JandJMom

Thank you everyone. Like an idiot, I texted him "Good morning" this morning. It's been a few hours, he hasn't texted back. And, I don't know, I'm so sad. Just so sad. I'm at work, trying not to completely break down. I usually go to his house on Thursdays, because my kids are at their dad's. I don't know if I should go to his house and try to talk to him in person. Or if I should just let it go until he contacts me. Or just do what a lot of you have said and just block him. I don't have many people to talk to. I have friends, but I don't really like airing out all of my issues with them. But I'm so sad. I really loved him. Looking forward to a future with him. And a part of me feels so stupid for crying about it. I wish I had just let it all go 😢 I really really do. I hate this feeling. My kids are going to ask me where he is. And my family will. We spent a lot of time together, with the kids and without. I don't want them to look badly on him. I don't know. I'm just scared. I don't want to be alone 😢

😔 My self worth has been terrible since my ex husband. We've been together two years and other than a few disagreements, we've been good. And we had such a nice vacation together. I'm just sad 😔

He's literally never acted like that before. We have disagreements, he says I'm arguing with him, but he's not yelling or insulting me. He did lose his job about a month ago and it's been harder than I think he thought to get another job. I've been by his side, helping him wherever. He just was angry last night 😢 but I think he crossed a line last night. I haven't contacted him and he hasn't contacted me, so I guess it's whatever. I'll probably break down, but I'm trying my hardest not to. I know I don't need him. I've gotten through worse, but I've introduced him to my whole family, my kids. 😔😔

I don't know. He's never spoken to me that way. Never acted that way. Maybe I'm not making him feel needed or whatever it is he needs to feel. Last night was something I've never experienced from him 😔

I want to text my boyfriend, but I don't think that I should... We just came back from visiting his family 14 hours away. We were driving back yesterday, we were talking about how we had a good time up there and then he talked about how the kids played and entertained themselves. He's always mad about my kids. Says they don't listen, how they just want to be under me all the time, but then will go on to say that they're just kids. But he told me that they'll never be like the kids there (playing in the woods, just walking around town, stuff like that) because I coddle them and they'll never leave. That's not true. My daughter goes out with her friends and works. My son goes to school, practice, then wants to play his PlayStation. They do like to hangout with me and I like being with them, but they're 16 and 9. I don't think theyre much different than any other kids their age. They could help more around the house and I agreed with him when he said that, but other than that, they're good kids. I told him that they don't do the stuff those kids do because they didn't grow up like that. My kids will not have fun chopping up wood in the woods, just not what the kids here do. But he said that I was arguing with him. I wasn't yelling or anything, I was just telling him. He told me I always get "***y" and argue with him any time I bring up "my precious children." Told me that I make it so that he doesn't want to hang out with them because he feels like he can't say anything to them, which isn't true, but it's whatever. At that point, I stopped talking. I didn't ignore him, I answered him if he asked a question, but I didn't go out of my way to make conversation with him. A couple of hours later, he asked me what was wrong with me? I told him that I just didn't really want to talk because whenever we were having a conversation and I say something he doesn't agree with, he says I'm arguing with him and I don't want to do that. I don't want to argue. I also made a comment, that I didn't need him to tell me how to drive, that I've driven long distance a million times. I actually took over driving because he "spaced out" and almost crashed my car. We spun out on the highway. I didn't say that to him though. But he flipped out. Started yelling at me, telling me that I just like to tell him he's wrong about everything, that he just being the "copilot" but that he guesses that I don't know what that means because I sucked at it. Just pissed off. I told him that I wasn't trying to make him mad and that I didn't mean it how it came out. He told me that he didn't know why we were together if I just wanted to do everything by myself, driving and the kids. I told him that's not true, but he said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. So we go a few more hours of not really talking, but then we get almost home and he starts making snide comments about my driving. He was actually being really mean about it and I told him to relax, it was raining, I couldn't really see and I didn't want to drive so fast. He told me to just shut up and drive. So I told him to shut up and just go to sleep. And then he started yelling at me again. At this point, I just start bawling. I couldn't even help it anymore. I told him I didn't even know what was happening and why he was so mad at me. It was like 10 at night, we'd be in the car for 12 hours already, I just wanted to go home. He told me to stop crying and stop with the pity party and that he couldn't wait to get home. I tried to apologize, and he just told that he didn't want to talk about it. We got home a little after midnight, he threw his stuff in his truck and drove back to his house. I haven't heard from him since. I'm so upset because I don't like fighting. I don't want him to feel like I don't need him. With the kids, I do think he's a little harsh, lacking patience. He always tells me that he raised two kids, but I still think it's a little different. I don't know what to do. I want to call him and just apologize. But then again, he's never yelled at me before. Never actually been that mad. And I'm so hurt by the comments he was making. He was like a child last night. Never told me to shut up. He just made me feel so stupid last night. I don't know how to explain it. And I know he's not going to apologize, he never does. I dont know what I should do.

Thanks, everyone. Last night, I went over there and ended up having a really good night. We went to dinner and then he took me out for ice cream that we ate in the bed of his truck. Then he said that I need to stop being so hard on myself and so insecure about him. He told me that he knows I don't believe him but he wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be with me. And that even if we're fighting, I've got to just tell him that he's being an *** because I will back down because I don't want to fight. He told me that he loves me and that I was worth all of it. He told me that I don't need to worry about his friend, ever. I honestly didn't even bring up the show that we were supposed to go to. I should of but I don't know, I wasn't mad about it anymore. He does definitely treat me like his gf. And when I'm with them, I know nothing is going on. I think I'm honestly just jealous at how close they are. I'm not going to mention them anymore, unless it's an actual problem. But I am going to make sure that if he starts to show that I'm not a priority to him, that he knows that I've got my own life and stuff, too. Not waiting around for him whenever I'm free.

Ugh, but it's not all the time. Most of the time, he makes me feel so special. But any kind of conflict, he gets angry. The next day we can talk it over calmly. I just wish that I was one of those girls who could just drop people 😔 I feel like I give everyone 80 chances. Until they leave me and make me look stupid. 😫 I don't know how to break things off. Then I always feel like that was my last chance and I'll never find anyone again.

I am going to focus more on my stuff. I've been trying to make him know that he is a priority to me. And he does come over, every now and then, he comes to my son's sports games, we hang out with the kids when they're not busy (my teenager works now and my son has football every night). He does do things for me. I'm just feeling very insecure about us right now. 😔. I do have a life outside of him, though. I've put it on the back burner a little bit because, I like to be with him. But maybe he needs to see that Im with him because I want to be with him, but I can certainly do something else if he doesn't see that.

I really am trying to work on this. And my kids aren't super young. But I feel anxious anytime I have to change plans and maybe he's still mad at this. But stuff comes up and I shouldn't have to be afraid to tell him that I need to change them. Last night when we talked, I just asked him to be more aware of my feelings. And he said he'd work on that but asked if it could go both ways. I told him that I am working on it because he's worth it and that hopefully I am too. He told me I was. But now, lying about why he doesn't want to go on Thursday. Like 1, I couldn't easily check on that myself. And 2, like I would be upset that we didn't go. I'm cool for anything. Laying around watching TV or going out. I'm tired of bringing things up. Maybe I should let it go? It's not that big of a deal, but I hate that he lied to me and why?? I'm trying so hard to trust him. But I feel like I'll never be able to trust him because he'll lie about stupid stuff. 😫 I'm going to try to bring it up in a way that I'm not mad or whatever, just want to know why. But I feel like he's just going to get defensive and mad.

Sometimes. I usually do, but I don't know what's happening now. I haven't been in many relationships. And my ex husband and I were married when I was 22 and I finally moved out when I was 36. I haven't been in a real relationship since and I don't know how it works. And now I'm so anxious because I don't know what's going on 😔

No, I honestly didn't even mention her. I told him that I felt like he was ignoring me all day and then when I tried to talk to him he was basically like well, I was going to tell you about my day but youre not coming over anymore. And then stopped talking to me. That's when I went over there to see him, but his friend was over. I told him that what he said kind of hurt my feelings. One day he'll say don't worry about ever having to cancel because of the kids (which I hardly ever do) but on the other hand will be annoyed when I have to change plans. I told him that sometimes he doesn't seem like he cares about my feelings. Like when he asked if I was ok, I honestly wanted to ask him would it matter if I wasn't? I will say, he's not a feelings type of guy. He likes to show how he feels with touch, not even in a sexual way, but holding my hand, stuff like that. And he always tells me that he's not great with words. But still, like a quick text even just telling me youre busy is all that I need.

Thank you everyone. I honestly don't know what's going on. We kind of talked about everything last night and he said he'd try to do better. Today I went over for a little bit and he was a little quiet. It felt like he might be a little mad. I just stopped by after work for a little bit and then went to hang out with my daughter for a bit. So it was only an hour or so. But he seemed a little distant. We were talking about doing more date night things last week and we were looking at a comedy show. I asked him if he wanted to still go and he told me that the show had sold out. I double checked after I left and it's not sold out. 😔 So I'm not sure exactly what's going on now. Tomorrow, I'll be over for our regular night out, so we'll have some actual time together. I guess we will discuss everything then. I don't want to break up with him. But I don't know, I don't know that he cares enough to talk everything through in a calm manner tomorrow. I don't want to fight.

Yes. She's never hanging on him or anything. And we've hung out before. Like I said, I honestly don't think that anything would happen between them. And he helps her out a lot, but he's never been like "Hey, I've got to cancel on you because I've got to go help her do whatever". But he's defensive about her, whenever I say anything. I don't always feel like they spend a lot of time together. But the week of the 4th, he had to go over there to help her build a grill. Then we go to the BBQ, her friends asking who I was and oh "I thought you guys were together". He cooked the whole time we were there for her and her friends. Then the next day, he had to go over to help her with a fan or something. I mean, it's friend stuff, I know. But sometimes, it's excessive. And then to barely even talk to me all day and then I go there because I feel bad, she's laying on the couch was just too much I felt like. But maybe it's me

I honestly think that this is it. And I'm trying really hard to accept it. Most of the time I'm fine with it. And honestly, I work a decent amount so I can't always do stuff with him. He doesn't see her that often, I guess. And I know I can't tell him "no, I can't go with you but you have to go alone". I'm jealous of their relationship, I guess. And she wasn't really a problem anyway until about Christmas time. That's when she was injured at work and she couldn't drive for a little bit and I feel like he's been spending a lot of time with her really since then. But still, I'm with him most of the time, when we're not working. But she does call and text him a lot. And even the comments of them being a couple, they probably thought they were a couple before I came around. I don't know. I know it's a me thing and I'm fine with it 95% of the time. I know that it's not really going to change though, so I either get over it or move on. A part of me wanted to tell my friend to start texting and calling more. I know my boyfriend would not like it. But that's just me being petty 😒😒

I feel like we've had this conversation so many times. It's a little different. It has nothing to do with her. It's him not doing the one thing that I asked him to do. And if he even cares. I don't know. A part of me is scared to find out.