Chimera1607306443

Hello again. Thank you all for your positive input, I appreciate it very much. I have some more comments and questions that I would like to share. I feel that you all have touched on a central issue: self-esteem. For the past few days, I have been observing myself as objectively as possible, and have witnessed the manifestations of my weakness. Simply observing something though, even from a purely objective viewpoint, does not solve the problem. I am sure that the only I can do is find a way to overcome the problem, and implement it. A question for gonzo: do you suggest also that I eliminate masturbation? If so, what are some reasons why? If not, why? Is there a difference between masturbation and "real" sex? If there is a difference, what do you think it is? I invite any one of you to answer these questions. I feel that several opinions are better than just one. I have also realized that I should not rush to find a girlfriend. I feel that doing so may result in unhappy circumstances. I have to ask myself if I really want to have a relationship right now. I also realize that I probably should not impose myself on anyone. I have gotten better at feeling, and am attuned to the vibes that people emanate. This allows me more clear decision making possibilities. Also, I know that a relationship based purely on sex is highly unstable. I realize this because, upon masturbating, my whole sexual drive vanishes. It rejuvenates, yes, but that fact alone would probably not make a relationship any more stable. Do any of you have any insights into what makes a stable or unstable relationship? I have an idea, but there are certainly many things that I do not know. Thank you all again for the information that you have provided, and look forward to hearing more.

Hello, I am a twenty year old male, currently enrolled in art college, and living with my parents. I am single, have never had a girlfriend, and have never had sex. These issues have been concerning me lately. I know that I am not homosexual, for I have confronted this issue seriously many times, and definitely find myself attracted to the opposite sex. I think that I have only recently become "attractive", though I am aware that looks alone are not sufficient for success. I also have overcome most aspects of my shyness, and have gained more weight and muscle. I have been observing that girls notice me, and are attracted to me. I receive signals, sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant, yet I have great difficulty in responding. I can feel the attitudes of girls toward me. I know that many attractive girls find me "sexy". My problem lies in myself, my own incapabilities, insecurities, and fears. When a girl that I am interested in is approaching, I become nervous, and try to avoid eye contact. When a girl looks at me, I usually fail to look back, and shut myself away. When a girl talks to me, I do not catch on fast enough to the possibility that I am being hit on. I certainly feel that I am good at communicating, but only when I am not depressed. I sometimes believe that it is useless to try, or that the girl does not really like me and is just messing with me, or that it will be some other guy to succeed with her. I just have this overall sense of being defeated before trying. My dilemma is that I have been experiencing difficulty in exercising my patience and perseverance. On one hand I feel that I want a girfriend, yet on the other, my confidence that it will ever happen is very low. I have no real friends, and I feel lonely when in a state of lowered consciousness such as I am experiencing. The trouble is that my issues are countering my efforts to reach higher consciousness, and I think that I need that higher consciousness to deal with my issues. This is creating a negative pattern in my life that I am finding very difficult to overcome. I would appreciate advice that anyone has to offer, or links to sites relating the same problems that I have expressed. Thank you for taking time to read this post, it is much appreciated.