Hi everyone just wanted to ask your opinion on my mother-in- laws actions.
(Excuse my spelling mistakes if there are any, english is not my native language).
My husband and I are trying to work on our marriage so this weekend (on saturday) we decided to go to a national park with mountains and spent the day there and we decided to invite his mother to come along. The reason we invited her is to thank her because she looks after our son when we go to work. We haven't taken him to day care yet.
So on saturday morning I got up at 8:30a.m. I asked my husband what time are we going he said around 10 or 11. So I got up then and started getting ready. When my mother in law textes my husband telling him I'm coming over and bringing something to eat before we leave(she lives very close near by). I told him just tell her when we're ready we will come pick you up. He told me he can't tell her that because it is unpolite telling someone not to come and she will get angry. He responded to her telling her "ok but don't hury because we just got up."
I got angry because this was direct pressure on me to get ready quicker. I had to change my one year olds diaper, feed him, change his clothes, make his milk to take with, get ready for my self and instead of doing all that I had to clean the apartment a little because I didn't want my mother in law to see a hectic apartment. Not even 30 minutes passed and she came. So the indirect pressure started she tried to help me get my son ready but really all she did was pressure me to do everything quicker. The whole time she was like did you eat? are you ready? Are we going? I was like yeah in e second I just have to do this, I even made them coffee so they'll sit down for a bit untill I get everything done.
This isn't the first time she pressures us. Everytime we go anywhere she wants to go quick she doesn't take much into consideration that I have a baby and I can't always leave on time. She expects us to leave right that minute we said we will, she needs to understand that.
So the whole time there me and my husband were angry. He was angry that I said those things about his mother and I was angry why he won't understand that she is pressuring us (especially me) too much.
So basically another fight and problem. Afterwards we again fought about another thing. He won't admit that his mother pressures us. He says that I am too slow and "incapable of getting ready on time". He thinks his mother is fast and a hard worker and that I am lazy and slow.
My question is, is her behavior normal or is she pressuring us too much? Am I wrong or is she.
Thank you ahead for your response. I would love if everyone answered the question and not focused on other things. Thanks