I'm 25 and have faced (still facing) simliar problems to what you have stated.
I am shy also, and know about the feelings of anxiety and being scared of women. I avoided them all through high school, because of just being plain uncomfortable when around them, or just exhausted afterwards if I talked to them (good looking girls doesn't help at all). Nowadays I am much better, but it still requires an effort, and not one enough at this point in my life to bother with. I also do not have any friends outside of work, but mostly as a choice, as my social life at work is pretty good, and thereforeeeeeee I don't feel all that guilty if I come home and just crash on the couch. I get my social fix at work, but afterwards, I need to be by myself to unwind, because for me hanging around people tires me out somedays, but not always. One difference is, I don't often get lonely being by myself, so I rarely feel depressed.
Here are some good tips to overcome anxiety:
1) Avoid excess sugar -a stimulant
2) Avoid caffeine - a stimulant
3) Avoid alcohol - a stimulant
3) Get exercise (you probably hate gyms, so join a sport or go jogging, help confidence)
4) Self Talk helps when you feel like your head starts to get cloudy, just start thinking about the good things
5) Try to do one thing each day/week that you wouldn't normally do, to get out of your comfort zone.
6) Join a class or something that you are good at
7) Stop What-If thinking - this will cause exhaustion
8 ) Find people that you can talk to - they don't have to be your best friend, but someone that is easy to talk to
9) No more negativity - look on the bright side. Stay away from people who always complain and have nothing nice to say. - Stop watching the evening news, and get outside once in a while.
I hope that helps in some way. It's important to become comfortable with yourself, and once you do, you'll become more confident and you'll be surprised how far that will get you.
gonzo
