I guess I’ll be Mr Unpopular here by saying: So, while you were dating your fiancé, now wife, you and the first girl professed your “strong feelings” for one another. Sounds to me like you never gave your marriage a chance. You don’t say whether you have children with your wife. However, you made a marriage covenant with your wife and that is where your obligation is. Perhaps you should honor that vow and be totally devoted to your wife—could totally revive that marriage. Of course it has been a struggle, with the constant “keeping in touch” from this first girl. You need to totally cut that off and only after giving your marriage the focus can you decide if you should stay together.
Why didn’t you and the first girl give it a shot before meeting your wife.