ReneinDC

wow very good post thank you!

I invented a person once upon a time when I was going thru a breakup with a co-worker.. yep.. "Mike from Seattle" MFS would send me gifts *that I was sending to myself* or call the ex co-workers extention by mistake *was a cousin of mine helping* and the co worker saw how "happy" I was with this new guy that he wanted me back and I wouldn't have anything to do with him again. I even started to believe Mike existed myself.. I wonder how Mike is these days.. maybe he'll "reappear" for this breakup lol

I'm not advocating this manuever.. but the end result sure felt good!

Just wanted to add that you are doing very well Rene. You deserve so much better than this guy. It sounds like you are on your way towards healing your heart. There are ups and down (believe me I know!!!) but right now you are on the up and up!

Hi Vetgirl and thank you for your kind words! I'm having a down day even though I've been doing good.. feel sad and still in shock somewhat but I'm sticking to my guns even though. It still hurts like the dickens.

I know exactly how you feel because I did the same thing when I broke up the first time.. I made him "think" I was seeing someone when I wasn't but you know what.. it was a good thing to do under the circumstances. Sometimes we have to do unconventional things to get over hurt so I wouldn't feel bad about the white lie at all.. I think it will help you in the long run. The more nonchalant I acted towards him the more it drove him nuts and it's working again this time only I dont want him back.

It will be ok you'll see ((hug))

And 39 years old what a blessing for you and millions of men out there and what an idiot for that ex guy too!

 

 

 

Awwwww thank you that's very sweet of you to say! I'm starting to feel better and thank u and the rest of the forum for your support.. I dont know where I'd be without you guys!

I'd bet the farm that she will contact you even though she's being cold and distant right now.. something will happen with this new bf and she will call to lean on you.. is that what you want though? You need more healing time so that when the moment happens *and it will happen* you will be prepared and not be her emotional couch

I know exactly how you feel because my ex *since sunda* is now contacting the bejesus out of me all of a sudden which threw me off my rocker but i'm going to stand tall because this isn't about him anymore I'm making it about ME and my well being and you should too! Your healing is of the utmost importance and his contacting you is interferring with the process.. it's like they know you are getting over them and they are in panic mode but if you show any signs of wanting to be with them.. they would run to the nearest exit!

If that is you in the picture why would you want him back when there are other wonderful good hearted men who would be glad to take HIS place?

 

out with the old, in with the new! 8)

I love your big blue logo! lol Yes that is me in the pic and thank you I'm blushing and may I say you are one hot tamale as well if that's your pic! Interestingly enough he always said I could do better than him but I didn't feel that way.. guess he was right all along.. I CAN do better and will stop pining away for someone who cant be with me in the way I want and deserve

Hi again,

If you don't really want to talk to him then don't, but if you do then go for it but DO IT ON YOUR TERMS. No more of this " with benefits" thing. Let him ring you one more time and then respond ( if you want to )

 

If you lay the ground rules and stick with them then he has no choice (if he wants you back) but to follow them. Remember you DO have a say in what kind of relationship you want. Stick to what you want and do not sway.

 

A man will respect you more when you show him that you require respect. If you make him wait for sex until YOU are ready( and there is some kind of commitment or exclusivity) he will treasure you because you treasure yourself. Remember this and good luck !

Hi Muneca There will be no more sex for sure I wont budge on that and since he cast the dye for this to happen he will have to live with his decision plain and simple! I wanted him in my life in the past and accepted the friends with benefit stuff but not again wont happen. He's scared now as he should be because Im not letting him back in and he knows it I feel.

he just texted me again!! Should I just ignore them? He's asking how i'm doing and sending jokes to my phone.. I really dont want to talk to him

Thank you very much Jar those are very wise words! After my daughter sprayed me like a cat in the face to get out of bed this morning I decided that it's time to get active.. take a shower (the sheets were starting to stick to me like velcro) so I did some girly stuff and went to Target.. as I was browsing housewares and starting to forget about the trama.. I get a text message from him! He wont let me heal even though I told him twice not to contact me.. Yeah funny how it's not so fun when he's not the center of my universe and He wanted to see other people so badly but it's not as exciting doing it with me not in the picture! He's going to be in for a big shock when he realizes that I dont want him back this time.

Very good post John! When I feel like breaking down and calling.. all I have to do is remember the crappy treatment I received and retrain my thinking that he isn't worthy of a phone call. Only when I'm 120% over him and him initiating contact with me first is the answer no matter how hard it may be.

Oh man I dont know what to say! Reading this felt just like the punch in the stomach I felt last night when he was telling me his BS while we were eating dinner on the pier! I needed to read this.. thank you because it was just the jolt I needed!

Thank you so much for your kind words! The pain has me in a choke hold and I can barely breathe sometimes.. I see him online on instant messenger and I'm debating whether to delete him or just stay invisible.. what is the protocol for that anyone know? Should I just stay invisible for a while? He's certainly not hiding.. seems he's getting along just fine but I'm the one being miserable

I posted here under another name back in the winter about my ex Peter and I breaking up. He was on a few meds and he put me thru a lot so I ended it even though I didn't want to. We were working together at the time so we had to see each other.. Well soon after I broke things off We started doing the friends with benefits deal and last night on a pier he told me he wants to start seeing other people and felt I was in the way but wanted to keep me as his "best friend" So I told him no way and not to contact me again.. well he's been text messaging me but I've ignored them. I am devastated nonetheless and have been crying my eyes out all day! I'm still in bed at 3:30 how pathetic is that??

I dont love easily and it takes me years to fall in love.. especially at my age so I just knew he was the one but after some mental episodes I knew deep down he wasn't the one yet I still loved him and though I did break it off he pursued me only to dump me. He doesn't want to let me go yet he wants to see others. I feel so lonely and I want this pain to stop! I just feel like I'm dying