lostinlove2

God I miss you so much and I wish it wasn't this easy for you to move on.. I wish you were hurting and missing me too.. you always say I don't want to to be together right now.. like you really do just want to around and then come back to me. I want you so bad but I know it's not fair to wait around for you. I know it's not okay what you're doing bc I'm worth it. I'm worth giving up all the other girls. I worth standing by. I'm just worth it. you say you're not trying to move on and that you love me but you want to hurt me? I don't understand. it's only been a week and you are planning something with another girl a month in advanced. I hope she is just worth it you don't get to pick and choose when you want to love someone. you don't get to decide to put them on hold. when you love someone you really choose them. and you've never picked me. I have been here with you through hell and back and it's not fair anymore. I'm worth it. and I'll be worth it to someone. this hurts me so bad and I don't understand how you could leave the one who loves you the most in this world... to know your worth? you think by other girls wanting you that's your worth?? it's ed up and I'm not losing anything special. sure I lost my virginity to you but you weren't there for me when I was crying. you aren't here for me now when I found out something was wrong. you have never given me the same love I gave you ever. and we will never get back together. I refuse to do this again I refuse to let you get another chance to break my heart after deciding you're bored with me.. I'm done waiting for you until things don't work out with with your new little fling. you just want to have her to say you had her. you know you can have anyone you want but can you love someone else like you loved me? can you do that are they gonna love you how I loved you. I don't understand what goes through your head. I'm really focusing on moving on. I'm really not going to talk to you or see you.. I'm really going to leave this relationship in the past kinda how you left me. it's not worth the hurt anymore. I want to be happy too. I always put you first hoping one day you would do the same for me and that's never happened. this isn't a real love at all. you're the first person I've ever been in love with but you don't love me at all.. you're my first love but you have no emotional attachment to me. I never want to be with you again. I never want to sleep with you or hold you again. I never want to love you again for the rest of my life bc you don't deserve it honestly. you really think there is someone better out there for you? do you really truly believe that?? you like ing around because it pumps your head up.. or shows you your worth you think worth is associated with how many people want you.. it's not Ethan. you're not the one for me and I tried to change everything to make it fit that you were.. but you're not and you have never been the one for me. this is who you really are. you're mean you're selfish and you only care about you.. you could careless if I cry myself to sleep or how I feel about you already planning on spending your night with Deja. you've always liked her and I don't like when you lie to me and tell me you don't. you want to like her Ethan you want to be able to move on from me first and that's why you don't tell me to move on. you want me as a back up plan. you're so mean how could you look at me cry and beg you to pick me over Deja and you just sit there and say no I want to go with her. you're careless and selfish and I need to let you go. you picked someone else over me.. you chose another girl over me. and you can't come back after spending your last homecoming with her. you just can't I will feel used and unloved. I already do, and I knew you would go back to her. I already knew that would happen. you go back to the same girls every time Ethan until you them and then you feel accomplished and then it's over. you're so unhurt by this and it's crazy bc I hurt everyday. and you'll say things to hurt me and do things to hurt me. like you really already moved on to someone else? like already it's been a week Ethan and you can already have an interest in someone else. like you have no love me for at all and it's stupid and I hate it. I hate this so much. why don't you love me Ethan why don't you want to be with me. how can you pick someone else and not the one who really loves you.. you've never even met this girl. and now I have to force myself to move on. I have to retell myself that you aren't the one and you'll never be the one.