AncientYoungSon

Damn, you know, you've gotten me thinking again and I can't particularly say I like the thoughts crossing my mind. I have the voice of "cruel reason" which sits at the back of my mind and pokes at me with questions like these from time to time. Questions like, "Why didn't she make a move for me?" and let me tell you, the answers I wind up forming in my head are never ideal. Things like "Because she wasn't done having meaningless sex yet", which in turn leaves me feeling like leftovers at the back of the fridge after she already "tried" everything else. I'm sorry, I know this can't possibly be helping, but I've wound up feeling like a leftover before and I can't say I relish the thought of feeling that way again. I don't know if I care to spend time with someone who effectively picked me last... -AYS

It's good to know that I'm not the first to feel that way, actually. The logical reason I can think of why someone would not date you immediately upon seeing you is because he/she realizes they're not ready for a strong relationship yet, which is what you yourself represent in their mind. Why they then continue to date and have sex with others is still very much a mystery to me, however. -AYS

In answer to your question, she was my first, but we broke up at one point and I had another relationship which moved a little too fast for me, then got back together after that relationship ended. All of this was a little abnormal for me as I'm usually a loner. I suppose I'm not sure if I trust her or not, as I know she cheated on a boyfriend before me and that has always weighed heavily on my mind. She also has had casual sex on a few occasions, though I naturally didn't want to delve much further into that. You have helped me here. I do need to consider if I feel like how you mentioned will be necessary to make the relationship work, and I don't think I do (though I'll have to ponder it a little longer). Actually, it's different in my case. I knew her for about a year or two before she ever gave a relationship with me a chance. In the meantime, she was still dating other guys, and while she insists that she just wasn't ready or something along those lines, I can't help but scratch my head about this notion. -AYS

Here's the problem, as it stands... I'm 23 years old, if that will aid in painting the picture. I've known this girl for 4 years now, and our story is a rather complicated one. However, I'll cut it short for the sake of saving the eyes of those who decide to read this thread. She has a past, having been with 7+ men in her lifetime. I've never actually asked the exact number because I've never seen how it will help the situation. I've always been the jealous type, as I've been more of a traditionalist when it comes to sex and relationships. She on the other hand, has "been with" about every guy she has been with. I care about her, very much so, but at the same time, I don't know if I'll ever be able to deal with the jealousy I feel. Frankly, I don't know how I can ever feel special in a relationship with her, knowing that she had been with all of these guys and admits that she went into the relationships knowing they wouldn't last. So my question here is simple: is there anything that can be done for jealousy like this? I feel like I have to be more of a man than all of those from her past, like I'm still competing with them, though she insists that I'm special to her and I'm the one she wants. So I guess I'd just like to know if there's any magic phrase one can repeat to oneself which will alleviate jealousy, or do you think jealousy would be warranted in this case? Any input on the subject would be welcome... -AYS