Coldarmy13

I appreciate everyone for taking the time. It has all resonated with me and I’m grateful for the input.

I’d say I have feeling about the same as I would any other time. I wasn’t going crazy or anything. Just my normal light beers. Id guess about 4 in the first couple hours before this. I have had my blood work done a couple times recently and looked pretty good.

I don’t work there and she just started working there. I do agree though

It was from a girl across the bar. I got the shot directly from the bartender though, so I’d imagine it was fine. No one brought over a drink to me. ive never acted that way or blacked out so thats what’s so bizarre.. maybe. I don’t know.

No it was just the one that was the tipping point I believe. I don’t mean to make it sound like an excuse, I messed up. It’s just that that’s never happened to me before. Like I’ve said before and thought I got across, I’m obviously at fault here in all ways.

You’re probably right. Thank you

I was a bit of a regular long before she started going or we met, but I understand what you’re saying. I’m just so embarrassed and sad about it and will be for awhile I’m sure.

Of course she was. I’m not saying any of her course of action was wrong at all. That was on me and not knowing maybe all the potential dangers of the new medication. Its was only meeting up there after work that night it happened. Was her first shift there. Before that we’d always just meet up there. I hadn’t suggested something else because we were just friends for most of the time until recently. I could have tried to make a date somewhere else though in the few weeks we starting seriously talking though. She knows about my meds and hopefully knows how out of character that was for me. Maybe not though. It’s just such a shame, truly.

It was horrendously irresponsible. We met there Friday by her request since she was going to hang out a bit after her shift ended. We had talked about how we were going to start going on some real dates and all of that was in motion.. well until this happened. We always met there as friends up until the last 2-3 weeks. In retrospect, I should’ve probably offered to take her somewhere after work elsewhere but she likes it there too and I guess I just got into the routine. She also just started working there. That Friday was her first shift actually. Then I did that. Trust me, I’ve been beating myself up ever since.

I’m sorry maybe I wasn’t clear on that super long post. What little I got from her is that I was really upset she wouldn’t come home with me. By reading the barrage of texts I sent her once I got home, it probably wasn’t nice. Which is so bizarre because I’ve been nothing like that since we’ve known each other and have been out drinking numerous times. My numerous apologies the entire weekend and attempted explanations the whole weekend after were about how I know I have no memory of what happened.. but from what I read I apologized for her going through that. That it had to be the medication, but that it didn’t make it right and she didn’t deserved any of that. Also, that she meant the world to me and all of what she said I did and what I read the next day was how I felt at all. It feels ridiculous, but that it was not me at all. I also apologized in person last Friday, to which she said she knows I’m sorry and that she needed time.

it’s good to see all the familiar faces still here and still helping others. Thank you ahead of time for reading the whole mess. I’ve been in a rough spot the last couple of weeks over an important friendship I had that was on the verge of becoming more.. before I ruined everything. We met at a bar we both frequent, where she recently started working at in the kitchen. We met about four months ago and hit it off as friends. Enjoying griping over online dating dates, shooting pool and people watching. She’s 30. About three months in, after breaking off a short term thing she had going, she starting getting sweet with me. We became closer. We’d meet up there twice a week, texting everyday. She’s a big texter and I was always happy for the conversation. She eventually told me how I was really great and that she loved me. She’d reiterate that along with other nice things like missing me and looking forward to the next time we’d go up there. I reciprocated of course, after allowing my walls to come down because I really believed her and had spent a lot of time together and talking about things. A few weeks ago she suggested that next time we meet up on that Tuesday, we should talk about us and maybe start really dating. To talk in person and really see if that was something we both wanted. I said I’d love to do that. It really feels like it grew organically. I was more than happy just being her friend. After she suggested that, and after a couple times where she kissed me after a couple of our usual me walking her to her car moments. Needless to say, I’ve really caught feelings the more it seemed to be heading in the direction of being together. I started taking a medication for my blood pressure a couple of weeks ago, that will come into play soon. I’ve been really careful about my drinking on account of it. Anyway, we meet up a week and a half ago with intention of talking more about how we felt about things. This night she got caught up in playing pool and chatting with others.. so she never came and sat down long enough for us to really talk. That annoyed me a bit because of it being her idea to broach the subject, in person that night, and simply playing pool instead. Seems like both could’ve happened. But I let that go. Fast forward to the following Friday, where we both talked the whole week about it and talking in person again about it. Her shift ran two hours over, and by the time she had come sit by me I had been drinking a bit. Someone sent me a shot of tequila, which I really don’t do shots anymore, but was in a good mood and drank it. She seemed really tired, understandably, just getting off of work, so I asked if she’d like to wait to talk about us for another time. She said yes. I accepted that and things were going okay after that. Maybe a half hour later, the lights went out. I remember nothing after that. Which is scary because I don’t remember going home, which I’m ashamed of because that isn’t responsible. I woke up the next morning and looked at our chat history and I just was going off on her for all kinds of stupid stuff. No memory of sending any of it. From the little she did tell me, we walked to our cars and I got really upset that she wouldn’t go home with me. The texts I sent after I got home are more of the same. I read all of that and my heart stopped. Such a scary thing, a majority of it was not how I felt about her. She didn’t deserve that at all. At 39 years old I’ve never blacked out from any amounts of drinking and can only assume it’s the medication in combination with the shot. Needless to say she was really upset at me and didn’t respond to any of my apologies and taking accountability for how I acted. Telling her what she means to me and that was way out of line. That it isn’t how I feel about us, that she didn’t deserve that whatsoever. Also that I have no recollection of any of it at all. She left my messages on read all weekend. Finally, on the following Monday, she blocked me. I’ve since seen her last Friday up there, where I cautiously approached her (we were with mutual friends up there) when the time seemed okay, and apologized to which she said knew I was sorry. She said she just needed time. Yesterday, Monday, she was by the entry to the kitchen when I walked in. I didn’t expect her to be working so I felt bad and didn’t want to force any conversation since she had said she needed time just a week and change before that. So I tried to walk through the people by her and pretended to not notice she was there. She hit me on the side to get my attention and we both said hi and she reached out for a half one armed hug. I asked her how work was and she said she was tired. That was pretty much it. Later in the night as I was leaving we had a little hug and I wished her a good shift and she thanked me and told me to drive safe. She could’ve just let me walk by, but she didn’t. I simply don’t know how to proceed, she still hasn’t unblocked me or reached out. I’m sure I’ll see her on Friday night. I don’t know I should feel it out and ask if we could talk, or just let it be and leave the ball in her court? Have no idea what to make of anything right now. I’ve felt awful for messing things up, albeit having no memory of what happened. Part of me really hopes, after four months of being pretty close, she’d see how out of character that was for me and give us another chance. Any advice would be appreciated.

Hey there friend! Yeah was bored yesterday and figured I’d browse here.

I find the longer you message back and forth, the less likely a meet up will occur. If we match during the week, I try and set up a date the upcoming weekend. Doesn’t always result in one but at least I can rule that person out in the event they’re waiting for something “better” or just looking for attention.

Even then, great, but don’t necessarily look as it as a chance to be with her. I wouldn’t put her in a pedestal right away. Look at it as an opportunity to meet someone new and see if she’s someone YOU would be interested in. Also, consider if you’re comfortable with someone who’s doted over so often each time she works. If jealousy has been any issue for you.

I’ve never bothered trying to flirt with a bartender. I read their kindness and flirting as just that, her job. That hundreds of guys probably hit on her every week, I just don’t want to be another one. Cant hurt to ask though. You’ll know for sure then.