JandJMom

Thanks, everyone. Last night, I went over there and ended up having a really good night. We went to dinner and then he took me out for ice cream that we ate in the bed of his truck. Then he said that I need to stop being so hard on myself and so insecure about him. He told me that he knows I don't believe him but he wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be with me. And that even if we're fighting, I've got to just tell him that he's being an *** because I will back down because I don't want to fight. He told me that he loves me and that I was worth all of it. He told me that I don't need to worry about his friend, ever. I honestly didn't even bring up the show that we were supposed to go to. I should of but I don't know, I wasn't mad about it anymore. He does definitely treat me like his gf. And when I'm with them, I know nothing is going on. I think I'm honestly just jealous at how close they are. I'm not going to mention them anymore, unless it's an actual problem. But I am going to make sure that if he starts to show that I'm not a priority to him, that he knows that I've got my own life and stuff, too. Not waiting around for him whenever I'm free.

Ugh, but it's not all the time. Most of the time, he makes me feel so special. But any kind of conflict, he gets angry. The next day we can talk it over calmly. I just wish that I was one of those girls who could just drop people 😔 I feel like I give everyone 80 chances. Until they leave me and make me look stupid. 😫 I don't know how to break things off. Then I always feel like that was my last chance and I'll never find anyone again.

I am going to focus more on my stuff. I've been trying to make him know that he is a priority to me. And he does come over, every now and then, he comes to my son's sports games, we hang out with the kids when they're not busy (my teenager works now and my son has football every night). He does do things for me. I'm just feeling very insecure about us right now. 😔. I do have a life outside of him, though. I've put it on the back burner a little bit because, I like to be with him. But maybe he needs to see that Im with him because I want to be with him, but I can certainly do something else if he doesn't see that.

I really am trying to work on this. And my kids aren't super young. But I feel anxious anytime I have to change plans and maybe he's still mad at this. But stuff comes up and I shouldn't have to be afraid to tell him that I need to change them. Last night when we talked, I just asked him to be more aware of my feelings. And he said he'd work on that but asked if it could go both ways. I told him that I am working on it because he's worth it and that hopefully I am too. He told me I was. But now, lying about why he doesn't want to go on Thursday. Like 1, I couldn't easily check on that myself. And 2, like I would be upset that we didn't go. I'm cool for anything. Laying around watching TV or going out. I'm tired of bringing things up. Maybe I should let it go? It's not that big of a deal, but I hate that he lied to me and why?? I'm trying so hard to trust him. But I feel like I'll never be able to trust him because he'll lie about stupid stuff. 😫 I'm going to try to bring it up in a way that I'm not mad or whatever, just want to know why. But I feel like he's just going to get defensive and mad.

Sometimes. I usually do, but I don't know what's happening now. I haven't been in many relationships. And my ex husband and I were married when I was 22 and I finally moved out when I was 36. I haven't been in a real relationship since and I don't know how it works. And now I'm so anxious because I don't know what's going on 😔

No, I honestly didn't even mention her. I told him that I felt like he was ignoring me all day and then when I tried to talk to him he was basically like well, I was going to tell you about my day but youre not coming over anymore. And then stopped talking to me. That's when I went over there to see him, but his friend was over. I told him that what he said kind of hurt my feelings. One day he'll say don't worry about ever having to cancel because of the kids (which I hardly ever do) but on the other hand will be annoyed when I have to change plans. I told him that sometimes he doesn't seem like he cares about my feelings. Like when he asked if I was ok, I honestly wanted to ask him would it matter if I wasn't? I will say, he's not a feelings type of guy. He likes to show how he feels with touch, not even in a sexual way, but holding my hand, stuff like that. And he always tells me that he's not great with words. But still, like a quick text even just telling me youre busy is all that I need.

Thank you everyone. I honestly don't know what's going on. We kind of talked about everything last night and he said he'd try to do better. Today I went over for a little bit and he was a little quiet. It felt like he might be a little mad. I just stopped by after work for a little bit and then went to hang out with my daughter for a bit. So it was only an hour or so. But he seemed a little distant. We were talking about doing more date night things last week and we were looking at a comedy show. I asked him if he wanted to still go and he told me that the show had sold out. I double checked after I left and it's not sold out. 😔 So I'm not sure exactly what's going on now. Tomorrow, I'll be over for our regular night out, so we'll have some actual time together. I guess we will discuss everything then. I don't want to break up with him. But I don't know, I don't know that he cares enough to talk everything through in a calm manner tomorrow. I don't want to fight.

Yes. She's never hanging on him or anything. And we've hung out before. Like I said, I honestly don't think that anything would happen between them. And he helps her out a lot, but he's never been like "Hey, I've got to cancel on you because I've got to go help her do whatever". But he's defensive about her, whenever I say anything. I don't always feel like they spend a lot of time together. But the week of the 4th, he had to go over there to help her build a grill. Then we go to the BBQ, her friends asking who I was and oh "I thought you guys were together". He cooked the whole time we were there for her and her friends. Then the next day, he had to go over to help her with a fan or something. I mean, it's friend stuff, I know. But sometimes, it's excessive. And then to barely even talk to me all day and then I go there because I feel bad, she's laying on the couch was just too much I felt like. But maybe it's me

I honestly think that this is it. And I'm trying really hard to accept it. Most of the time I'm fine with it. And honestly, I work a decent amount so I can't always do stuff with him. He doesn't see her that often, I guess. And I know I can't tell him "no, I can't go with you but you have to go alone". I'm jealous of their relationship, I guess. And she wasn't really a problem anyway until about Christmas time. That's when she was injured at work and she couldn't drive for a little bit and I feel like he's been spending a lot of time with her really since then. But still, I'm with him most of the time, when we're not working. But she does call and text him a lot. And even the comments of them being a couple, they probably thought they were a couple before I came around. I don't know. I know it's a me thing and I'm fine with it 95% of the time. I know that it's not really going to change though, so I either get over it or move on. A part of me wanted to tell my friend to start texting and calling more. I know my boyfriend would not like it. But that's just me being petty 😒😒

I feel like we've had this conversation so many times. It's a little different. It has nothing to do with her. It's him not doing the one thing that I asked him to do. And if he even cares. I don't know. A part of me is scared to find out.

I think you're right about that. Whenever we talk about it, he gets so mad. Asking me why I don't trust him and that he doesn't feel that way about her. But if she needs him, he's going to be there for her. He said she's important. And he would do the same for me, he's offered to help pay for things. When it's me and him or us and the kids, he's really good to me. And he does tell people he's with me. I just told him that I'm trying to trust that he won't lie to me. And maybe he just thinks it's not lying, but it's not telling me. I'm really just upset that he kind of ignored me yesterday and had an attitude that I wasn't staying over his house last night. It was through text, so I'm trying not to read into it, but I know he knew that he messed up when I showed up there. He told me I don't ever have to call or whatever to come over, so I didn't.

He asked me about an hour ago if everything was ok. I don't know how to answer it, so I'm not yet. Luckily, I'm at work. A part of me wants to be petty and ask if it would matter if it was or not. I don't want to fight about it. I'm honestly just upset because he didn't even want to talk to me yesterday. Its fine if he was just busy. But if he was hanging out, even if it was being busy but with her hanging around and not even want to tell me what he did all day, that part hurts my feelings. But I don't want to fight, and I feel like he'll think I'm trying to fight. I don't know. How should I answer him?

He does have kids and she helped him out with his kids when they would come stay for the summer. She helped him when he was going through custody battles and all of that stuff, too. His kids are grown now and live up north, near their mom. I will say, that literally I feel good about our relationship 95% of the time. I do get to spend a decent amount of time with him, without her. He hangs out with my kids, when they're not busy. We do stuff together. We just went on a week long vacation to his home town. I met the little bit of family that he does talk to, all that. He told me that I need to stop and that the only way that I'm getting rid of him is if I don't want to be with him anymore. He said he's only brought two other people up to meet his family and that that should tell me something. He tells me that he's happy with me. I am actually happy with him. But she is the only hiccup I have. And again, not even her, but him not being as transparent as I'd like him to be with me. A part of me feels like I am being crazy because I'm almost positive that I wouldn't even bat an eye if she was a guy. That's why I'm worried about am I overreacting? But I think a part of me knows that this is a weird dynamic though, too. I'm torn. I want to be with him. But it feels like he doesn't care about how I feel about it anyway. Thats the part that hurts. 😔

Am I wrong here? I'm going to try to keep this short. My boyfriend has a very close friend. They've been friends since he moved here 10 years ago and she's helped him through a lot, with his ex and with his kids. They've never been together romantically or sexually. But, they would do everything together, so even now, there are people who think that they are together. I've known about her almost since day one, but didn't meet her until 9 months in, which he was kind of defensive about me meeting her. He said that he doesn't have much family and that she is like his family, so meeting her, his only friend, was a big deal and he didn't want me meeting her unless he thought we were staying together. We were at a BBQ at her house and people were asking who I was, and when he told them, they asked when him and said friend broke up? His friend laughed and said that they were never together like that. Just they're really close and that "he can't help how other people see them". My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. We had a kind of argument about it. She calls him for everything. It feels like if she needs a lightbulb screwed in, she calls her. If she has a problem with her kids, she calls him. She ended up getting hurt at work and was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury and he had to drive her around, she wasn't working, so he was buying her groceries. She went on vacation, he drove her to the airport 3 hours away, they stayed in the same hotel room. But he was telling me about it and at first he just kept saying he had to take his "buddy" to the airport. Then as the time came closer, I learned that it was her. I learned everytime he said "buddy" or "friend" it was her. Only her. I don't believe that anything is going on. I just don't understand why he can't just say me and said friend are doing whatever. We had an argument about it. One, I was uncomfortable about people always thinking they were together. I asked him what they were doing to make people think that they were a couple? That's when he said that he can't help what other people think of them. It's just not true. They're just really close friends and he doesn't have anyone he can trust like that. He said that if they would go shopping together for like a couch or something, they would act like they were married to get a better deal or something. He just bought a couch in February, I was supposed to go shopping with him for it, but the one day he asked, I had to do something with my son. So he asked her to go and they did it then. I know this sounds stupid, but I told him I was really uncomfortable with that. They sometimes do act like a married couple, but it's because they've just been doing stuff together for so long. I feel like an outsider to them. And sometimes, I really do feel like why aren't you with her, why are you with me? It does make me insecure. But he says I don't trust him and that it's my problem. I asked that day if he could just, you know, just tell me when they're together. A lot of times, he's with her and just doesn't say it and I just find out through him talking that something that he was telling me that he was doing, stupid stuff, shopping or whatever, he was doing it with her. He was actually mad that night but he told me that he just doesn't think about it but he will try to tell me. He told me, though, that he wants to be with me and that I need to trust him. That if he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't. I need to stop stressing over us, because our relationship shouldn't add any stress to my life. It should make it better. He says that, but I just don't understand why he can't see it from my point of view? Leading to last night...We have family in town. I live with my parents to save up money, plus they live in the same town that my ex and I live in, so my kids can keep going to their schools. I had originally planned to stay over my boyfriends house and my kids were going to go to their dads. But my kids wanted to spend more time with their cousins and my daughter asked if I could stay with them, whatever. So I changed that. So maybe he was annoyed, but it literally would have just been to sleep there, like 10pm until 6am, and I'd get up and go to work. But maybe he was annoyed with that. I barely heard from him yesterday. I tried to ask what he was doing, but he didn't answer. I asked three times while I was at work, but I barely got any responses from him and he never would answer what he had planned for the afternoon. I was planning on going to see him for a few after work, before I went to my family's to have dinner with them. No big deal, it was Saturday and he was probably busy working on his truck and stuff. It was cool, I'd talk to him later. He texted me around 6 and said that he hoped that I had a good day at work. I told him that it was ok, it was crazy. I told him that I missed hearing from him and all that. I asked him what he'd been up to all day? I asked if he was working on his truck? And he just replied, "well, I was going to tell you all about my day when I saw you but I guess 🤷". And I was mad at that a little bit. We're not kids. But whatever, I didn't want to argue. I just told him that he knew I had family here and that I was actually trying to ask him what he was doing all that day, but he never answered. I told him that I just figured he was busy and would talk to him later. I left it at that. Anyway, I feel a little bad and I had about an hour before I needed to go pick my 16 year old up from work, so I go over to his house and call him to let him know I'm there. He comes to let me in and is just like "oh yeah, (his friend) is hanging out. She's on the couch". I just nod and laugh and go hang out. He doesn't say anything to me. I talk with her, I like her, I have no problems with her. But I realize that they've probably been together the whole day. That's why I've barely heard from him. I talk to her, i need to go pick up my daughter so I leave. I honestly try to leave alone, but he walks me out. He hasn't talked to me the whole time I was there, but it's whatever they were watching a movie I was talking to her. He laughs and is like, yeah she just was bored. I'm so tired of her though, I'm going to take her home now. I just laugh and say yeah yeah yeah and he kisses me and I leave. I know they're not sleeping together or anything. But for some reason, the way he just doesn't tell me when they're together, even though that's the only thing I asked, just makes me so insecure. I just don't understand why he makes a point to keep it from me. Is it because he thinks I'm going to get mad? Does he really just not think that it's a big deal? Is it in protest, because he doesn't want to see like he's checking in with me or whatever? My feelings are hurt though. Last night, he texted me goodnight and that was it. He just texted good morning, like nothing even happened last night. And I don't even know what to say? Maybe I shouldn't even be hurt by it. They technically weren't doing anything wrong. I'd never ask him to not be friends with her or not hang out. I'm not even asking for an invite or anything. I'm just asking that he just say "hey, me and so and so are going to get some food". It's just weird that he hides it like that. I really wouldn't care at all if he was just up front. But him not telling me is just annoying me. And when we talk about it, it always comes back to me not trusting him. I don't not trust him when it comes to them doing anyway, but I don't trust him not to lie to me about things and I don't like that. I guess what I'm asking is should he have to tell me that he's hanging out with his friend?

So, when I asked that question, it was more of a sarcastic comment. I know that my kids come first and I'm super close to my kids. I think I'm just trying to figure out how to do it all, you know? I don't think that I know how to be a good parent and girlfriend at the same time? And I always feel like I'm neglecting someone. I feel bad leaving my kids the 2 nights that I do. I'm used to seeing them everyday, now it barely feels like I see them half of the week. Maybe it's my feelings that are just messing everything up. My kids always come first. Even last night, he didn't say anything about me spending time with the kids. I just want to know how to make time for all 😩

I just want to know if I'm doing something wrong here? I feel like I'm trying so hard to make everyone happy but maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I should just end things now before I get hurt, or before I hurt him. I finally met and started dating a guy that has his stuff together, very sweet, everything that I ever wanted, for the most part. When we're together, honestly, everything is perfect. But I'm still trying to figure out if I'm balancing everything out the right way. My kids go to their dad's house Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other weekend. I don't stay the night at his house on the weeknights (even though I know that he wants to) because I feel like I should be there in the mornings with the kids. But I will spend the night there on nights where stay with their dads, which is every other weekend. I do usually have to work those weekends though, especially now with the holidays. But I felt like we'd actually been seeing eachother a decent amount lately. He's met the kids, so we'll go to dinner with the kids or just do something with them. I'll ask him to go shopping or something with me sometimes. But usually at least 2 times a week, we'll see eachother. I try to give the kids their time with me, too, though, just because I feel like they deserve that too (they're 8 and 16). He's always said that he understands and that the kids come first. Anyways, last night is Thursday, and since we usually see eachother on Thursdays, I didn't really think anything of it. I asked if he felt like going to Home Depot tonight. I assumed I was going over there, so I was more of asking if he felt like leaving the house last night. And he said that he couldn't because he had to go to a friends house and help move furniture. And honestly, I was dissappointed. So I said, "Awww. It's ok, I should have made sure that you were free earlier for me to come over". And then he said well maybe I could come over afterward and I said that it was ok. That it might be late anyway. And then I told him to have fun moving furniture, and laughed. And then he literally replied with "Okey dokey, I tried 🤷‍♂️" and I don't know, it kind of hurt my feelings and then made me feel like he didn't really care. So I told him that I knew it was just a text, but that we usually spent Tuesdays and Thursdays together, so I was a little caught off guard that he had made plans. I also said that it didn't seemed like he cared if I came over or not. And honestly, I feel like he wouldn't have even said anything if I hadn't asked about going to the store. I told him that it wasn't a big deal, but that I was just looking forward to seeing him last night. Then he came back with that I never said anything coming over that day and he didn't know why I was making a big deal about him making plans when he never says anything about when I go out with my friends or to see my brother. I've gone out with my friends once on a Tuesday and it was like 2 weeks ago. I haven't even hung out with them since I started seeing him, because I wanted to see him. And my brother, we went this weekend. This wasnt even one of my weekends that I would have been with him. 😔 I answered him that he was right and that it was my fault for making assumptions about last night. Then, I didn't hear from him the rest of the night until I told him that I hoped he had a good night. He told me goodnight. I texted him good morning this morning and he texted good morning and that's all that I've heard from him today. So, long story short, I feel like he's telling me that he's not ok with how we've been seeing eachother. I honestly think that I could love him and when we're together, it really feels good to be with him. But, maybe he's not happy with how things are going. But is there a way that I can fix it? Am I spending too much time with my kids? Or working? Not enough with him? Or should I just end it because he's not happy because I shouldn't sacrifice time with my kids. I want to be happy. I honestly would like to be happy with him. Am I not sacrificing enough to spend time with him.

So, I've finally reached a point where everything is going well, for the most part. And I've been dating a guy for a little more than 2 months now and it's going pretty good. But a part of me feels like I don't know how this is supposed to work now. I have my two kids. One is a third grader and one is a high schooler. I don't know how to juggle dating and being a busy, involved mom. And I also work, full time, and I'm off every Wednesday and every other weekends. He works M-F, off on the weekends. So, for the most part, we get 1-2 nights together a week. We don't talk on the phone much, but we text throughout the day. We met on Facebook dating in May. Before we met in person, we talked for hours on the phone or on text. We don't talk much now, but I think it's because we see eachother in person and talk then. Is that normal? And is seeing eachother 1-2 nights a week normal? My son has football practice every night. His dad will maybe take him 2 nights of the week, but I try to go see James those nights. I also work every other weekend, but try to spend as much time with the kids when I'm off as I can. They stay with their dad on the weekends that I work. So, I usually go hang out with James, then also. But we haven't gotten a full day together. I'm afraid that I'm not giving him the time that he deserves. He says that he knows what he signed up for and loves that I'm an involved mom. But I'm afraid he's going think that I'm too busy for him and I don't want him to think that I'm just kind of penciling him in where I can fit him. I'd honestly like him to make the plans and I can make it work, because other than the first like 3 dates, I've been the one saying "well, hey, let's do something on this day". I'm afraid things will start fizzling out and I really like him😔. This week, I saw him Tuesday night and was supposed to see him last night, but mentioned that I had to take my daughter to her friends house and then pick her up, and instead of him saying "Well, ok, we can meet up for a quick dinner or something just so we can see eachother" he was just like "ok, well, that's fine. I guess I'll see you sometime next week". I tried to tell him that we could see eachother for a bit and he just said that he didn't want me to feel rushed. And I'm not going to lie, I was a little upset. He told me this morning that he hoped that I didn't feel like he didn't want to see me, that he was just trying to make me feel like I didn't have to rush, but it did kind of feel like that. Is it ok for me to talk to him about that? Maybe tell him that, I kind of want him to make the plans even if I may not be able to do them?

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sure I'm not making any right decision anymore. I just want everyone to be ok and to be happy, but I feel like it's never going to happen. There are some other posts in here about my husband and I. But basically, we had communication issues that led to me feeling not appreciated and him feeling the same, but instead of talking about it, he sought out other people. I'm not in love with him and can't see myself with him romantically anymore but I honestly do care about him and don't want him to be alone. I honestly want him to be happy and I'll do what I can to make sure that he can be, but maybe that is a pipe dream. But my kids are also suffering and I don't know what to do anymore. So, 4 years ago, my husband told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore. First, he told me that he was leaving, cleaned out his 401k, left it for me and the kids, and went back to Massachusetts. He told me he would get a job and then we could figure out custody and stuff. He didn't tell the kids that he was leaving, they were 10 and 3 at the time. He told my 10 year old that he would come back for her 5th grade graduation. She waited for him all day that day and he never showed up. He called her and told her that he was on his way, which I actually thought that he was coming back, because who would lie to their 10 year old about that? He never showed up. She stayed up, worried that something happened to him, only for him to call her at midnight to tell her sorry he didn't make it. I don't think I'll ever forgive him for that night and I honestly don't know that she will either. Anyway, I found out later that he met a girl and they made plans to be together and he was moving up there to be with her. Well, they broke up 2 weeks after him getting there and he couldn't find a job, so he came back home. I found this out later and I actually thought that he was coming home to work things out. He actually came home a depressed mess and barely left his room. He ignored the kids for 2 years. Didn't go to any school events, didn't go to any games or classes, didn't want to hang out with us at all. He would tell my then 4 year old son that he hated me and my family and that everyone hated him. I asked him to go to counseling but he wouldn't go. I told him we could go to family counseling, wouldn't go. Fast forward to now, my kids are now 7 and 14. We finally moved out a few months ago because my husband basically kicked us out and it's been almost worst since. I was attempting to buy a house, but to keep my kids in the same school, I'd have to stay in this area and with the housing market the way it is, it's been so hard. As soon as the real estate agent sends me something, it's under contract within hours. Most of the houses in this area are $400,000+, but I can afford the townhouses, but they just sell too fast. My husband says that he is too broke to help out. He still pays my daughter and my phone bills and the insurance. He tells me that he won't be able to live at all if he has to pay child support, so I haven't really asked him for anything. I'm living with my parents now, so it's not really an issue. Other than my dad pressuring me to take him to court or at least talk to him. Whenever, I bring anything up to him though, he just says that everyone hates him and that he can't do anything. That he'll never be happy and that if he just dies then no one will even care. He mentions suicide to me at least once a week. And he's been drinking a lot. He told me the kids could come over whenever they want, but there's been many times where he's told me, well I've been drinking, not today. But now, my daughter is 14, she's old enough to know things. And she knows most everything that's happened and so, she doesn't always want to talk to him. And his feelings are hurt. And I feel bad about it, but I don't know what to do with it. I do make her go there every now and then, and at first she would usually do it. But now, she doesnt always want to go. The house is dirty all the time though and he only has junk food. I've tried to go over to clean, but he gets so mad when I do, but I don't want my kids thinking that its ok. But now, it's Christmas break and his job, he gets off for it too, and I told him that the kids would probably stay there until Christmas day. Yesterday was their first day off. My daughter ended up going shopping with me and my family, so I dropped my son off early. We got back around 4 and I took her over. My son had a playdate, so I left with him and got back around 730. I actually needed them to stay over so that I could get some gifts wrapped and stuff for Christmas. Well, I got back and I was going to go to the store to pick up some gifts, but my daughter wanted to come with me, so I couldnt really do what I needed to do. So I told her it was too late to go and that I was just going back home. She said that she wanted to go home with me, she didnt feel like staying the night tonight. I actually told her that she should and she said that she knows but that her stuff was still at her grandparents house (her laptop and clothes). My husband asked if she was staying with him that night and she said no. Then my husband starts to tell my 7 year old that his sister doesnt like them anymore and that she should just stay away. He told her that she just shouldnt come over anymore since she hates him. That he was locking the door and not to even come back for christmas because christmas was cancelled for her. And just kept saying it. He always says that people hate him though, so at first I was just like "no, she doesnt hate you, she's just trying to get away from her brother" and that my parents just go a new tv and they put the old 55" tv in the room shes staying so she has like the ultimate set up now. I told him that she was coming back tomorrow and then I told my son that I would stay the night christmas eve because santa was coming! But her dad just kept going because he was upset and I realized that he was actually upset. But he was being so mean to her. He was telling her that she wasn't welcome back to the house because she hated them (him and my son). And so then I was just trying to relax everyone, I was just like it's ok, no one hates anyone, she'll be back tomorrow. Then my daughter is just pleading with me to leave, so we leave. My son wanted to stay, and I didnt want to upset anyone else, so I let him stay. My daughter breaks down in the car and tells me that she doesnt want to go back and that she just doesn't like it there. And I try to assure her that it's ok and that her dad is just sad now. I try to lighten the mood and tell her that her dad doesn't realize that he's got a "gothy, angsty teenager" now that just likes to hang out in her room on the phone with her friends and that he'll be ok. I told her that it was still her house, too, and that he just doesnt know how to express his emotions when his feelings are hurt. And that she needed to stay there the next night and christmas eve. She told me ok, we went home. Well, my husband is sending me a 1000 texts. Saying that we hurt him more than we know and that he feels like he's lost a daughter. Telling me that we should just never come back. And I'm like she's still a kid, like how can you treat her like she's your ex, when she's your child. And then he tells me that no one ever cares about how he feels and that his feelings dont matter. That one day my son is going to go running in the house, excited to see him and he's going to be dead. I told him that Ive invited him to every family event that we've had the last 4 years. Every game. Every school function. Every teacher meeting. He's turned down almost everything. There was like a year that he tried, but it was already 2 1/2 years in to him ignoring them. My son was young enough to be happy about it, but my daughter not so much. I told him that they needed to do some counseling together. That my daughter is sad and angry about everything, too. But he said no. He's giving up on her and he said that I should have forced her to stay last night. A few minutes go by and I get 3 phone calls from his number. No one answered until the 3rd call when my son finally answered. And it broke my heart. He asked me to come get him because his daddy was in the bed crying and it was going to make him cry too. He said that his daddy thinks that everyone hates him and thinks that he's just going to be alone. So I told him that I was coming and asked him if he wanted mommy to stay with him there that night. So I got there and my son told me that he was glad that I came and that hopefully his daddy will know that nobody hates him because we stayed here with him. 😭😭😭 I don't hate him. I never hated him. Even when he told me about all of his cheating, I wasn't even mad. Sadly, a little relieved. I want him and my kids to be happy, even if I sacrifice all of my happiness for that to happen. I hate this whole thing and don't know what to do. I don't want to take them away from him because I know he feels like they're all that he has left, but they are suffering so much too. I just wish that everyone was ok. I don't have anyone to talk to about this because everyone just says to get away from him, but its not that easy. My son adores his dad and is so sensitive, no matter how he tries to act. My daughter, too. But this is not the life that I want them to have.