Settling Uncertain Relationships: How to Know if You're Still Friends

We all have had those experiences of trying to figure out if the relationship we thought we had with someone still stands. Such uncertainties can come suddenly and linger for an extended period of time, leaving us wondering “are we still friends?”

There are a few ways you can approach this subject without making things too awkward. Being as direct as possible can be really beneficial in most cases, but at times you'll want to handle things more subtly. Acknowledging the uncertainty can be a great starting point in itself. Most importantly, try to be aware of your own feelings and needs so that when you get your answer, you know what what type of response you're looking for.

If you're considering approaching your friend, analyze the situation. Ask yourself why you are uncertain. Is it because of something you heard or something they did? Or maybe there has been a lack of communication for awhile? What would make you feel better about the situation?

When planning what your approach will be, remember to be honest with yourself. It is ok to tell them that you're unsure about the status of your relationship. This can open the door to some valuable dialogue. Similarly, if you think it would be unappropiate to be direct, take a step back. Consider why the subject may be uncomfortable to bring up, and look for other ways to gauge their feelings towards you.

One way to do this is to reflect on how you used to interact. Think about how frequently you spent time together, the topics of conversation, and the lengths of your conversations. Did these always stay the same, or has there been a change? It could be that your friend has been busy and hasn't had time to talk, or it could be that they don't feel comfortable talking. When analyzing the situation, try to figure out which it might be, and if needed, ask them directly.

In addition, consider the level of support they've provided in the past. Have they been someone you rely on? Do you seek them out when you need advice or help? While such relationships require effort from both parties, it can be a good sign if you are still reaching out in times of need.

It is important to have an open mind and be prepared for anything. Our relationships with our friends can evolve over time, and it is ok for that to happen. Strive to keep the judgement to a minimum and try to accept whatever answers you receive. By doing this, you establish a stronger foundation for continuing or re-establishing a friendship if desired.