i started to cut myself again. it's been over a year since i last cut. i was fighting it really well, but i gave in. i don't know if i want to go to the people in my life that could help me. i know they want to help, but a part of me doesn't want to tell them, because they will want me to stop. i don't want to. i'm scared. i hate myself right now. i really hate myself. i don't want thy scars b/c i hate my old ones. i cut like 20 some times before, and i don't want to do that again. but i love the feeling, the rush i get from it. i love seeing the blood.
i'm really scared and i don't know what to do. i need a wake up call, or a clear sign to tell my mother and my best friend. what should i do? continure to cut? tell someone even though i don't want to stop? cause more and unnessiary pain to the people closet to me?
i just don't know what to do.
nothing matters anymore. i don't care about anything.
*gilly*
