1994

The reason I haven't been in contact with you is because I've been hurting. This whole breakup has torn me apart and I hate myself more and more every day. But I think it's rude of you to send me a text like this, assuming I'm not hurting, assuming that I don't miss you and assuming that you meant nothing to me. I AM hurting. I DO miss you. And you meant EVERYTHING to me. But I don't regret breaking up with you, because I saw no sign of anything getting any better. I've told you several times by now that I wasn't feeling well in our relationship. I felt like I carried the weight of your anxiety and the weight of your expectations of me and I couldn't live with the pressure and the guilt you threw at me when I couldn't be the one you wanted me to be. And that is my fault for accepting to carry your well being for you, and that is something I have to work on. But you make it very hard for me to do so when you send me texts like this to me, accusing me of never having been honest or loving you, when I did all I could for you and for us. It breaks my heart that you show no signs of understanding what I went through in our relationship, and even less understanding of what I'm going through now. If you really love me you should let me go. Or you should at least try to see it all from my perspective before you send messages like this to me. Because right now you are only making it harder for both of us to heal properly...

Hi. I just wanted to tell you that I hope you are doing well and that you take care of yourself. I sometimes go to your Instagram page just to see what you are up to, and it makes me happy to see that you are enjoying yourself, as well as it makes me sad since your smile makes me remember all the good times we had. And I'm sorry for how it ended. I never meant to hurt you, but the relationship was taking it's toll on me and I felt like I had to break up. Like I had reached the point where I just couldn't see any future for us that didn't involve me changing completely into someone I'm not, or even worse, forcing you to change. I hope you understand that I love you and that I always will and that I know I broke your heart. I try to live with my decision every day and although I know it was the right decision for both of us, I just can't stop hating myself for it. You deserve all the best that life can give you.