agaboo

Although i wasnt perfect, my love for you was real, if only we had communicated better, we'd have got the best out of eachother, worked together like couples should, been a team. You worked yourself up over so many little "problems" that it snowballed and gained momentum, and now im here, alone,wishing id seen it sooner. You'd pretend everything was fine, and keep it all to yourself, why? It doesn't have to be like this, it could have been so so different, if only you would have relaxed a bit, and allowed things to flow. The atmosphere in the last month was horrible looking back, i could feel it tightening its grip around my neck, squeezing the little confidence i had left out of me, for fear of making a mistake in your eyes. The guilt i feel is crippling, even though, deep down, wrapped somewhere in that tight knot thats been in my stomach for a month now, and isnt going away, is the knowledge that i did try, i did tow the line, but the clouds in your mind were so heavy and gloomy by that point, that you didnt want to try with me, you got so caught up in what wasn't to your liking, that you were blind to the efforts i did make. That doesn't take away from how awful i feel, how you are sat there now feeling "happier im gone", feeling like you made the "right decision". As soon is i mirrored your actions you didn't like it did you? straight away questioning me as to what the problem was, why i was being quiet? All after a half hour..... Now imagine feeling like that for over a month, non stop,day and night... and then you say to me i didn't seem settled and happy....... is it any wonder??