get my own place once i hehe enough money and let him know i knew what he was doing. But i hehe a weird feeling that he knows i know or at least i m duspeciuos of him.

No I'm not okay with what his doing at all. I told him multiple times while we we're still on LDR that of he had any doubts shot this to just let me. As I'm not holding him or forcing him to stay in the relation . But every single time he will say he loves and his feelings never change and he want us to be together .... and now that i moved here with him just to find out he is texting other women's right now. And few months ago trying to pay for sexe and giving women his house address to meet.

No he doesn't wish from home. He had a normal job but close by to the house and i see his schedule . And i know most of his coworkers and know where he works Yes I'm not sure if he knows i know. It's weird how earlier after he noticed a shift in my mood he keeps saying that I'm a perfect girlfriend . And great women and he will protect me from anything bla bla .. the timing was odd

Should I?

I do want to own the full messages conversation on his Instagram is he going to know someone else read them or no? Right now can only read the posts that are on the notification message. I didn't enter entirely into his Instagram

I didn't hear anybody yet from any of the jobs i applied for. And right now it's what I'm doing applying for more jobs. And he keeps telling me to don't worry about anything and that he will take care of things but I'm adopting everywhere. He is been nice for now because i didn't tell him about all those texts but I'm not sure what will happen once i tell him.

The text i saw was today las of today. Like few hours ago and I'm not sure it's he knows his instagram is open or no. Anyways he just was telling me how much of a perfect woman i am and a great person so I'm not sure if he knows i know because he noticed a change in my mood IM not on the lease is only him and i didn't want to be in the lease even before i found or all this just in case things don't work i can just leave and get my Owen place. But i didn't know 1 week in this i week find texts from months ago trying to pay for sexe and now text to this blonde girl and i know he have a thing and he like blondes..... He confuses me by acting so nice and caring at the same time texting other women I want to feed more of his text but I'm not sure if he will know that i read them if i do. I didn't use Instagram in a while i forgot .

Yeah you are right, i was so stupid to believe all his lies, right now he is been really nice to me, what makes me even more now confused. He helps with house chores and he pays for most groceries and little things, and he even offers to buy me clothes but i said NO . All what he does even if it's something nice or just makes me mad and irritated. As if i have a switch and all what i saw as lovely and cute before now i see or a hypocritical and annoying and just can't stand him. And he keeps on telling me he loves me so much and all that bull****. At the same time i just saw on his Instagram on the same phone he gave . He is been texting this blonde girl over and over. I didn't open all the messages between them as I didn't want to him to know that his Instagram is open on they phone he gave me. But she was addressing him as" LOVE" all this just makes me very angry. When he says he loves i just want to tell him how much of liar and cheater he is and it makes me upset that he takes me for a stupid person that doesn't know what his doing behind my back . On top of that all my insecurities just became mulch worst. I saw the blonde girls picture he is texting on Instagram she is all put together and have makeup and nice hair and very fit. But I'm the opposite. I did believe him everytime he said hw loved me just the way i look . And loved me author or with makeup . Straight or frizzy hair. But now i know it's all bulls*** and he probably was laughing at me inside when i believed all that . I'm really struggling with all this and my emotions like a roller coaster and don't have money to just remove my self from this right now. I feel just depressed and stupid and this worst feeling is that i was stupid and dumb and day dreaming thinking this guy does really love me and that things really did change to the better for me.

Our war only 1 time for his rent and it was about 4 months after meeting him initially . Since than he never asked again. He got an okay job and got his own place...

I was on vacation . Visiting this city where we are living right now and where he was living where i met him. Is a popular touristique city.