VirginiaW

She should really take a pregnancy test. She can have a period-like bleeding even if she is pregnant, so her bleeding does not necessarily mean that she is not pregnant. Tell her she needs to take a test. Let us know what the test says.

If the condom didn't leak and was wet on the outside it was probably from your vaginal secretions during sex. That would make the most common sense.

That was my thought as well.

As you said yourself- she lied to you about almost everything. That in itself is not a good foundation for the trust needed in a relationship.

But why did she lie? Has she explained her behaviour to you? What were her reasons? Did she think that you would reject her if you knew she was a girl? Did she mean to tell you earlier, but then got caught up in the lie and did not know how to tell you?

And how about you- could you trust her after the way you started out? Are you in any way interested in her- that is, are you lesbian (or bisexual)?

5 years is nothing.

My mom is 5 years older than my dad- they have been together for 30 years now and are still in love and happy.

My SO and I are 50-50 when it comes to initiating sex and I know for a fact that he finds it very exciting when I do the initiating.

... how does your SO feel about YOUR feelings about it? Is he aware of just how much you are ready and want this? ... Do you think your relationship can survive if he never decides he's ready?

Yes, he knows how much I want it, we have talked about it plenty times. If he decides he is never ready (that is, does not want kids), then I will not stay in the relationship. I love him with all my heart, but if being with him meant not having children, then there would be too much bitterness and blame to have a healthy relationship.

If you are getting frustrated and irritated with him now, what makes you think that this will get better with a baby... If he says that he wants child but not right now, then ask him when?

Because my frustration is strictly tied to wanting a child. I am not in any way frustrated about any other part of our relationship or him. On the contrary, we have a great relationship. It is only our disharmony in want of children that is frustrating.

I have asked him "when?" plenty of times- and he cannot answer, which is why it is so frustrating.

Do you mind if I ask you why you want a child so badly at this point in your life?

No I don't mind you asking. Only, you ask as if it is a weird thing that I want a child? Is it so odd that a 28 year old woman, who has been with her SO for 4 years wants children? I think it is a very natural thing for a woman to want. Children are a big part of my life. And for me, part of loving my SO and wanting to spend my life with him, is also expressed in the desire to have children with him. We both have jobs, we are doing good financially, we have a nice home, hell, we even have a dog.

You say you've wanted a child for eight years now. That's a long time.

If you are that anxious, why don't you just adopt a child?

...

You say that the man you are with wants children, it certainly doesn't sound like it. If he is consistently making you wait, then you might need to have a serious talk about what you both want in a relationship and what is important to you. If he won't even hear you out, then I don't think this is a man with whom you could raise children anyway.

Why I don't just adopt? I do not really get your meaning? I don't feel that it is so "just" to adopt- nor do I feel having a child of my own is "just" having a child. They are both huge things. So I find that a bit beside the point. I am happy in my realtionship, except for the child-part, and I wish to have children with my SO, not adopt.

Yes, he does want children- that is what is so frustrating. If he didn't, I could move on and deal with my heartbreak and try to meet someone new. But he does want kids- he constantly talks about "when we have children bla bla" and "our children bla bla". If he spots a child/baby on the bus or in town etc, he is one big smile and starts making faces at them or talking to them. He talks about children A LOT. Ergo, frustrating.

And he also IS the kind of man I would like as a father to my children. He is extremely loving and sensitive, no macho-hangups at all. Whenever friends or familiy bring over their children, he is off playing with them for hours.

And he does hear me out. Every time.

There seems to be an overload of unhappy and unwanted pregnancies on this forum, so my thread here, will probably be the odd one out... but nevertheless, I need a hug.

I'm getting desperate, on the verge of insanity with want of a child. I have wanted a child (children) for the past 8 years. My SO and I have been together 4 years... and I have been aching to go baby-project since day 1, but I've been respecting his wish to wait a bit. Now I've "waited a bit" for 3½ years. He still says he does not feel quite ready... Yes, yes, he wants children... just not right now.

I'm going mad. I'm 28, I no longer have forever, but most of all: I am aching, to the point of obsession, with the wish to have a child. It is getting to the point where I feel it starting to affect my feelings towards my SO, I feel myself beginning to get irritated and impatient with him for being so hesitant. I've been biting my lip for so long now, tried to talk to him, tried to make deals... and he still says "well, not right now".

I do not know what to do...............